An Exercise in Ass-Covering (Or, This Job Is Killing Me)

Posted on December 19, 2008 @ 11:07 am

maskSo, I was sitting in my office yesterday, submitting my final grades for the semester, when noxious fumes began to emit from the ceiling vent above my desk. Thirty seconds later, I was feeling dizzy and spilled out into the hallway for some fresh air.

To my surprise, I bumped into a woman standing right outside my office door and wearing an expensive suit that practically screamed “Legal Professional.”

“Dr. Apropos?” she inquired.
“We just wanted to inform you that we’re performing some routine maintenance on the furnace today and let you know that you might detect a faint odor in your office as a result.”
“Yeah, I noticed. Are the fumes dangerous?”
“We don’t have any reason to think so, sir.”
“So, is this some kind of liability thing? Is the university officially informing me of the fumes to avoid any potential lawsuits in case I keel over due to exposure?”
“No, sir. We just wanted to let you know and see if you had any questions.”
“But the fumes aren’t dangerous?”
“We don’t have any reason to think so.”
“You said that before — and it’s not exactly reassuring.”
“I’m sorry, Dr. Apropos, but we need to speak to a few more professors in the building. Have a nice day.”

So, yeah…I imagine I have a few more hours to live (at most). It’s been grand!

Posted by Jess | Filed Under Tales from the Classroom |

7 comments so far...

  1. yoshi December 19, 2008 12:26 pm

    that is indeed scary! maybe they were putting some mind control gas in the vents!

  2. Daniel Louden December 19, 2008 6:59 pm

    What school is this? I only ask because I’m looking at graduate programs and I need to either cross this one out or put it at the top of the list depending on what these gases turn out to be.

  3. Fritz December 20, 2008 3:21 pm

    The same thing happened in my office a couple of years ago. They notified us via e-mail.

    The same office was flooded with the smell of microwave popcorn from the breakroom downstairs every day at 3:00. That was worse because I always arrived home from work hungry.

  4. Greg December 24, 2008 11:20 am

    Ha. Good to know they’re concerned about your health. Seems slightly unprofessional…The best I’ve got is an administrator who asked me to buy him pants:

  5. Danny January 7, 2009 9:41 pm

    So, I assume the worst?

  6. Iain January 18, 2009 2:11 am

    3 days left! Lost-vivor would be awkwardly done without you.

  7. Babs January 21, 2009 6:09 pm

    Ok, we’ve waited long enough Any warmup for Lostvivor tonight?

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