Lost-vivor: “Cabin Fever”

Posted on May 8, 2008 @ 11:40 pm

Lost-vivor

Welcome to Lost-vivor — all the mystery and adventure of Lost with an added dash of Survivor-style competition! Please note that the section ahead contains spoilers for last night’s episode of Lost. Proceed at your own risk.

“He wants us to move the Island” — definitely a great conclusion to what I felt was a mixed bag of an episode overall. Seeing Richard Alpert and Matthew Abaddon pop up in Locke’s flashback was a fascinating development; the notion that current events on the Island might have been put into motion literally decades ago certainly piques my interest. “Cabin Fever” also confirmed that Christian Shephard is not Jacob (assuming we can trust the presumed-dead physician). Oh, and if the creepy smile on her face is any indication, Claire seems to have officially drunk her dad’s Island Kool-Aid. It feels like a turning point for her character arc, and I’m curious to see where it takes her.

Did anyone else notice that the coversheet for Keamy’s “secondary protocol” (i.e. torch the Island) was emblazoned with the DHARMA logo? Does that mean that Widmore = DHARMA? If so, that means Ben and the Hostiles essentially stole Widmore’s Island out from under him years ago. It would certainly explain their mutual animosity. Very interesting…

Those revelations aside, however, I thought the episode came up short in terms of action. Furthermore, for an episode titled “Cabin Fever,” it was a definite letdown that we didn’t make it inside Jacob’s cabin until about 56 minutes into the episode. And why has Desmond been relegated to standing around in the background while Sayid makes important decisions and people get murdered on the freighter? And why has Michael essentially become a non-factor in the storyline after his “dramatic” return a few episodes back?

Bah, I shouldn’t complain. This season has given us way more good than bad. I’m just cranky ’cause Daniel Faraday didn’t show up this week. I know what will cheer me up. Let’s take a look at my homemade logo for DHARMA’s heretofore unseen subterranean Mexican cuisine research station, the Chalupa (introduced in last week’s Lost-vivor):

 

Wouldn’t that look great on a t-shirt? Now, let’s take a look at the scores!
Locke:
 
  • Born: +1
  • Wait, can I really give someone a point just for being born?: -1
  • Well, he’s the youngest preemie in hospital history to live. That’s worth something, right?: +1
  • Hey, remember those Cabbage Patch Kids Preemie dolls from back in the ’80s? Have you ever stopped to think about just how bizarre of a toy that was? “Hey, kids! How would you like your very own premature baby doll?”: -1
  • D’oh! Where was I? Oh, yeah…Lost-vivor. Here, just take the stupid point, John: +1
  • Apparently sees dead people. With nosebleeds: +5
  • Drew what appeared to be a rendering of the Smoke Monster as a child. Creepy: +2
  • Failed Richard Alpert’s somewhat puzzling test. I totally would have picked the comic book: -2
  • Found the DHARMA mass grave again: +2
  • Found Horace’s corpse, recovered the map: +2
  • Stuffed in a locker. Does that actually happen to people, or is it completely an invention of television and film?: -1
  • Turned down Mittelos Bioscience’s summer camp. Dude, that could have been your chance to ride in a submarine (assuming you didn’t blow it up first): -1
  • Found Jacob’s cabin: +5
  • Unfortunately, Jacob wasn’t home. Isn’t that just the story of Locke’s life?: -1

    •  
    Net gain/loss: +12
    Current score: 134
    Jack:
     
  • Not following doctor’s orders: -1
  • Still, he seemed to be getting around rather well for a recent victim — er, “recipient” of sketchy Island surgery: +2

    •  
    Net gain/loss: +1
    Current score: 118

    		 Jack
    Ben:
     
  • You know things are bad when Ben is following Hurley: -1
  • Got a little whiny with the whole “I used to be the Chosen One” bit: -1
  • Line of the night: “Destiny is a fickle bitch.” What a coincidence! So is Kate: +1

    •  
    Net gain/loss: -1
    Current score: 144

    		 Ben
    Claire:
     
  • Joined Team Christian, seemed rather blasé about Aaron’s whereabouts. Isn’t this the same chick who spent the last three seasons wailing like a banshee every time the kid got so much as a runny nose?: -6

    •  
    Net gain/loss: -6
    Current score: 88

    		 Claire
    Sayid:
     
  • Rushed in to wake up Desmond and inform him of the chopper’s return. Once again, Sayid doesn’t sleep; he waits: +1
  • Hatched plan to evacuate Island, escaped on raft: +4

    •  
    Net gain/loss: +5
    Current score: 136

    		 Sayid
    Michael:
     

  • Stomped on by Keamy: -2
  • Michael’s magic “I-can’t-die-yet” powers caused Keamy’s pistol to jam: +5

    •  
    Net gain/loss: +3
    Current score: 82

    		 Michael
    Desmond:
     
  • Decided to stick around on the H.M.S. Penny’s Father’s Boat. I know the Island kinda sucks, but have you noticed the tendency of people on the freighter to go batshit insane? I’d disembark at my first opportunity: -2

    •  
    Net gain/loss: -2
    Current score: 113

    		 Desmond
    Hurley:
     
