Re: David Brin short story

["Jorge J. Llambias" <jorge@INTERMEDIA.COM.AR>]

~Mark:
>>    From my regular booth by the window, I saw several customers
>>    abruptly leave. The brave, or curious, remained.
>>
>>    i to'o le mi tcaci stuzi pe ne'a le canko mi viska le nu so'o te
>>    barja cu suksa cliva i le virnu ja kucli cu stali
>
>Only one point: wouldn't "ne ne'a le canko" make more sense than "pe"?
>"pe" implies that of my regular booths, this is the one by the window.  But
>we're simply adding more info about the booth.
>
>I imagine just "ne le canko" would suffice too.

I agree. Also, {to'o le mi tcaci stuzi} is probably wrong. Why should
the seeing have to come from the seeer rather than from the seeee?
So I would leave it at:

        i mi ne le mi tcaci stuzi ne le canko cu viska ...


How about some more comments on the translation, doi rodo? Can anyone
come up with good lujvo for "convulsive", "seizure", "epilepsy"? Mine
were rather uninspired.

co'o mi'e xorxes