A Message from the CEO...

Dear Monolith Burger Customers,

    Welcome to the all-new and improved Monolith Burger corporate website.  My name is Diane Murase, CEO of Monolith Burger, Inc.  I hope you enjoy your stay here at the Monolith Burger site.  A great deal of hard work has been put into making this website great--just as much hard work as we put into making every burger you order at Monolith the best it can possibly be, considering its contents.

    I started out at Monolith Burger a scant year or so ago.  At the time, I had just turned 19 was little more than the corporate webmistress--the lowest rung on the corporate ladder.  My first assignment:  design the Monolith Burger Website.  What you see before you today is based upon the work that I did many months ago--work which, by the way, has won a number of awards in the on-line fast food industry, I might add.  However, when our previous CEO was lured away by a chain of intergalactic Quik-Shops a few months ago, I somehow managed to land atop the heap in the ensuing struggle for power.  Now, I'm 20 years old, confident, and --most importantly-- filthy rich!  I've managed to double the size of Monolith Burger since taking over, making it the most profitable business in the known universe.  And, after all of these changes, I've learned what could be the most important lesson of my life:  I'll never, ever code HTML again! All the silly brackets, useless tables, and bad frames nearly drove me crazy!  Now, I can afford to pay dozens senseless lackeys to sit around and code HTML all day long and it doesn't even put a dent in my pocketbook!  Hahaha!  But, I digress.  Already, I've put a skilled worker into my former post as webmistress--Decaffeinated Jedi, webmaster of Roger Wilco's Virtual Broomcloset.  Some of you might remember him as the original host of this website.  Now, he's not only the host, but also the webmaster of the site.  All I can say is, I'm glad it's not me!

    Well, duty calls and I must answer!  As I said, enjoy the website and always remember our motto.  Monolith Burger--because when you're stuck in the endless void of space, there's nowhere else to eat.


Diane Murase

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