“Star Wars: The Clone Wars” Review

Posted on August 18, 2008

 
I remember the exact moment that I completely lost faith in the Star Wars prequels. It was during the climactic arena battle in Attack of the Clones, while R2D2 dragged C-3PO’s detached head back to his gold-plated droid body. That’s when Threepio groaned, in his inimitable manner, “This is such a drag.” Get it? Drag? Oh, George — you’re such a kidder!

Over the past few years, however, my opinion on the prequel trilogy has softened considerably. I’ve steadily grown to appreciate the intricacies of Palpatine’s grand plot to overthrow the Republic, Ewan McGregor’s charming performance as Obi-Wan Kenobi, the understated menace of Christopher Lee’s Count Dooku, the spectacular lightsaber duels, the gorgeous special effects…I’ve even made peace with Jar Jar Binks (almost). No, the prequels aren’t perfect. No, they don’t live up to the Original Trilogy. Nevertheless, there are some pretty decent Star Wars moments lurking in Episodes I through III.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars is Lucas’ latest entry in the Star Wars saga, a CGI-animated flick set between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. Essentially a theatrical pilot for the upcoming television series of the same name, The Clone Wars has been met with dismal reviews from critics and Star Wars fans alike. For instance, Linda Barnard of the Toronto Star raves, “Pretty much drives a stake into the heart of every loyal fan of the movies!”

Well, I’ve seen The Clone Wars…and it isn’t that bad. At least I didn’t think so. I’ll address some of the most common criticisms leveled at the film after the jump.

Criticism: Ahsoka Tano is the most annoying character since Jar Jar.

Yes, Anakin Skywalker’s new padawan seems compelled to contribute a clever little quip after every line of dialogue and insists on referring to her master as “Skyguy.” Nevertheless, I found Ahsoka Tano to be a compelling and mostly likeable character. While we’ve seen female Jedi standing around in the background of previous Star Wars films, it’s about time one took center stage for a change. That being said, one can’t help but wonder if something bad is going to happen to Ahsoka sooner or later (considering she’s not seen in Episode III), thus pushing Anakin even closer to the Dark Side. For the time being, however, the brash Skywalker and inexperienced Tano make for a fun Jedi duo.

 
Criticism: The animation is cruddy.

I’m sure George Lucas would be the first to admit that The Clone Wars doesn’t boast Pixar-quality animation. The highly-stylized characters feel a bit lifeless at times, and their movement often appears jerky and unnatural. Moreover, certain character designs (e.g. Count Dooku) look better than others (e.g. Mace Windu). Even so, many of the action sequences in The Clone Wars are downright stunning. For example, the film opens with an intense ground battle that plays like something out of a sci-fi version of Saving Private Ryan, pitting a squad of clone troopers against an army of battle droids. The lightsaber battles are also definite highlights.

 
Criticism: The plot feels too episodic, like a television series.

I suspect this might have something to do with the fact that the movie is essentially the first three episodes of The Clone Wars series, combined to form a feature film. Lucas has been straightforward about this from the beginning, and honestly, it didn’t feel nearly as “chopped up” as I expected given the episodes’ theatrical repurposing.

 
Criticism: Ziro the Hutt is flamboyantly offensive/offensively flamboyant.

Imagine Original Trilogy baddie Jabba the Hutt. Now, imagine him talking just like Truman Capote. And wearing makeup. And a little peacock-feather headdress. Got it? Well, that’s Jabba’s uncle, Ziro the Hutt. Even if Ziro wasn’t quite as bad as some reviewers have made him out to be, I honestly have no idea what they were going for with this character.

 
Criticism: The storyline is inconsequential to the Star Wars saga as a whole.

That’s one of the challenges faced when you set out to tell Part Two-Point-Five of an already-completed six-part saga. We know none of the principle characters are going to die. We know there’s something vaguely sinister about that Chancellor Palpatine guy. We know there isn’t going to be a new love interest in Anakin Skywalker’s life. That being said, I thought the quest to secure the Hutt clan’s support in the war effort felt urgent enough to move the story along.

 
Criticism: It’s a stupid kids’ movie.

Just because a movie features a baby slug named Stinky the Hutt, that doesn’t mean it’s aimed at kids. Okay, maybe it does. That doesn’t mean it can’t still be fun, though.

