Isolation Day
Posted on February 13, 2004 @ 5:23 pm
My wife hates Valentine’s Day. Hates it. As I’m reminded on an annual basis, she feels that it’s a contrived, overly-commercialized holiday manufactured by the evil triumvirate of the greeting card, candy, and floral industries that only serves to perpetuate the idea that romance should be confined to one day per year. I should note that she doesn’t reject the notion of Valentine’s Day in that all-too-common way where she tells me not to buy her anything or take her out to dinner, only to get upset when I don’t take the iniative to do so of my own accord. Trust me — if I were to walk into the house tomorrow carrying a stuffed bear with little red hearts on its paws, the consequences would be too terrible to mention. Seriously.
Due to my wife’s general distaste for all things Valentine’s Day, we’ve celebrated our own alternative holiday on February 14th for the past five years — a holiday we like to call Isolation Day. To celebrate Isolation Day, we basically just spend as much time apart from one another as possible for the day and carefully avoid doing anything vaguely romantic when we are together. It’s a terrific day to clean out the gutters or grab a bite to eat at Taco Bell instead of buying roses or making dinner reservations at Chez Coûteux. Best of all, it leads to great conversations like this:
Me: “What do you want to do for Isolation Day tomorrow, honey?”
Her: “Nothing.”
Me: “Cool.”
Want to join us — and by “join us” I mean “stay the heck away from us” — in celebrating Isolation Day this year? Just explain to your significant other why you won’t be celebrating Valentine’s Day, make other plans for yourself, and have a great time sticking it to the confectionery-floral-military-industrial complex.*
Happy Isolation Day Eve, one and all!
*Apropos of Something is not responsible for any damages incurred while explaining to your significant other why you won’t be celebrating Valentine’s Day this year.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Random Musings |
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I plan to celebrate the NBA All-Star Weekend.
You and George Constanza’s father, who invented “Festivus,” should get together and rework the rest of the holidays on the calendar!
We’re setting our sights on St. Patrick’s Day next.