The Ten Best Superhero Movies of All Time

Posted on May 2, 2007

To celebrate the premiere of Spider-Man 3 this Friday, I thought I’d count down the top ten superhero movies of all time. Enjoy — and feel free to disagree in the comments section.

10. Blade

Vampires, sword fights, kung fu, more vampires — Blade is an excellent example of how to make a fun popcorn movie out of a relatively obscure, second-string character. A far better film than one might expect, Blade laid the groundwork for the superhero movie revival that began in the early 2000s.

9. Batman (1966)

Say what you will about the Batman series of the 1960s, but I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for Adam West’s campy portrayal of the Not-So-Dark Knight. This movie was released to theaters between the series’ first and second seasons, and features the Joker, the Penguin, Catwoman, and the Riddler teaming up to defeat the Dynamic Duo once and for all. This film also marked the debut of the handiest tool in Batman’s utility belt: the Bat Shark Repellent Spray.

8. Superman II

Why Superman II and not the original Superman? In my mind, there’s one thing that separates this 1980 sequel from the first installment in the series: the inclusion actual supervillains for Big Blue to fight. The Phantom Zone criminals give Supes a run for his money, making this the most enjoyable film in the series. Kneel before Zod!

7. X-Men

The whole “Magneto builds a machine to transform world leaders into mutants” storyline was a little corny, but the casting and characterization is so spot-on that it more than makes up for it. Ian McKellen and Hugh Jackman are especially well suited to their respective roles as Magneto and Wolverine. If only they had cast someone — anyone — other than Halle Berry as Storm.

6. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm

A film spun off from Batman: The Animated Series in 1993, Mask of the Phantasm far exceeds the Burton-era Batman films in terms of story quality and characterization. Worth checking out for Mark Hamill’s portrayal of the Joker alone.

5. X2: X-Men United

An improvement over the first X-Men film in almost every way. The story is far more engaging this time around — the X-Men and Magneto join forces to stop Col. William Stryker from decimating the mutant population — and the addition of Alan Cumming as Nightcrawler is a fanboy’s dream come true.

4. Spider-Man

Sam Raimi understands that what makes Spider-Man such a classic character isn’t the suit or the powers, but rather the kid under the mask. Peter Parker is a typical teenager who finds himself gifted with strange powers following a freak lab accident. When Peter’s inaction leads indirectly to his Uncle Ben’s death, he realizes that with great power comes great responsibility and dedicates himself to fighting crime as Spider-Man. What more could you ask for in a superhero origin? Throw in an inspired casting choice in the person of Tobey Maguire, and you have all the components of an outstanding superhero film.

3. The Incredibles

It’s almost a shame that Pixar managed to produce the perfect Fantastic Four movie before Marvel even had a chance.

2. Batman Begins

Dark, but not in that goofy “Tim Burton” way. Batman Begins strips the Batman mythos down to the brass tacks, while Christian Bale offers the most compelling live-action incarnation of the Dark Knight ever to grace the screen. Round out the cast with strong performances from Michael Caine as Alfred, Gary Oldman as Commissioner Gordon, and Liam Neeson as the villainous Ra’s al Ghul, and Batman Begins truly raises the bar for superhero movies.

1. Spider-Man 2

With the first film’s origin story out of the way, Spider-Man 2 jumps straight to the superheroics. Doctor Octopus is a far more interesting villain for Spidey’s second outing, and Peter’s struggle with bearing the mantle of Spider-Man evokes some of the finest moments from the comic book source material. The end result is what I consider the best superhero movie ever made.

Be sure to tune in Friday when I continue the celebration by counting down the ten worst superhero films of all time!

Mousetrap

Posted on April 25, 2007

I’m a little obsessive compulsive at times, and for whatever reason, it really flares up whenever I’m shopping for a new computer mouse. I just get totally fixated on finding the perfect mouse. Unfortunately, I have a cripplingly narrow definition of what qualifies as “perfect.”

First, it has to be corded. I don’t trust cordless mice; it just seems wrong somehow. Second, it has to have a clicky scroll wheel. Smooth scroll wheels drive me nuts. Third, the mouse can’t have any extraneous buttons. I don’t want to become reliant on some wacky feature that only my mouse has and then find myself frustrated every time I have to use a “normal” mouse without that special button. Fourth, I really prefer Microsoft and Logitech mice. I’ve had bad luck with every other company I’ve tried. Fifth, it can’t be too big. I have tiny hands (like a carny). Finally, it has to be cheap. I’m not paying more than $39.99 for a mouse. Ever.

In the words of Bill Cosby, I told you that story so I could tell you this one. My trusty mouse bought the farm yesterday. The left button jammed, and my best efforts to repair it — using the little built-in file on a pair of toenail clippers — failed. As usual, I immediately transformed into Obsessive Compulsive Jess and began the Great Mouse Hunt of 2007. My three hours (!) of shopping included stops at:

      1. Wal-Mart
      2. Target
      3. Circuit City
      4. Best Buy
      5. OfficeMax
      6. Office Depot
      7. Target (again)

At each store, I spent ten or fifteen minutes fondling their display mice, trying to find that perfect mouse. When my trek around town finally ended, I still didn’t have a mouse. In fact, I more or less gave up on finding one. Maybe I’d just wait a few months until new new models hit the shelves. In the meantime, I could practice my Windows keyboard shortcuts.

