Re: CAFE.INT: su'u xekri

[CJ FINE <C.J.Fine@BRADFORD.AC.UK>]

The next instalment of my translation from Nick's 'black' piece
2.
A couple of waiters were slowly making their erratic way towards the
drinkers. Paul was talking about being the active partner in sex,
his face serious. The loud joke had caused that. (note 1)

"I've too let the other person control", ruefully. "But last night
I dominated Liz." (note 2)
"Was that planned?"
"Not quite sure - I think it was accidental."
"Paul's a pain, isn't he, Liz?"
"Yes, a real pain. Look, stop being so nasty."
"Go on then, make me!" (something had been enough to make the quiet
detailed (?) friendly and loving relationship which does not normally show
this behaviour (note 3))
"I will!"
Paul and Liz started kicking eath other gleefully under the table. Liz,
steel-fisted, quicksilver-footed, sea-eyed, is an expert at unarmed
combat. I turned away, embarassed, and not good at unarmed combat, and
looked round the bar.

 >   > ni'oremo'o
> su'o bevri cu.a'acu'i masno kalsydzu zo'i loi ve barja .i la
> paul. cu tavla (to leno'a mebri cu jurja'o .i le laurxajmi pu'i
> vlipa .au toi) fi leli'i ge'utro .i <<lu .i mi du'eroi .u'anaizo'o
> se ge'utro .iku'i mi purlaicte se go'i la liz. oinai.u'i li'u>>
> <<lu.i xu purpla go'i zo'o li'u>> <<lu .ipe'i.ianai snuti li'u>>
> <<lu.i la paul. jikfanza .iepei doi liz. .u'iru'e li'u>> <<lu .i
> carmi jikfanza ju'o .iu .i ko co'u xlapre .i'u li'u>> <<lu .izo'o
> tu'ako bapli .e'inai li'u>> (to pu'i vlipa .au fi leka smaji ke
> tcila prami joi pendo noisu'anai se mupli na'ebo lecaca'a seltai
> .i'o toi) <<lu .i mi le'o go'i li'u>>
> .i la paul. ce la liz. co'a cisma simtipyda'a ni'a le jubme .i
> la liz. (to gasta bo demxa'e ce margu bo jamfu ce xamsi bo kanla
> vau .io toi) certu lezu'o bracau damba .i mi se mliburna ctacarna
> co na'eke bracau damba certu gi'e zgana le barja

Notes:
1. I can't make much sense of this: what the 'laurxajmi' is, in what sense
it was 'powerful', nor, especially, what it is that Nick is wanting ('au').

2. I think "se go'i" is very confusing after a "se ge'utro". I *think*
I've got it right ("go'i" represents the entire selbri, so the "se"
unconverts it into "se se ge'utro"), but even if it's correct, it's going
to be a long time before anybody is confident enough to be sure of that
sort of thing on the fly. I would prefer a "ku'i" or something to make
assurance doubly sure.

3. I can't get a lot out of this sentence in detail, though I think I have
the gist. Again, I don't know what it is that's supposed to be being
powerful, nor why Nick wants it, and I don't know what a 'detail friend
and lover' is.

Once again, lovely flavours in your use of long tanru, to-toi brackets
(but you overdo them, and they tend to be very unclear without their
x1's), attitudinals.
I am not happy with some of the tanru and lujvo - it took me quite a while
working out what a 'dense-hand' might be. That long inverted tanru in the
last sentence I translated gives me problems. I understand the words, and
think I have understood the sense, but for the life of me I can't work out
what you were trying to achieve by that "co". I've also assumed that the
"se" before "milburna" was a mistake (I don't suppose you meant that I -
you - were an embarrassING look-turner) - and I'm not at all sure about
'look-turner' - 'turn-looker' would appear more appropriate to me.


                ko gleki selzdi le salci
                        mi'e kolin