 

 
Maybe it’s just me, but The Clone Wars didn’t seem like the franchise-killing train wreck so many reviewers and fans have made it out to be. Despite a few missteps (I’m looking at you, Ziro), the film offers high-impact action sequences along with some genuinely fun character moments that tap into that undeniable Star Wars charm. Furthermore, Sith apprentice Asajj Ventress is a darkly captivating villain who makes the most of her limited screen time, Christopher Lee once again strikes all the right chords as Dooku, and the actors providing the voices for Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Padmé turn in solid performances.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars may not measure up to Genndy Tartakovsky’s similarly-titled Star Wars: Clone Wars animated series from a few years back (much less the best moments of the Original Trilogy), but it’s a decent enough movie in a post-prequel world. If nothing else, it has me looking forward to the debut of the television series later this Fall…which, I suppose, was the entire point of the film in the first place.

The verdict: B-

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Do you take this…lobster-type thing to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Posted on August 17, 2008

Sometimes, seeing photos of another couple’s wedding makes me want to run out, book a venue, and renew my own vows. Case in point:

 
Just so we’re all on the same page here, that’s Admiral Ackbar of the Mon Calamari getting married to Rebel leader Mon Mothma. With Slave Girl Leia presiding. More details here.

Speaking of Star Wars, I should have my review of The Clone Wars posted tomorrow.

Apropos of Something: A year older, none the wiser

Posted on August 8, 2008

 
Woohoo! Today marks the fifth anniversary of Apropos of Something’s glorious launch, and I wanted to invite everyone out there in Internet Land to join me in quaffing the celebratory beverage of your choice (as long as it’s not Mountain Dew).

As the site’s banner proudly proclaims, I’ve been dispensing two-fisted justice here at Ye Olde Blog since 2003 — primarily in the form of movie reviews, geeky countdowns, remixed comic book panels, and overly-elaborate TV show recaps. Even scarier, I just realized this morning that I’ve been consistently publishing on the Internet in one form or another (webzines, fansites, blogs) for the past thirteen years. Just imagine what a more socially responsible individual could have accomplished during that same amount of time!

Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone who’s followed the site through the years. When I started blogging back in ‘03, I never imagined anyone would be interested in reading my inane ramblings. You guys make it fun, and I appreciate that you’ve stuck around — even through my brief infatuation with blogging about Britney Spears back in ‘07.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m heading off on vacation for the next few days. Regular posting will resume soon. Arrivederci!

Hello Kitty Contact Lenses

Posted on August 7, 2008

 
Hello Kitty will swallow your soul.

(via TokyoMango)

Ten Reasons Why the Clone Wars Series is Going to Rule

Posted on August 5, 2008

Ten Reasons Why the Clone Wars TV Series is Going to Rule. I’ll admit that I’m cautiously optimistic.

My Top Ten Films of 2008 (so far)

Posted on August 5, 2008

With the summer blockbuster season drawing to a close, this seems like an opportune time to look back at my ten favorite films released so far this year.

 
Although the summer is winding down, there are still plenty of flicks I’m looking forward to in 2008, including Pineapple Express (August 6), Tropic Thunder (August 15), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (August 15), Hamlet 2 (August 22), Burn After Reading (September 12), Zack and Miri Make a Porno (October 31), Quantum of Solace (November 7), and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (November 21).

What are your favorite films of 2008 so far, and what releases are you still anticipating?

“Help! My house smells too delightful!” (Intervention)

Posted on August 4, 2008

I’m afraid my obsession with scented candles has finally spiraled out of control. The tipping point may very well have been this phone call I received yesterday.

 
I think it’s safe to assume that Mark’s conversational pause was due to his surprise that, of all the “frequent customers” he’d been asked to call, I was the first one who turned out to be a dude. And with such a misleading name, too!

Nevertheless, the call speaks to a deeper problem — my aforementioned obsession with scented candles. In response to the escalating nature of the situation, I’m officially declaring a personal six-month moratorium on all candle purchases. For the next six months, I won’t buy any new candles and will only burn existing candles from my (admittedly substantial) stockpile. That’s unless somebody gives me a Yankee Candle gift card for Christmas — you know, because then it would be rude not to spend it.

Hmm…so, what does one wear to a candle-sniffing party?

King’s Quest XXXXVIII: Quest for Disk Space

Posted on August 2, 2008

A YouTube channel full of rare promotional clips, demos, and behind-the-scenes videos featuring such Sierra On-Line adventure game classics as King’s Quest, Space Quest, and Leisure Suit Larry.

Bowser’s Minions

Posted on August 1, 2008

 
It’s about time the foes from Super Mario Bros. 2 got their due!

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