Apropos of Something

Lost-vivor: “The Little Prince”

Jess — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:00:17 +0000

Welcome to Lost-vivor — all the mystery and adventure of Lost with an added dash of Survivor-style competition! Please note that the section ahead contains spoilers for this week’s episode of Lost. Proceed at your own risk.

Why He’s This Week’s Winner:
In a “shocking” development many viewers expected all along, Jin survived the freighter explosion! Nevertheless, cheating certain death always scores major Lost-vivor points — even if we all see it coming. Too bad he’s stuck skipping through time with the rest of the Left Behinders.

Coolest Moment:
His “WTF?!” face upon being introduced to a young Danielle Rousseau.

Why He’s This Week’s Loser:
Bad news, Random Assassin Disguised as a Nurse — you’re the latest addition to Sayid Jarrah’s ever-expanding Trail o’ Corpses.

Lamest Moment:
Spinning around dramatically to fire two tranquilizer darts into Sayid’s now-vacant pillow. Seriously, dude…if you turned your head like two degrees to the left, he was standing right there. Positioning himself slightly off-screen doesn’t make Sayid invisible, you know.

Confused by the new format? Check out the recap of “Because You Left” for more details.

“The Little Prince” was another solid episode. I didn’t find it quite as compelling as last’s week’s installment, but the episode as a whole was definitely effective in terms of moving the action forward, both on and off the Island. Of course, the Island stuff continues to be far more compelling than the continuing saga of the Oceanic Six, but I’m not really sure how the writers could remedy that problem. Among the off-Island crew, Ben and Sun are the only characters I find terribly intriguing. Kate has been grating on my nerves for a few seasons now, my beloved Sayid is in serious danger of becoming a one-dimensional character, Aaron has a giant noggin, and Jack is more or less following Ben blindly at this point (never a good idea).

In contrast, I can’t get enough of the time-hopping Islanders. Locke is once again channeling that vibe that made him such a cool character in the first season (although that’s usually fleeting), Sawyer is showing a surprising degree of emotional range, and Juliet is finally stepping up as a leader. I’m definitely intrigued by the hints that both Charlotte and Miles have a prior connection to the Island. I’m starting to wonder if Miles might be a grown-up version of Dr. Marvin Candle’s infant son, glimpsed briefly in the opening moments of the season premiere. Charlotte, on the other hand, I’m still trying to figure out.

Neither the Jin reveal nor the debut of Sinister, Gun-Totin’ Sun was particularly shocking, but I think I like the direction each is going. The younger, decidedly friendlier version of Rousseau was also a treat. I’ve always wanted more back story on Rousseau and her crew, and I hope Jin doesn’t hop away to another time period before we get a chance to see them stricken by the early stages of the Sickness.

Anyway, “The Little Prince” continues Season Five’s hot streak. Here’s hoping LOST can keep the momentum up as we move ahead.

Random Thoughts…

For some odd reason, my favorite quip of the night (as delivered by Ben): “He’s my lawyer.” Also, Ben’s lawyer is totally Graham from My So-Called Life.

I really enjoyed Locke’s spooked reaction to seeing the light shining up from the Hatch in the distance. It’s interesting that he still seems to think of that moment as his absolute lowest on the Island.

Hey, it’s Ajira Airways! Big ups to the viral marketing campaign, yo.

File this under Kooky Theories, but for some reason, I can’t shake the notion that the unseen people chasing the Left Behinders in the outrigger canoe might have been the Oceanic Six from some indeterminate point in the future. Why they would be shooting at the Left Behinders, however, I have no idea.

I wish someone would buy me a box of chocolates with a handgun in it.

That’s all for this week. See you next time!

Lost-vivor: “Jughead”

Jess — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 16:50:24 +0000

Why He’s This Week’s Winner:
Hey, it took seriously cojones for Desmond to waltz right into Widmore’s office and demand answers concerning Daniel Faraday’s mother. Oh, and he was lucky enough to bump into The Custodian Who Knows Quite A Bit For A Custodian during his visit to Oxford. And he and Penny have a son!

Coolest Moment:
Desmond’s description to little Charlie of the magical island where he used to live…that turns out to be Great Britain.