After ruminating on a mouseless future for a few hours, however, I decided to give it one more try. I went back to Best Buy and bought the opposite of my ideal mouse — a big, cordless Kensington mouse with all kinds of extra buttons. I figured it would be cathartic and maybe help me let go of this mouse obsession. So far, I’m pleased with the outcome. Of course, I cheated a little and still went for a clicky scroll wheel. There are some principles you just can’t compromise.

Oops! I almost forgot to blame my broken mouse for the dearth of new content here at Apropos of Something over the past two weeks. Yeah, broken mouse…that’s the ticket.

UPDATE: The “cathartic” mouse lasted less than 24 hours. My anal retentiveness, however, wasn’t the culprit. It seems the mouse tended to recognize right clicks as left clicks and vice versa. So, I exchanged it this afternoon for a Microsoft wireless mouse…which doesn’t work either. With the wireless receiver literally less than a foot from the mouse, it barely registers. So, now it’s back to Best Buy to make my second mouse exchange of the day. It’s a good thing I really have nothing better to do with my time.

UPDATE #2: I finally settled on a Logitech LX7 cordless mouse. I’m pleased with the performance, and all is right with the world. The Great Mouse Hunt of 2007 is at an end!

World of Warcraft: One Year Clean and Sober

Posted on April 13, 2007

Hello. My name is Jess, and I’m a recovering WoWoholic.

(”Hi, Jess!”)

Today marks the one year anniversary since I last played World of Warcraft, and it feels good to be clean. It didn’t seem like such a big deal at the time, but hindsight being what it is, I now realize that I had a serious addiction to the game. Before we went cold turkey, my wife and I were spending virtually all our free time adventuring in Azeroth. Oh, I never kept close track of the time we spent playing WoW each week, but I’m sure it approached thirty hours or more during particularly “busy” weeks.

It was a hardcore addiction. When I wasn’t playing Warcraft, I was thinking about Warcraft. My wife and I were both officers in our guild; we were in charge of scheduling the group’s nightly dungeon raids. Most of the people we considered friends were people with whom we played regularly in WoW. On one occasion, we even met up with our guildmates in real life for a cookout. Of course, we spent most of the cookout talking about Warcraft.

So, yeah — World of Warcraft pretty much consumed my life for the better part of a year. It’s probably not a coincidence that I also stopped blogging during that year. Who has time to blog when you could be standing around Ironforge trying to sell a nifty glowing sword you looted from a dragon the night before?

I’m not sure how it happened, but a year ago today, my wife and I just decided we weren’t going to play anymore. We still enjoyed the game, but something deep inside said that it was time to leave it behind. So, we said goodbye to our friends, logged off from World of Warcraft, and never logged on again. Still, there are lingering reminders of that year we spent in Azeroth:

Here’s to one year of World of Warcraft sobriety! Huzzah!

I’m so geeky that…

Posted on February 9, 2007

…I staked out my local Wal-Mart on August 24, 1995, for the midnight release of Windows 95. What can I say? I was really excited about an integrated TCP/IP protocol at the time.

Feel free to play along in the comments. “I’m so geeky that…”

Hunka hunka frozen Gungan

Posted on February 2, 2007

I can’t decide which is more awesome: Stormtrooper Elvis or Jar Jar Binks frozen in carbonite. Sure, the Jar Jar model probably required hours and hours to construct, but he’s Stormtrooper Elvis!

What, no slave girl Leia?

Posted on November 28, 2006

Counting down the twenty sexiest women in sci-fi. In my defense, only seven currently hold restraining orders against me.

I’ll get you someday, Soda Popinski!

Posted on October 24, 2006

You know what’s depressing? After almost two decades of practice, I’m no better at video games today than I was as a ten-year-old.

When I was ten, one of my favorite Nintendo games was Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! I was never particularly good at the game. Success required good timing and the ability to discern your opponents’ patterns of attack — neither of which was my strong suit as a kid. No matter how many times I tried, I could never beat Soda Popinski (pictured right with his bubble-gum pink skin). After much frustration, I gave up and moved on to other NES games. But Soda Popinski still haunted me.

A couple of days ago, I decided I would take another crack at Punch-Out — just for old times’ sake. I was amazed at how quickly it all came back to me after almost twenty years. I worked my way up through the ranks until I finally reached my old archnemesis, Soda Popinski. BAM! He knocked me out in the first round. I tried again. And again. No luck. I still can’t beat Soda Popinski.

I’ve logged well over a thousand hours playing video games since I last faced Soda Popinski, and I still can’t beat him?!? And it’s not that I’m rusty; I zipped through the first eight or nine Punch-Out opponents in record time. I just can’t beat Soda Popinksi. With all that practice through the years, am I really not any better at video games than when I was a kid? What have I done with my life?

