Tales from the Lunchroom
Posted on February 25, 2004 @ 1:42 pm
Campus is abuzz today with rumors of snow in the forecast — enough of a novelty in Georgia to get people genuinely excited. Meanwhile, I can’t help but reminisce about elementary school in Virginia and the times when it would begin to flurry during the school day. Needless to say, my classmates and I would spend the entire day ignoring our teachers and staring out the windows, studying the snow a flake at a time to see if it would accumulate enough to send us home from school early. Sooner or later, usually while we were eating our lunches in the cafeteria, our vice principal would appear with important news.
“Did you hear that we’re getting out after lunch today?” he’d ask us.
Needless to say, this would send all of us into ecstatics as visions of sledding and snowball fights danced in our heads. Around that point, our vice principal would break into a grin, prompting someone to ask, “Are we really getting out after lunch today?”
“Of course,” he’d reply, “right around 3:15 — just like we always do!”
He’d have a good laugh and then return to his vice principal duties, leaving my classmates and I to finish our lunches, dejected knowing that our dreams of a truncated school day had been deferred.
Then, he’d do it again the next year. And the year after that. Year in and year out, my classmates and I wanted school to be dismissed early so very badly that we’d go along for the ride one more time — even though we knew better.
In our vice principal’s defense, he wasn’t a cruel man — just a guy who enjoyed a good joke (even if it was at the expense of pre-adolescents). In fact, I remember him as a wonderful administrator that I truly respected and admired as a child, not to mention a man with an uncanny knack for hitting backward, over-the-head free throws in the school gymnasium.
Furthermore, I can understand his temptation to use his position of authority to mislead students. When I heard my class discussing the rumored snow before we got started today, my mind was racing to devise a way to adapt the “getting out after lunch” motif to the university setting. Thus far, I’m at a loss, but I hope to have something ready in time for next winter.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Random Musings |
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Wonderful administrator? Funny, I remember him being a complete dork with nothing better to do than hang out for the majority of the day in the gymnasium, attempting no-look free throws and telling jokes too lame for even elementary school kids to find amusing.
I think your memory is a bit fuzzy regarding our elementary days, probably because of the time you ran into that wall and put that permanent knot on your head. Now that’s something to reminisce about, so here’s the story:
I believe we were in the 4th or 5th grade. Our class was walking in single file from our room to either the cafeteria, the gym, or somewhere else-doesn’t matter. On the way, even though he knew he wasn’t supposed to, Jess decided to take a quick drink of water from one of the fountains by the wall. But in his stealthy haste, he didn’t account for the fountain being set into a slight indentation in the wall; so, a brief break in stride, a quick drink, and BAM! Jess slams the upper-left side of his head into the small bit of wall he had momentarily forgotten about. Unless there have been recent developments, I believe that knot is still there to this day…seriously.
Anyway, quit handing out props to the undeserving.
Okay, the bump-on-the-head story is true and, yes, it’s still there to this day. To flesh out the story a bit, the class was returning from the library in a single-file line. We weren’t allowed to break line for any reason (although I can’t recall the actual punishment — probably writing our names on the board or something like that). Anyway, I was thirsty and stepped out of line to get the drink from the water fountain that was recessed into the hallway. As I was drinking, the teacher called for me to get back in line. In my haste to comply with the rules, I spun around and went full speed ahead into the wall, permanently reconfiguring my skull in the process.
But, that’s beside the point. Our vice principal was da bomb-diggity, yo! Dude r0×0red. He did spend a lot of time in the gym, though. And his jokes were pretty corny. Still, he was a lot more pleasant than the principal, right?
Sorry, they both sucked bigtime. But at least the VP smiled and didn’t talk like Mushmouth in slow motion.
Are we talking about Mr. Turner? If so, yeah, he was pretty nice, but that moustache creeped me out.
In all fairness, the moustache was vaguely stylish circa 1985.
Somebody sure is defensive about his elementary school vice principal…is there something you’re not telling us? But if it envolves the moustache in any way, I’d rather not know.
Andy, not that I’m on Jessee’s side here; but I feel the need to point out that kids that carry brief cases to elementary school are equally as creepy as vice principals with unsightly facial hair.
*sigh* That was what? 20 years ago?! Sheesh! It’s no wonder I moved to Kingsport the very next year.