Why She’s This Week’s Loser:
Ah…the nosebleed. It’s television writers’ favorite fallback symptom when they need to portray a mysterious, as yet unexplained disease on screen. In this case, I’m pretty sure it’s acute time travel-itis, but I suppose it could always be good old-fashioned anemia.

Lamest Moment:
Collapsing with said nosebleed, just as the episode ended. The good news is that I’m almost certain I saw her up and marching through the jungle in the promo for next week’s episode.

Confused by the new format? Check out the recap of “Because You Left” for more details.

Remember that countdown of the Top 30 “WTF?!” Moments in LOST History I did a few months ago? Well, I think we can officially add the revelation that Charles Widmore is a former member of the Others to the list. I’ll go on record saying that the Widmore reveal has been my favorite moment of the season thus far. I’m already drawing up scenarios in my head. I’m thinking that perhaps Richard Alpert’s choice of a young Ben Linus as the future leader of the Others is the source of the animosity between Ben and Charles, ultimately resulting in Charles’ departure — or maybe even exile — from the Island. Very cool stuff, and an awesome twist.

Meanwhile, I’ve been reading a lot of speculation online that Des and Penny’s son Charlie, thanks to the miracle of time travel, will somehow end up being either Charles Widmore or Charlie Pace (Our Beloved Rock Hobbit) when he grows up. Call me crazy, but I just assumed Desmond wanted to name his son in memory of a friend who sacrificed his life for his fellow castaways.

Random Thoughts…

Juliet’s bit about learning Latin (”the enlightened language”) in Others 101 easily won the Best Quip award this week.

I get the feeling that Locke is being set up for a big fall vis-à-vis the Others. Hearing him call them “my people” and identifying himself as “sent by Jacob” just reminds me of all the other times in his life when Locke has felt accepted or important. Yeah, none of those worked out so great.

Aww…Daniel admitted that he’s in love with Charlotte. Have I mentioned that I really dig both of these characters? Charlotte took a little while to grow on me, but the freighter people as a whole have been excellent additions to the cast.

Fellow Internet geeks are all over the fact that the “enhanced” rebroadcast of “The Lie” from last week revealed that Ms. Hawking’s first name is Eloise, and that the female Other who Daniel thought he recognized from somewhere was named Ellie. Furthermore, all signs point of Ms. Hawking/Ellie being Daniel’s mother. Can the LOST writers really have made it this easy for us?

If I’m not mistaken, the compass that Richard Alpert and Locke have traded back and forth now exists in a time loop. Chronologically, the earliest time at which the compass is known to exist is depicted in this episode, when Locke gives it to Richard Alpert in the past. However, in order for Locke to give it to Richard, Locke had to first travel through time in order for Richard to give the watch to him in the present (or at least much closer to the present — if “the present” even means anything anymore on LOST). I loved the predestination paradox Locke set up by telling Richard to swing by the hospital in a few years to witness his birth, though.

Overall, another top-notch effort. I was afraid the show couldn’t follow through on the momentum it built up in Season Four, but so far so good. I’ll be back in a couple of days with a recap of this week’s episode, “The Little Prince.” Take care!

Lost-vivor: “The Lie”

Jess — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 18:46:36 +0000

Why She’s This Week’s Winner:
Process of elimination, basically. Sayid was unconscious the entire episode, Hurley allowed himself to be arrested for multiple homicides he didn’t commit, Juliet and Sawyer were captured by the Hostiles, Jack and Ben didn’t do anything interesting, and Locke didn’t show up until the very end. At least the Ghost of Ana Lucia has some decent advice to offer.

Coolest Moment:
“Oh, yeah — Libby says ‘Hi.’”

Why He’s This Week’s Loser:
It seems poor Neil was put on the Nikki/Paulo fast track. Instead of popping up and annoying audiences and castaways alike for half a season before meeting his grisly demise, Frogurt got all up in Bernard and Sawyer’s respective grills and then took a flaming arrow to the chest five minutes later. See you in another life, brotha.

Lamest Moment:
I’m going to go with the whole flaming arrow thing. I guess it’s still better than being buried alive, though.

