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SQfan87 · Posted: September 28, 2007, 7:58 am Post subject: It's Not You; It's Me

the age old problem. How do you tell someone you're really not into them? You're friends... everything is cool... and then they get all flirty and start droppin hints. You don't want to hurt their feelings but you want to stop being hit on persistently. What's the best way to let them down and keep the friendship? Or is that even possible?
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Datadog · Posted: September 28, 2007, 9:10 am Post subject:

My mind is reeling at the thought of you being in a relationship or even trying to break one off, but since you need some fatherly advice, sit down on my lap and let me give you the straight poop.

First off, yes, it is possible to break up and stay friends. The other New Year's Eve, my brother got all his exes together into one room and organized a lesbian make-out party. So keep in mind that THIS is what you're aiming for.

Stay completely honest. Organize a sit-down and have a perfectly reasonable excuse for breaking up with them. Get them to understand WHY you're making this choice, and don't beat around the bush. None of this "it's not you, it's me" crap. Never leave them hanging or they'll still think you're together.

Avoid relationships for a while. If you intend on staying friends, you better not hurt her feelings by jumping right back on the horse after you quit. This tends to cause suicide in some people. It's better to let her heal to some extent first.

There will be weirdness left between the two of you. Remember that the weirdness will eventually subside give or take a couple months or even years. Just don't let it get to you. If it gets to her and she starts acting angry, desperate, or really emotional, take some time out from each other.

That's all I got.
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Justas · Posted: September 28, 2007, 6:00 pm Post subject:

Or pull a George Costanza and propose a Ménage à trois.
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Wangly Dang · Andromedan Joined: 18 Apr 2002 Posts: 1798

Next time I'm feeling down about myself I'll think about this thread and feel better knowing that I don't ask for dating advice from the Space Quest community.

Datadog totally ruined it by actually supplying you with useful advice.

You could construct an elaborate set of tasks for them to complete in order for them to potentially earn the next step in the relationship. From your demeanour I assume your persuasion is hermaphrodite or something involving animal DNA, so the tasks could include feather dusters and confetti made from human skin.

CMK2901 · Posted: September 29, 2007, 3:30 am Post subject:

Tell her you spend a lot of time on an internet forum dedicated to a parody-based science fiction video game from the early 90's that hasn't had a new installment in more than a decade. And then tell her that you asked them for dating advice.

And then tell her that you listened to them.
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Justas · Posted: September 29, 2007, 4:36 pm Post subject:

Then kick her.

Then kick yourself.

Then kick yourself again.

Heh heh heh...
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Wangly Dang · Andromedan Joined: 18 Apr 2002 Posts: 1798

Then release the hounds!

Datadog · Posted: October 1, 2007, 8:54 am Post subject:

olzen · Posted: October 2, 2007, 1:30 pm Post subject:

Hey, you bastards told me that would turn her on!
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Wangly Dang · Andromedan Joined: 18 Apr 2002 Posts: 1798

It would've in your case. That's what's so sick about it.