Re: CAFE.INT: su'u xekri

[Nick Nicholas <nsn@MULLIAN.EE.MU.OZ.AU>]

Saith C.J.Fine@BRADFORD.AC.UK in his/her manifold wisdom:

>My translation of part 1 of Nick's "su'u xekri"  ("Black")

For which many thanks.

>Paul, god-like in a black sleeveless (hm, sexy!) undershirt, said "You
>mean, of the mammalian state."

I meant it to mean "hm, you're talking mammals here" or "it's a mammal
situation", but that's fair. Astute readers may recognise this as a segue
from Iain's Saurichsia piece.

>It is late at the bar, and the sky is supremely black, seen from the
>windowed building. (Note 1)

god-like black in the original; "God" prefixed is an emphatic in Greek
and, I think, Aramaic, but I'm not sure how effective it is in Lojban.
I meant {se canko se nenri} to denote those contained by the building with
the windows, but that's obviously a bit too lazy.

>Far away, a black chaos of terrible black holes, destroying and creating
>with fearful strength and violence. (Note 2). And right here, the same sort
>of thing going on.

I was lazy with the place structure of {kalsa} too, mandating that it
be "a chaos of...", which I'd already translated in Colossal Cave as
{kalsysu'a}. The same sort of thing going on in a *social* sense.

>the jersey tied round my midriff. Somebody ? sings "Grey man, in grey clothes,
>riding a grey horse" (note 3).
ba'anaita'o is three cmavo.

>Actually they don't.
They don't, as far as the right cultural context is concerned (It's a Greek
folk song.)

>Properly, GRUS are replaced by XEKR.

I'm trying to say "the string GREY is replaced by the string BLACK".

>        That's "black" in the bar.

There's a blackness going on in the bar.

>I am impressed with this piece of writing, while at the same time, I am not
>at all sure that it works.

Yeah... trying to be creatively Lojbanic, but I may be in over my head...

>        ".ivusaibo" - the "sai" says there is an strong but unspecified
>        emotion attached to the "vu" (far away). [It does not intensify
>        the "vu" itself].

Well... needn't it?

Hm. Should I publish my own intended translation of the complete piece,
or wait for you all to have done with it?

---
'Dera me xhama t"e larm"e,            T  Nick Nicholas, EE & CS, Melbourne Uni
 Dera mbas blerimit                   |  nsn@munagin.ee.mu.oz.au (IRC: nicxjo)
 Me xhama t"e larm"e!                 |  Milaw ki ellhnika/Esperanto parolata/
 Lumtunia nuk ka ngjyra tjera.'       |  mi ka'e tavla bau la lojban. je'uru'e
 - Martin Camaj, _Nj"e Shp'i e Vetme_ |                *d'oh!*