Hell, I’ve been trying to beat Soda Popinski for so long that the country he represents (the USSR) doesn’t even exist anymore.

I tried explaining the dilemma to my wife, and this is what she came up with: “Honey, why don’t you just play Galaga instead? You’re good at that, and it always makes you happy.”

Man, sometimes she just doesn’t get it.

Up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-Start

Posted on October 2, 2006

Play nearly 300 classic NES games from your web browser! Better get your Mario fix before the cease and desist arrives.

Bad science + bad fiction = bad science fiction

Posted on September 27, 2006

Tired Science Fiction Tropes That Must Be Retired: Part 1 & Part 2.

Note to self…

Posted on September 21, 2006

Holding the plastic toy guitar below your waist and playing it punk-rocker style doesn’t make you look cool. You’re still a grown-ass man playing the Guitar Hero demo at Best Buy. Live with it.

Summon the finest bakers in the Mushroom Kingdom!

Posted on September 18, 2006

A gorgeous Super Mario Brothers wedding cake. If I ever get married again, I’m totally having a Kid Icarus cake. (via)

An all too typical conversation

Posted on September 5, 2006

The scene: My wife and I are watching Superman: The Animated Series. Superman is fighting a giant robot.

Her: Why doesn’t he just use his laser-beam eyes and fry the robot’s circuits?

Me: I believe the preferred term is “heat vision,” not “laser-beam eyes.”

Her: Whatever.

Me: Well, maybe it takes a lot of concentration for Superman to use his heat vision, so it’s not really practical in the middle of a battle.

Her: All I’m saying is that if I had laser-beam eyes, I’d be using them all the time. Like, the first time Lex Luthor messed with me, I’d fly over to his lair and give him a laser-beam eye lobotomy.

Me: Well, I guess it’s a good thing you don’t have laser-beam eyes, then.

Her: Yeah, for you maybe.

Fin

*Cue the theme from The Greatest American Hero*

Posted on August 23, 2006

Wuddup wuddup wuddup Apropos readers!! Fuzzball here, kickin’ it in my first guest-blogging gig! I will now stop talking like a ghetto mama. Word. Okay that was the last one I swear.

As Jess said, I am Tracy aka Fuzzball. My personal blog is Laugh It Up, Fuzzball, where you’ll catch me ranting about stupid people and geeking out on a regular basis. I have a theory that instead of maturing into a woman I’m somehow de-maturing (help me out here, what would be the right word, regressing?) into a nerdy adolescent boy…from the early ’80s. Yes, I love Star Wars, web cartoonists, Star Trek, graphic novels, vintage Hanna-Barbera cartoons…you get the idea. I draw the line at D&D, though, so drop that 20-sided die and forget about making me your paladin elf or whatever the hell it is.

Um let’s see what else. Hey, I know. I’ll just give you the blurb that I have on LIUF:

One question I hear more than any other is What’s a Fuzzball?? Allow me to explain:

A Fuzzball is a 29-year-old fallen belle who lives in Houston, TX with a bossy dog and an even bossier parrot who she SWEARS is the reincarnation of Napoleon Bonaparte.

A Fuzzball prefers animals to most people, because people can really suck sometimes.

A Fuzzball loves music, ALL music ALL of the time. If she’s not listening to it, then she’s singing it.

A Fuzzball has a mad love for all things British, especially their actors.

A Fuzzball is blissfully happy in a bookstore, preferably one with good music playing in the background. If you look under a Fuzzball’s bed you’ll usually find an entire library of books that she has dropped there after falling asleep reading.

Fuzzballs are usually incurable romantics, ridiculously optimistic, and bent on making the world a happier place.

Your typical Fuzzball will probably have a completely bizarre sense of humor. Just go with it, it will take you to funny places.

You should also be aware that Fuzzballs are giant nerds. Seriously. Science fiction, computers, the whole shebang.

Oh…and you can also look for a Fuzzball in one of the best movies ever made.

It’s-a me, Mario!

Posted on August 22, 2006

A YouTube tribute to portobello-popping plumber we all know and love.

Remember, kids — there’s no enemy you can’t defeat if you jump on its head enough times.

Reason #92 why World of Warcraft is better than real life

Posted on July 21, 2005

What’s great about games like World of Warcraft is that there’s an incentive structure built into literally everything you do. Kill a bad guy, get a reward. Finish a quest, get a reward. Discover a new area, get a reward. Sadly, real life doesn’t measure up. In fact, there’s not much incentive to do anything in real life.

For instance, my wife and I are moving into a new townhouse next weekend. In real life, all we’ll come away with from the experience are a couple of sore backs and the satisfaction of having all of our junk piled in a different place than it was the day before. Big whoop.

If this were World of Warcraft, however, we’d be charged with escorting our precious cargo to New Townhouseshire and probably slaying any undead we encountered along the way. Oh, and the future of the Alliance would of course depend on the cargo’s safe delivery. If we successfully completed the quest, we’d both get like 5,800 experience points and an enchanted broadsword with +7 Agility.

As it stands, I don’t even have a sword in real life — much less an enchanted one.

That’s Reason #92 why World of Warcraft is better than real life.

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