Woohoo! Today marks the fifth anniversary of Apropos of Something’s glorious launch, and I wanted to invite everyone out there in Internet Land to join me in quaffing the celebratory beverage of your choice (as long as it’s not Mountain Dew).

As the site’s banner proudly proclaims, I’ve been dispensing two-fisted justice here at Ye Olde Blog since 2003 — primarily in the form of movie reviews, geeky countdowns, remixed comic book panels, and overly-elaborate TV show recaps. Even scarier, I just realized this morning that I’ve been consistently publishing on the Internet in one form or another (webzines, fansites, blogs) for the past thirteen years. Just imagine what a more socially responsible individual could have accomplished during that same amount of time!

Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone who’s followed the site through the years. When I started blogging back in ‘03, I never imagined anyone would be interested in reading my inane ramblings. You guys make it fun, and I appreciate that you’ve stuck around — even through my brief infatuation with blogging about Britney Spears back in ‘07.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m heading off on vacation for the next few days. Regular posting will resume soon. Arrivederci!

 
Hello Kitty will swallow your soul.

(via TokyoMango)

 
Although the summer is winding down, there are still plenty of flicks I’m looking forward to in 2008, including Pineapple Express (August 6), Tropic Thunder (August 15), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (August 15), Hamlet 2 (August 22), Burn After Reading (September 12), Zack and Miri Make a Porno (October 31), Quantum of Solace (November 7), and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (November 21).

What are your favorite films of 2008 so far, and what releases are you still anticipating?

 
I think it’s safe to assume that Mark’s conversational pause was due to his surprise that, of all the “frequent customers” he’d been asked to call, I was the first one who turned out to be a dude. And with such a misleading name, too!

Nevertheless, the call speaks to a deeper problem — my aforementioned obsession with scented candles. In response to the escalating nature of the situation, I’m officially declaring a personal six-month moratorium on all candle purchases. For the next six months, I won’t buy any new candles and will only burn existing candles from my (admittedly substantial) stockpile. That’s unless somebody gives me a Yankee Candle gift card for Christmas — you know, because then it would be rude not to spend it.

Hmm…so, what does one wear to a candle-sniffing party?

 
It’s about time the foes from Super Mario Bros. 2 got their due!

 
What I liked about X-Files: I Want to Believe…

 
What I didn’t like about X-Files: I Want to Believe…

X-Files: I Want to Believe wasn’t nearly as bad as many reviewers made it out to be, but it was still underwhelming in the sense that it didn’t live up to many of the series’ most fondly remembered episodes. In turn, I can’t help but wonder, why now? Why this project? Six years after the television series ended and ten years after the first X-Files movie, what was it about I Want to Believe that compelled Anderson and Duchovny to return to the roles that made them famous in the first place? Now, that’s a mystery worth investigating.

The verdict: B-

I realize that it’s a little out of the ordinary for a iPod-toting, blog-authoring technogeek like myself not to own a cell phone, but it occurred to me the other day that I barely even use our landline. I often go four or five days at a time without speaking to another human being over the phone. Apparently, my beef isn’t with cell phones, per se; it’s with the entire concept of telephonic communication.

If I had a time machine, I’d probably travel back to 1876 and punch Alexander Graham Bell in his smug, beardy face. Then, while I was there, I’d do whatever I could to prevent Colorado’s admission to the Union (but that’s an altogether different story).

To recap, I’m not just a Luddite. I’m actually an antisocial, unpopular Luddite. With a grudge against Alexander Graham Bell. And Colorado. Just so we’re clear.

 
If you’ve ever secretly yearned to see John C. Reilly wear a Chewbacca mask or watch Will Ferrell teabag a drum kit, this is the movie for you!

The verdict: C-

1. Cheated by the opposite of love. Held on high from up up up above. — Yeah Yeah Yeahs, “Cheated Hearts” (amber)
    
   
2. It can’t all be wedding cake. It can’t all be boiled away. I try but I can’t let go of it, can’t let go of it. — Spoon, “The Underdog” (Brandon)
    
3. Damn they don’t make ‘em like this anymore. I ask, ’cause I’m not sure. Do anybody make real shit anymore? — Kanye West, “Stronger” (pea)
    
4. My rhymes are so potent that, in this small segment, I made all of the ladies in the area pregnant. — Flight of the Conchords, “Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros” (callmekelly and Thud)
    
5. Glitter on the mattress. Glitter on the highway. Glitter on the front porch. Glitter on the hallway. — B-52’s, “Love Shack” (Leah)
    
6. God that was strange to see you again, introduced by a friend of a friend. Smiled and said, “Yes, I think we’ve met before.” In that instant, it started to pour. — Stars, “Your Ex-Lover is Dead” (Kara)
    
