Re: TEXT: pemci

[Goran Topic <topic@math.hr>]

>      lo ni fa le vi nanmu cu pinji
>      vau bancu le lakne zei linji
>      .i zmabra .i gohu
>      cu mukti .oirohu
>      le spepli be lo cmadesminji
>
> ----
> And


Translation:
(Amount-of: the-man-here is a penis) type-of
exceeder of probable-line
. Bigger. That
motivates <sexual discomfort>
spouse-use of vibrator

Comments on the language:
1. The {fa} is not necessary (just a 'warning', not an 'error' - if you do C
   programming - like, dunno if you wanted it there, so I better warn you :))
2. I believe you want {se pinji} in the first line...
3. You better put in a {cu} after {vau}, or replace the {vau} with {ku},
   else you wind up making a tanru {ni}+{bancu}, and you don't get a
   complete sentence
4. Your use of {linji} is metaphorical - doesn't work for boundary (sorry
   to ruin your rhyme) - {linji} is 1-dimensional, continuous set of points.
5. I find {spepli} quite vague for a lujvo - tanru would be quite OK.

I am so sorry to rain on your parade, but it just doesn't work... Though
I appreciate your effort. Anyway, I don't think I have enough guts to
venture into writing a poem in lojban with my knowledge... I really admire
you guys who can. :) I just wish everybody would try to use more lojban.
But maybe that's just me. TTYL...

co'o mi'e. goran.


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