Dining in the Classic City, Part Deux

Posted on March 26, 2004 @ 7:06 am

My friends and I had the strangest lunch experience the other day. We went out for Mexican, and immediately noticed that our server seemed a bit “off,” so to speak. For instance, she insisted on calling us “boys” and engaging us in small talk that I would place somewhere along the continuum between flirtation and outright ridicule. Eventually, we got around to placing our orders, and Justin, a vegetarian, asked our server if the cheese and onion enchiladas combo would contain any meat.

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” she explained. “You’re going to get a cheesy sauce on your enchiladas instead the usual tomato sauce, since the tomato sauce has meat in it. Then, you’re going to get a double order of black beans and no rice, because the rice is cooked in chicken stock.”

Sure, her delivery seemed a bit matter-of-fact, but I had to give her credit for knowing the restaurant’s menu and looking out for her vegetarian customers. Things got even stranger, however, when the other member of our party placed his order for a chicken burrito.

“Good choice — my personal favorite. Now, do you want black beans or refried beans with that?”

My friend asked which she would recommend, to which she responded, “You’ll get black beans. You know, it’s great that you boys trust me so much…you know, not to spit in your food or anything.” She then walked off laughing.

Now, I’ve never worked in a restaurant, but I’d assume rule number one is to avoid the phrase “spit in your food” whenever possible — even if it’s preceded by such phrases as “I promise not to,” “I didn’t,” or “I won’t.”

This kind of wackiness continued throughout the meal, including the waitress chastising Justin at one point for not finishing his refill. I think it was all in good fun. Of course, I’m also relatively sure that our server was completely insane. You just had to be there.

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