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Re: TEXT: Re: TEXT: Imagist



la'o grync And grync cusku la'o gyk
 i

dihu mi setese ciksi le krinu be le sohi pihonciha se srera
sepahu roledo notci vekaha le jboxemrmri .i
- bahe mi damba le tutcrvi .iucuhi ku vaho le vanbrlunixy
faho

[notes: I mean "sepahu" to link to "srera", "vekaha" to
"notci", and "vaho" to "damba". "Tutcrvi" = the Vi editor
of unix. "Vanbrlunixy" = (suitably ghastly) fuhivla for
unix.]  i

gyk

Thanks for your notes.
To link sepa'u to srera strictly you could use 'be':
"se srera be se pa'u"
"The many user-writing {errors which are part of...}"
but I suspect you really mean to link it to 'le .. srera',
for which use 'pe'.

"va'o" does link to "damba" with or without the 'ku' -
it would need 'pe' or 'ne' to link to 'tutcrvi'.

On the other hand, "ve ka'a" links to 'ciksi'. You need
a 'pe' or 'ne' there.

fu'ivla may not contain 'y', so vanbrlunixy is invalid.

I'm not sure what the latest status is of varying
lujvo glue - I believe 'n' is not optional,  and
you should use "pi'orci'a", but I'm not dogmatic about
that one.

I can't find rafsi "xem" and guess you mean
'jboxelmri'

Corrected version:

di'u mi setese ciksi le krinu be le so'i pi'orci'a se srera
pe se pa'u ro le do notci pe ve ka'a le jboxelmri .i
ba'e mi damba le tutcrvi .iu cu'i ku va'o le vanbrlunixi
fa'o

Pedantry time:
le ciksi is an explainer. The explanation is the x4.
I'm not sure whether there's a naughty sumti-raising
in "krinu le .. srera", but I'm willing to let it be.

Further corrected version

di'u mi ve se te se ciksi le krinu be le so'i pi'orci'a se srera
pe se pa'u ro le do notci pe ve ka'a le jboxelmri .i
ba'e mi damba le tutcrvi .iu cu'i ku va'o le vanbrlunixi
fa'o



.i co'o mi'e kolin