7. Why don’t you sit right down and stay a while? We like the same things, and I like your style. — She & Him, “Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?” (SamuraiFrog)
    
8. So, you say you wanna talk? Let’s talk. If you won’t talk, I’ll walk. Yeah, it’s like that. — Pink, “There You Go” (jess)
    
9. It was in the early morning hours when I fell into a phone call. Believing I had supernatural powers, I slammed into a brick wall. — Paul Simon, “Gumboots” (Thud and Thom)
    
10. But you can wake up younger, under the knife. And you can wake up sounder if you get analyzed. And I better wake up. There but for the grace of God go I. — Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins, “Rise Up With Fists!!” (Matthew E)
     
11. Well, my heart knows me better than I know myself, so I’m gonna let it do all the talking. — KT Tunstall, “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree” (Yeyo)
     
12. Build a wall of books between us in our bed. Repeat, repeat the words that I know we both said. Relax into the need, we get so comfortable. Remember when I was so strange and likeable? — Tegan and Sara, “Back in Your Head” (Adrianne)
     
13. I ain’t freakin’, I ain’t fakin’ this. — The Ting Tings, “Shut Up and Let Me Go” (Thom and Brandon)
     
14. I tried to keep her on a short leash. I tried to calm her down. I tried to ram her into the ground, yeah. — Veruca Salt, “Seether” (Brendan)
     
15. This was a triumph. I’m making a note here: “Huge success!” It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction. — GLaDOS, “Still Alive” (Yeyo)

 
Good luck!

Warning: Minor spoilers for The Dark Knight ahead!

Catwoman

Why she’s the right choice: After seeing The Dark Knight, I can only assume that any sequel will need a new female lead. Who better than Selina Kyle, a.k.a. Catwoman, to fill that role? She’s one of Batman’s oldest and most established foes — not to mention a potential love interest for the Caped Crusader.

Except: Scriptwriter David Goyer expressed a lack of enthusiasm about Catwoman in some pre-Dark Knight interviews. Plus, with Halle Berry’s Catwoman debacle still fresh in moviegoers’ minds, will Warner Bros. be interested in going down that road again so soon?

Hugo Strange

Why he’s the right choice: In the comics, Hugo Strange was one of Batman’s first recurring villains (predating, in fact, every other character on this list). I’d argue there’s potential in a movie version of Strange based on his portrayal as Arkham Asylum’s Batman-obsessed Chief Psychologist in The Batman. In past stories, Hugo Strange has used his training as a psychologist to deduce Batman’s secret identity, which would certainly raise the stakes in a Dark Knight sequel.

Except: Compared to many characters on this list, Hugo Strange is perhaps too unfamiliar to casual fans. That being said, Ra’s al Ghul was fairly obscure, too — until he appeared in Batman Begins.

The Riddler

Why he’s the right choice: As one of the more prominent members of Batman’s rogues gallery, Riddler’s convoluted crime sprees put the Dark Knight’s intellect — as opposed to his physical prowess or high-tech gadgetry — to the test. Featuring the Riddler as the next film’s villain would give Batman a chance to live up to his reputation as the World’s Greatest Detective.

Except: While Riddler is certainly a more cerebral foe than most other Bat-villains, his traditional portrayal as a giggling madman in a question-mark suit (favored by Frank Gorshin in 1960s television series and Jim Carrey in Batman Forever) might not fit with the more serious tone set by Nolan’s Bat-films. That being said, I could see the Riddler “reimagined” as a Se7en-esque serial killer with a deep-seated compulsion to leave behind clues that ultimately lead to his own capture.

Harley Quinn

Why she’s the right choice: First introduced in Batman: The Animated Series, Harley Quinn is the Joker’s much put-upon Girl Friday. A film version of Harley — perhaps a psychiatrist driven mad by her obsession with the Joker after his chaotic appearance in Gotham — could seek revenge against the Batman for incarcerating her beloved “Mister J.” Harley Quinn would not only add a much-needed female presence to the Dark Knight sequel, but also inject a little madcap humor into the franchise.

Except: Unfortunately, Harley Quinn’s presence in there Dark Knight sequel would only underscore the absence of Heath Ledger as the Joker.

The Ventriloquist

Why she’s the right choice: You want twisted? How about a seemingly mild-mannered guy who plans and commits crimes through his domineering ventriloquist dummy, a self-styled 1920s gangster nicknamed Scarface? The whole “multiple personality” angle could make for a fascinating storyline as we witness Scarface moving up through the ranks to become the new boss of Gotham City’s criminal underworld.

Except: The Ventriloquist is a character who worked incredibly well on Batman: The Animated Series, but I have a feeling that any live-action version of the character would come across as totally corny.