Confused by the new format? Check out the recap of “Because You Left” for more details.

“The Lie” wasn’t quite the WTF-laden thrill ride of “Because You Left,” but it was a strong episode nonetheless. I still find the events taking place on the Island more interesting than the Oceanic Six stuff, but Hurley’s story was quite a bit of fun. I had no idea the big guy loved Shih Tzus! I’m also rather intrigued by Ben’s off-island contacts — i.e. Jill the corpse-hiding butcher. Oh, and the reveal of Ms. Hawking, the creepy jewelry store clerk who confronted a time-hopping Desmond in Season Three’s “Flashes Before Your Eyes,” was pure awesomeness.

Random Thoughts…

Hey, Rose — do you think you could henpeck Bernard a little more? I think he still has a little self-esteem left.

I’m digging Juliet more this season than I have in the past. Oh, and I’m totally turning into a Sawyer/Juliet ’shipper.

I’m pretty sure that Sun still blames Kate for Jin’s death, regardless of what she says. I can’t help but wonder if Sun is somehow in cahoots with Widmore at this point or if she’s still pursuing her own agenda.

Totally love the fact that Hurley’s dad was watching an episode of Exposé.

Nothing is tastier — or safer to eat — than a wild boar that drops dead in the middle of the jungle from natural causes. Nice work, Miles!

Threatening to cut off Juliet’s hand? No wonder DHARMA calls them the Hostiles.

I’m such a sucker for knife-throwing, super-awesome Locke that it’s almost enough to make me forget all the lame stuff he does in the average episode. Almost.

Did Hurley just throw a Hot Pocket at Ben? Libby would be so proud.

That’s it for “The Lie.” I’ll check back in the next couple of days with a quick recap of “Jughead,” and we should be back on schedule. Take care!

Lost-vivor: “Because You Left”

Jess — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 04:55:09 +0000

Welcome to Lost-vivor — all the mystery and adventure of LOST with an added dash of Survivor-style competition! Please note that the section ahead contains spoilers for this week’s episode of LOST. Proceed at your own risk.

I’ll get the easy part of the story out of the way first. Due first to equipment failure and then later to several consecutive days of nasty ice storms, I’ve been without an Internet connection for over a week. Hence the delay in posting Lost-vivor.

The more difficult part of the story is this: Lost-vivor is undergoing some significant changes this season. First, as the sorry state of my blog suggests, I simply don’t have the kind of time for blogging that I once did. Work, family, plans for world conquest…all the usual excuses. Secondly, as I watched the two-hour premiere of LOST last week, perched on the edge of the sofa with my Lost-vivor score sheet in hand, I realized that all the meticulous record-keeping was starting to detract from my enjoyment of the show. I just wanted to kick back and enjoy the ride, not micro-analyze whether that was a Hot Pocket or a microwaved burrito that Hurley just threw at Ben and then decide whether he gains points for using food as a weapon or loses points for throwing away a perfectly good Hot Pocket.

So, my plan this season is to turn Lost-vivor into something a little more manageable. Each week, I’ll choose a Lost-vivor of the Week and a Lost-loser of the Week. I’ll also share some of my thoughts on the week’s episode, throw out a few crackpot theories, and more or less do all the other stuff that goes along with the usual Lost-vivor recap.

To sum up: The recap is late because the T3 line that runs into the back of my skull came dislodged for a few days, and Lost-vivor is being watered down because I’m a lazy bastard. I’ll take care of “Because You Left” below and follow up with “The Lie” and “Jughead” in the next few days.

Why He’s This Week’s Winner:
Because Daniel Faraday is the effin’ man, yo. After realizing the Island was jumping around through time, he immediately took charge of his fellow Lost-vivors, effectively leapfrogging Sawyer, Juliet, and Frogurt in the Losties’ chain of command.

Coolest Moment:
It’s a sign of just how bad the economy is these days when a brilliant — if eccentric — physicist has no choice but to take a construction job to make ends meet, but how awesome was it seeing Dan on-hand for the initial excavation of the Orchid Station?

