“Help! My house smells too delightful!” (Intervention)
Posted on August 4, 2008 @ 9:19 am
I’m afraid my obsession with scented candles has finally spiraled out of control. The tipping point may very well have been this phone call I received yesterday.
Mark: Hi! This is Mark from Yankee Candle. May I speak with Jess, please?
Me: This is Jess.
Mark: Oh. <slight pause> Hi, Jess! I just wanted to call and let you know that Yankee Candle will be debuting its new autumn fragrances in a few weeks. We’re throwing an in-store party to celebrate, and since you’re a frequent customer here at Yankee Candle, I wanted to invite you to join us.
Me: Uh…okay. Thanks.
Mark: Great! Hope to see you there!
I think it’s safe to assume that Mark’s conversational pause was due to his surprise that, of all the “frequent customers” he’d been asked to call, I was the first one who turned out to be a dude. And with such a misleading name, too!
Nevertheless, the call speaks to a deeper problem — my aforementioned obsession with scented candles. In response to the escalating nature of the situation, I’m officially declaring a personal six-month moratorium on all candle purchases. For the next six months, I won’t buy any new candles and will only burn existing candles from my (admittedly substantial) stockpile. That’s unless somebody gives me a Yankee Candle gift card for Christmas — you know, because then it would be rude not to spend it.
Hmm…so, what does one wear to a candle-sniffing party?
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Life in a Nutshell |
8 comments so far...
Leave a Comment
If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.
OMG. I am so jealous. I LURVE candles.
Totally need to switch to Cross Creek Candle Co.. Their candles are nicer and burn really, really clean. A lot less wax builds up unburned compared to Yankee candles, too.
And you wear the black turtle neck and blue jeans like Steve Jobs.
Great story. Love it on a deep level since I, too, am obsessed with candles, but, apparently, not as much as you.
You realize of course, that you never actually burn the candles until you have a lot of backup.
A turtleneck would be very posh for the event.
I feel for you sir. I too love candles and I love the way they smell and I have been known to spend some time in a Bath and Body Works just going from bottle to bottle trying to discern which one smells better and have you ever tried the sugar scrubs they have there?
…
Perhaps I have shared too much.
My friend Tom is equally obsessed with scented candles. Not only does he buy them, he makes them as a hobby.
He gave me one he’d made last Christmas and when I left it lit for a few hours it actually EXPLODED! There was glass and red wax all over my livingroom carpet. That sure cured me from wanting scented candles in my house.
BURN, BABY, BURN!!!
I think one whiff of something like a Jones Soda-esque “Brussels Sprouts and Gravy” candle would cure you. Sometimes drastic measures are necessary.
I can’t even walk into one of those places, especially yankee candle. The amalgamated fragrances of citrovanillamintamon and nutmegardenapplavender make me want to retch. Sometimes it makes the synaesthesia kick in.