The Penguin

Why he’s the right choice: Forget the bizarre sewer mutant portrayed by Danny DeVito in Batman Returns. The Penguin is a high-society criminal — a mobster with a penchant for trick umbrellas. In recent years, he has been portrayed in the comics as the owner of a nightclub (the Iceberg Lounge) and a source of information on the Gotham City underworld.

Except: Like Catwoman, scriptwriter David Goyer has also expressed reluctance to include the Penguin in the Dark Knight sequel. If an appearance as the villain in the Dark Knight sequel is out of the question, perhaps a small role as an informant could work.

Talia al Ghul

Why she’s the right choice: Ra’s al Ghul’s daughter Talia has long been a fixture in the comics — typically portrayed as a love interest for Batman, torn between her attraction to the Caped Crusader and her devotion to her father. Again, the next film needs a female presence , and a “Batman falls in love with the daughter of one of his greatest enemies” subplot certainly opens up intriguing storytelling possibilities.

Except: It could prove difficult to incorporate Talia al Ghul into a Dark Knight sequel without resurrecting her father, as well. Of course, this is a good time to remember the cardinal rule of comic book deaths: if we didn’t see the corpse, Ra’s al Ghul probably isn’t dead.

Mr. Freeze

Why he’s the right choice: With his terminally-ill wife trapped in a cryogenic deep-freeze while he searches for a cure for her condition, Mr. Freeze could certain bring pathos to a Dark Knight sequel. Furthermore, Mr. Freeze’s ice gun presents an excellent opportunity to run wild with special effects as he battles Batman.

Except: A dude with a freeze ray and a refrigeration suit? That’s a little hard to swallow in the context of Nolan’s more down-to-earth interpretation of the Batman mythos. Besides, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s performance in Batman & Robin still hangs around the character’s neck like a frozen albatross. “Ice to see you!”

Poison Ivy

Why she’s the right choice: As noted, the Batman films are in need of more female characters, and Poison Ivy could certainly fill that void. I’d love to see Tilda Swinton step into the role, discarding the bad Mae West impression Uma Thurman adopted for the character in Batman & Robin and instead playing Ivy as a truly sinister foe for the Batman.

Except: She appeared in Batman & Robin (never a good thing). Furthermore, her ability to telepathically control plants stretches a bit beyond the realm of believability. That being said, a more realistic turn as a plant-loving eco-terrorist could strike the right tone for a Dark Knight sequel.

Killer Croc

Why he’s the right choice: He’s big. He’s strong. He’s certainly a physical threat to Batman.

Except: He’s a crocodile/human hybrid. That’s a bit of a stretch for the more realistic vibe Nolan has pursued in the first two Nolan films. It would take a serious revamping to make Croc work in a Dark Knight sequel. Maybe a low-level thug with filed-down teeth and a bad skin condition?

Hush

Why he’s the right choice: A relatively new addition to the Batman mythos, Hush is Dr. Thomas Elliot — once Bruce Wayne’s childhood friend, now his bitter enemy. Unlike most other villains included in this list, Hush is dedicated not to defeating the Batman, but rather to destroying Bruce Wayne’s life. It’s a unique twist that, coupled with Hush’s striking visuals (the character is portrayed in the comics with a trenchcoat and bandaged face), could translate quite well to a Dark Knight sequel.

Except: He’s a rather obscure character who’s never been adapted to any medium outside of the Batman comics. That being said, the audience’s lack of familiarity with Hush gives the filmmakers a blank slate to tweak the character as they sees fit.

Bane

Why he’s the right choice: Batman & Robin dropped the ball in its portrayal of the muscle-bound Bane. Big surprise, right? Not only is Bane Batman’s physical superior, he’s also a cunning, intelligent foe — not some lumbering oaf that can barely string together a sentence. His strength enhanced by the drug Venom, Bane even managed to break Batman’s back during the “Knightfall” storyline of the early 1990s. Playing up the Venom angle, a reimagined film version of Bane could be responsible for spreading a dangerous new drug to Gotham City…requiring Batman to intercede.

Except: Visually, Bane would need to be toned down somewhat to fit into a Dark Knight sequel. Muscles on top of muscles, squeezed into singlet, and topped off with a mask that’s one part luchador and one fetish gear might be a little hard to reconcile. Also, like Poison Ivy and Mr. Freeze, the Batman & Robin taint still lingers on Bane eleven years later.

The Mad Hatter

Why he’s the right choice: Batman: The Animated Series worked wonders with its dark portrayal of this second-tier Bat-villain. Jervis Tetch is a brilliant neural engineer who develops sophisticated mind-control technology and puts it to use for his own gain. Taking a cue from Lewis Carroll’s Wonderland novels, he dubs himself the Mad Hatter and embarks on a life of crime.

Except: While there’s an inherent creepiness to a guy with mind control powers and an obsession with Alice in Wonderland, the Mad Hatter would likely feel out of place in Nolan’s grittier Gotham City. I suspect he’s the kind of character who just wouldn’t work in live action. Then again, is he really any sillier than the Scarecrow?