Why She’s This Week’s Loser:
If somebody came up to me on the street and asked if there was any way to make Kate from LOST an even more annoying character than she already was, I’d reply, “Yeah, I guess you could always team her up with a sickeningly precocious toddler and send them off in search of adventure.” Well played, LOST writers.

Lamest Moment:
Mostly the parts when she was on-screen. You know, talking and stuff. Here’s hoping Sun didn’t really forgive her for Jin’s apparent death.

My thoughts on the season premiere? Wow. Just wow. Already, Season Five is shaping up as a roller coaster ride of answers to longstanding mysteries coupled with the introduction of new brain-melting questions. I will say that I’m far more interested in the action taking place on the Island than I am with the Oceanic Six at this point. Somewhere along the way last season, it seems Daniel, Charlotte, and Miles emerged as some of my favorite characters on the show. It’s also a treat to have Richard Alpert back in action.

Fully embracing time travel as a central plot point could have been the moment when LOST jumped the (DHARMA) shark, but it feels like they’re actually going to pull this off. Meanwhile, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that we’ll jump back in time and get more of Rousseau’s back story at some point this season. Anyway, the season is off to a great start. I can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

Lost-vivor: “Because You Left” & “The Lie”

Jess — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 12:48:33 +0000

Due to the always-untimely intervention of real life, Lost-vivor will be delayed for a couple of days. In the meantime, feel free to discuss the Season 5 premiere below.

An Exercise in Ass-Covering (Or, This Job Is Killing Me)

Jess — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 15:07:01 +0000

So, I was sitting in my office yesterday, submitting my final grades for the semester, when noxious fumes began to emit from the ceiling vent above my desk. Thirty seconds later, I was feeling dizzy and spilled out into the hallway for some fresh air.

To my surprise, I bumped into a woman standing right outside my office door and wearing an expensive suit that practically screamed “Legal Professional.”

“Dr. Apropos?” she inquired.

“Yes.”

“We just wanted to inform you that we’re performing some routine maintenance on the furnace today and let you know that you might detect a faint odor in your office as a result.”

“Yeah, I noticed. Are the fumes dangerous?”

“We don’t have any reason to think so, sir.”

“So, is this some kind of liability thing? Is the university officially informing me of the fumes to avoid any potential lawsuits in case I keel over due to exposure?”

“No, sir. We just wanted to let you know and see if you had any questions.”

“But the fumes aren’t dangerous?”

“We don’t have any reason to think so.”

“You said that before — and it’s not exactly reassuring.”

“I’m sorry, Dr. Apropos, but we need to speak to a few more professors in the building. Have a nice day.”

So, yeah…I imagine I have a few more hours to live (at most). It’s been grand!

Updating my status via the ancient Japanese art of haiku

Jess — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 17:28:14 +0000

Posters Transform Sci-Fi Faves into Noir Thrillers

Jess — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 13:55:31 +0000

More at Timothy Lim’s deviantART page.

Breaking radio silence to bring you this important message

Jess — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 13:58:55 +0000

Election prediction: Obama wins with 311 electoral votes.

Who am I voting for? This guy:

That being said, while I support Candidate Skywalker’s energy policy of ending our country’s crippling dependence on foreign power converters from Tosche Station, his association with known smugglers like Han Solo raises significant questions about his character.

These are the voyages…

Jess — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:52:58 +0000

Six new photos from J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek reboot revealed, including shots of the entire crew, their retro-spiffy uniforms, the Enterprise’s bridge, and Eric Bana’s Romulan baddie.

In my dreams, I’m Bret Michaels’ would-be girlfriend

Jess — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 22:39:06 +0000

I’ve been fighting off the flu for almost a week now, and I find that I’m spending most of my free time in a NyQuil and Benadryl-induced stupor as a result. As I’ve mentioned before, NyQuil does strange things to me. Specifically, the stuff gives me bizarre, disturbingly realistic dreams. Last night was no exception.

When I finally stopped coughing long enough to dose off last night, I dreamed that I was a contestant on VH1’s Rock of Love. Yeah, for reals. Mind you, I wasn’t myself competing on Rock of Love. Instead, I was this chick:

Yep, I spent all night in a drug-induced coma dreaming that I was the airheaded Brandi C. from the first season of Rock of Love, competing for the heart of washed-up Poison front man Bret Michaels. Needless to say, I think it’s time for a new Nighttime Sniffling, Sneezing, Coughing, Aching, Stuffy Head, Fever, So I Can Rest Medicine. And therapy.

