The Adventures of a Girl Who’s, Like, Totally Old Enough
Posted on August 21, 2008 @ 1:01 pm
A play in one act, inspired by my most recent trip to the movies.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: Two tickets for Tropic Thunder, please.
Box Office Worker: That will be fourteen dollars. And I’ll need to see your ID, please.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: My ID? Why?
Box Office Worker: It’s rated R. You need to be either 17 or be accompanied by an adult.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: Oh, well, I’m afraid I don’t have my ID with me today. [Turning to her friend, who's maybe 12, tops.] Do you have your ID with you?
Her Friend, Who’s Maybe 12, Tops: Um…no. Let’s just go see something else.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: I wish they would hurry up and mail me my new ID.
Box Office Worker: Who? Who do you wish would mail your new ID?
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: Er…the state. Like, the DMV. I’m waiting for my new ID that says I’m 17.
Her Friend, Who’s Maybe 12, Tops: Let’s just get out of here, Katie.
Box Office Worker: Look, would you like to buy a ticket for another movie? There are people waiting.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: [Whispering to her Friend, loudly enough that anyone in a five-foot radius could easily hear.] Let’s just get a ticket to something else and then, like, sneak into Tropic Thunder. [To the Box Office Worker.] Yes, since my new ID hasn’t arrived yet, I believe I will buy two tickets for…Pineapple Express.
Box Office Worker: That’s rated R, too.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: Fine! Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, okay?
Box Office Worker: That’s two tickets for Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. Enjoy your movie.
Box Office Worker: That will be fourteen dollars. And I’ll need to see your ID, please.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: My ID? Why?
Box Office Worker: It’s rated R. You need to be either 17 or be accompanied by an adult.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: Oh, well, I’m afraid I don’t have my ID with me today. [Turning to her friend, who's maybe 12, tops.] Do you have your ID with you?
Her Friend, Who’s Maybe 12, Tops: Um…no. Let’s just go see something else.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: I wish they would hurry up and mail me my new ID.
Box Office Worker: Who? Who do you wish would mail your new ID?
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: Er…the state. Like, the DMV. I’m waiting for my new ID that says I’m 17.
Her Friend, Who’s Maybe 12, Tops: Let’s just get out of here, Katie.
Box Office Worker: Look, would you like to buy a ticket for another movie? There are people waiting.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: [Whispering to her Friend, loudly enough that anyone in a five-foot radius could easily hear.] Let’s just get a ticket to something else and then, like, sneak into Tropic Thunder. [To the Box Office Worker.] Yes, since my new ID hasn’t arrived yet, I believe I will buy two tickets for…Pineapple Express.
Box Office Worker: That’s rated R, too.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: Fine! Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, okay?
Box Office Worker: That’s two tickets for Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. Enjoy your movie.
FIN.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Random Musings |
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i don’t know which i love more. the play or the fake ID. eh. why choose. i can love them both equally.
also, this is why i go to the movies as ealy as possible on Saturday mornings. eliminates the run ins with the kiddies who have no sense.
haha, well i’m impressed that the clerk even bothered to ask for an ID. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been sitting in a theatre and thought that some of the kids were way too young.
Is this girl also a member of China’s gymnastic team? Just wondering.
The Dark Knight is rated PG-13.
@Andy: Oops! Disregard that part. This is what happens when eavesdropping fails and I have to fill in a few of the remaining details myself.
Bravo on the play! Can’t wait to see the Broadway version!
I’ve been carded at the movies before but unlike those kids, I am over 17 lol
This may be where movies like the Sisterhood get all their box office.
I think that last bit where they’re whispering sounds like an ideal musical number.
i remember going to see scrooged, which was pg13 when i was 12. i was scared to death to get “caught”. Boy that was forever ago.