Man-Bat

Why he’s the right choice: In terms of action-packed setpieces, what could top seeing Batman locked in aerial combat with Dr. Kirk Langstrom, the monstrous Man-Bat, high above the streets of Gotham City?

Except: Same deal as Killer Croc — how do you work a bat/human hybrid into what’s been a somewhat realistic crime drama to this point?

Clayface

Why he’s the right choice: With his shapeshifting powers, Clayface is one of Batman’s most visually-compelling foes.

Except: Clayface is also one of Batman’s most far-fetched foes. Based on the tone set by Nolan in his first two Batman films, I can’t imagine Clayface fitting into the franchise (unless he’s revamped virtually beyond recognition).

Holiday

Why he’s the right choice: Considering the focus on Gotham City’s organized crime families thus far in Nolan’s Batman films, a mysterious figure who murders a series of mafiosi over the course of a year — striking each time on a different holiday — could fit right in with the franchise’s tone. Moreover, Holiday would present an opportunity for Batman to play detective as he attempts to deduce the killer’s identity.

Except: Having appeared only in the Jeph Loeb’s Batman: The Long Halloween, Holiday is another low-profile Bat-villain, unfamiliar to most moviegoers. Plus, it would be difficult to build and maintain suspense in a narrative stretched out over the course of an entire year.

Lex Luthor

Why he’s the right choice: In the comics these days, Lex Luthor is no longer portrayed as a mad scientist intent on taking over the world. Instead, he’s one of the world’s wealthiest and most powerful men. In turn, Luthor in a position to serve as a worthy adversary to both Batman and Bruce Wayne.

Except: He’s Superman’s archenemy. As much fun as it might be watching LexCorp and Wayne Enterprises face off on the big screen, inserting Luthor into the Batman franchise also risks contamination via a possible Brandon Routh cameo. And that’s the last thing we want, right?

Is Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight the best superhero film of all time? I’ve mulled it over since seeing the movie on Saturday, and I’m inclined to say “yes.” Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker is just as devilishly brilliant as all the critics have said — if not better. Oh, and Aaron Eckhart is no slouch either, bringing genuine pathos to the role of Harvey Dent. Everything just falls into place in The Dark Knight. Even Maggie Gyllenhaal is a significant upgrade over Katie Holmes in the role of Rachel Dawes; too bad she ends up the latest victim of the Women in Refrigerators Syndrome.

My only gripe? There were a few scenes where Christian Bale’s raspy “I’m Batman!” voice went so far over the top that it became unintentionally hilarious. Could someone please get that man a throat lozenge?

So, I’ve written about my favorite superhero movies before, but here’s my updated list…

My Top Ten Favorite Superhero Movies:

 
What did you think of The Dark Knight? Does it rank among your favorite superhero flicks?

 
Clockwise from the upper left, that’s Eric Bana as Nero, Zoë Saldana as Uhura, Chris Pine as Kirk, and Zachary Quinto as Mr. Spock. TrekMovie.com has more details about the exclusive Star Trek posters debuting at next week’s Comic Con in San Diego; high-res wallpapers are available at the film’s official website.

Okay, I’m officially getting psyched. Is it 2009 yet?

I’m extending a free pass to anything by the Monkees or Neil Diamond, because both acts are kinda awesome (in spite of their cheesiness). Yes, I’ll cop to having an Ashlee Simpson song on my iPod (the Timbaland-produced “Outta My Head”), as well as Avril Lavigne’s insipid “Girlfriend.” Oh, and I’m not ashamed of Digital Underground’s “The Humpty Dance,” Shakira’s’ “Whenever, Wherever,” or Justin Timberlake’s “Rock Your Body.” Well, not too ashamed.

No, the worst song on my iPod is also quite possibly the worst song in human history: “My Humps.” Yes, I actually paid 99¢ to download this disturbing ode to Fergie’s “lovely lady lumps” from the iTunes store. Why? I had an iTunes gift card, and it seemed like a good idea at the time. According to iTunes, I’ve listened to the song 28 times so far. Let’s see…if my IQ drops by approximately one point every time I hear “My Humps,” I should be able to continue functioning for at least another week or two.

Sure, there’s plenty of decent music on my iPod from artists like the Beatles, Sufjan Stevens, Belle and Sebastian, Rilo Kiley, Bob Dylan, Feist, the White Stripes, Nellie McKay, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Paul Simon, Radiohead, and the Shins. But, “My Humps” is on there; I can’t pretend it’s not. What does that say about me? I’m not sure I want to know.

So, what’s the worst song in your music collection? Go ahead and share; there’s plenty of catharsis to go around!

 
Just a few more days until The Dark Knight…