Antichrist Superstar: Conversations with the Elderly

Jess — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:22:50 +0000

I was having lunch yesterday afternoon with my evangelical step-grandmother-in-law (you know, my wife’s grandfather’s second wife) when the discussion turned to politics.

Her: So, Jess…you study politics for a living. What do you think of our current candidates?

Me: Well, I’m a pretty liberal guy, so I’m inclined to vote for Barack Obama.

Her: Aren’t you worried that he might be the Antichrist?

Me: Pardon?

Her: The Antichrist. Aren’t you concerned that by voting for Obama, you might be voting for the Antichrist?

Me: Not really. I figure if he’s the Antichrist, he’s going to win no matter who I support. So, why not? Right?

Her: But, I mean, wouldn’t that worry you if –

Me: Besides, if Barack Obama really is the Antichrist, why would evangelical Christians want to stand in the way of his rise to power? After all, it’s just a necessary step in bringing about Armageddon and, thus, Christ’s eventual reign on Earth. I mean, aren’t the End Times a good thing if you’re right with God?

Her: Are you telling me that you’d stand up to be counted with the enemies of everything the –

Me: I’m just saying that until Obama admits that he’s the Antichrist, I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. Could you pass the rolls, please?

I grow more popular with the in-laws by the day.

My Little Pony + Star Wars = Awesome!

Jess — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 04:29:54 +0000

For more geek-friendly custom ponies (including Batman, Catwoman, Cthulhu, and others), check out Mari Kasurinen’s deviantART gallery.

via Topless Robot

Jeff Probst blogs “Survivor: Gabon”

Jess — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 13:36:48 +0000

Survivor host Jeff Probst is blogging the new Gabon season, offering a behind-the-scenes peek at each week’s episode. Cool!

Crazy-Ass “Top Model” Quote of the Week (Sept. 24)

Jess — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 20:36:48 +0000

In all fairness to Mr. Jay, he did say “almost.”

The Ten Least Terrifying Justice League Villains

Jess — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 15:34:40 +0000

The Ten Least Terrifying Justice League Villains. Hey, some of these characters are almost lame enough to appear in the new season of Heroes!

Crazy-Ass “Top Model” Quote of the Week (Sept. 17)

Jess — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 12:41:38 +0000

Seriously, how cracktastic is Top Model this season?

He’s dead, Jim: The 12 Weakest Deaths in Sci-Fi History

Jess — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 21:21:13 +0000

Remember when Cyclops died in X-Men 3 and nobody cared (or even seemed to notice)? io9.com counts down the 12 Weakest Deaths in Science Fiction History.

SNL Digital Short: Space Olympics

Jess — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 15:24:07 +0000

SNL Digital Short: Andy Samberg welcomes you to the Space Olympics. Drug tests are mandatory.

Revenge of the Screen Name: A Play in One Act

Jess — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:20:09 +0000

THE SCENE: A Borders bookstore at the local mall. JESS, a 31-year-old college professor and self-professed pop culture geek, stands in line to purchase a recently-released book on global warming. When he reaches the front of the line, he encounters CHECKOUT GIRL, a twentysomething woman running the register.

CHECKOUT GIRL: Are you a Rewards Club member, sir?

JESS: Yes, but I don’t have my membership card on me.

CHECKOUT GIRL: That’s not a problem; we can look it up. Can I have your phone number, please?

JESS: Sure. It’s 555-2368.

CHECKOUT GIRL: Alright, there you are. Okay, just let me confirm the e-mail address. Are you…Mr. Decaf Jedi?

JESS: Um, yeah. That’s me.

CHECKOUT GIRL: Is that short for something?

JESS: Decaffeinated Jedi. It’s just a silly Internet nickname from ten years ago.

CHECKOUT GIRL: I see. Well, your receipt is in the bag. Have a great day, Mr. Jedi!

JESS: Thanks.

FIN.