  • Actually bothered asking Ben about the Purge. Asking questions that matter is always worth a few points: +2
  • Distributed water to Ben and Locke. It’s always important to stay hydrated when going in search of a mysterious disappearing jungle cabin: +1
  • Shared his candy bar with Ben. It’s like one of those “Not going anywhere for a while?” ads for Snickers come to life: +1

    •  
    Net gain/loss: +4
    Current score: 115

    		 Hurley
    Frank:
     
  • Piloted chopper back to the ship. He’s getting pretty good at that whole “Bearing 305″ thing: +2
  • Dropped off the homing doohickey for the Losties on the beach. I’m not sure what he’s planning, but let’s hope Keamy doesn’t find out: +3

    •  
    Net gain/loss: +5
    Current score: 126

    		 frank1.jpg

     

    Eleven weeks down, just a few more rounds of Lost-vivor to go. Here are your updated standings:

    1. Ben (144) (-1)
    2. Daniel (144)
    3. Sayid (136) (+5)
    4. Locke (134) (+12)
    5. Sawyer (130)
    6. Frank (126) (+5)
    7. Juliet (125)
    8. Jack (118) (+1)
    9. Hurley (115) (+4)
    10. Desmond (113) (-2)
    11. Sun (112)
    12. Bernard (110)
    13. Vincent (109)
    14. Kate (109)
    15. Jin (109)
    16. Charlotte (102)
    17. Rose (100)
    18. Miles (96)
    19. Claire (88) (-6)
    20. Michael (82) (+3)

     
    Well, well, well…it appears we have a tie for first place between Ben and Daniel. Meanwhile, check out the slew of Lost-vivors within striking distance of the number one spot: Sayid, Locke, Sawyer. Even Frank and Juliet aren’t out of the running yet. It looks like this season is going to go down to the wire. Anyone care to make a prediction on the winner?

    That just about wraps up this week’s installment of Lost-vivor. As always, feel free to comment below. Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next time!

    Posted by Jess | Filed Under Lost-vivor |

    28 comments so far...

    1. Michael May 9, 2008 12:45 am

      How can Daniel get plus three points? As you mentioned, he wasn’t even there. Hm…

      Also, I thought the ep was great. I’m drinking Christian’s Island Kool-Aid, too. Big time.

      Keep up the great work.

    2. Babs May 9, 2008 12:58 am

      It looks like Daniel has the same amount of points as last week anyway.

      It seems that Ben’s getting a bit short-shafted. He did lay the smack down on Locke when Locke told him that he wasn’t Ben… Plus he seemed to have manipulated Hurley into giving him half of the candy bar.

    3. martha May 9, 2008 2:00 am

      I think Jack should have gotten points off for his dumb ass declaration of “I think he wants us to follow him.” I was under the impression that Frank chucked the phone down so they could stay AWAY from Captain Trigger Happy and his band of lunatics.

    4. martha May 9, 2008 2:04 am

      Also, the Chalupa logo is brilliant. 20 points to you, man.

    5. Daniel Louden May 9, 2008 2:13 am

      It does happen in real life. 7th grade. Stuffed in a locker during lunch.

      Living well is the best revenge, but Locke seems to be doing a little better than me.

    6. Jess May 9, 2008 6:17 am

      @Michael: Oops! Each week, I copy and paste the previous week’s standings and then update the list. As Babs noted, Daniel’s point total was correct; the “+3″ was just an artifact from last week’s Lost-vivor. Thanks for pointing out the error; it’s been fixed.

      @martha: Glad you liked the Chalupa logo. :)

    7. daye May 9, 2008 6:57 am

      NO WAY!! My suspension of disbelief was shattered with skinny little “5 almost six months” Emily that far along. Do those poodle skirts really hide that much baby?? Did you see how she was shimmying around? Where was she keeping CabbagePatch John? In her purse?

    8. erica May 9, 2008 6:58 am

      i think frank, daniel and sawyer have some serious potential to nab the top spot. they’ve been getting better each week. sayid too…maybe locke? oh jeez! i just have so many to choose from.
      ok. final 3 i think to nab it - frank. daniel. and…ok just because i am loyal to the con - sawyer.

    9. Danny May 9, 2008 7:06 am

      I have to say my favorite part of the ep was when locke drew the smoke monster as a child, hands down. Also, what the hell is on Keemy’s arm?!

    10. Datadog May 9, 2008 8:58 am

      Am I the only one hoping that “move the island” means Locke gets to wear a Skipper’s hat and drive the island around at a ship’s wheel on top of a mountain?

      Eh, it’ll probably something stupid like shifting the island into another time period or something. Boooo. I want Steamboat Lockey.

    11. Andre May 9, 2008 9:39 am

      I think the Others only took the island BACK from the Dharma people. They were there first.

      And as for Locke’s mom’s knocked-up-ness, I had a young student (18 years old) who was pregnant and didn’t even know until the 8th month. Young girls often just don’t show much. Locke’s mom is what… 15? Not showing in the 6th month is definitely possible.

    12. Jess May 9, 2008 9:42 am

      @martha: Concerning Jack’s plan to follow the signal, I’m withholding judgment for the time being. I assumed that Frank’s plan is to have the Losties follow the signal so they can stop Widmore’s mercenaries from torching the Island. I could be wrong, though.

      @Datadog: That reminds me…I need to commission a Photoshopped image of Locke wearing a Skipper’s hat.

    13. Matt May 9, 2008 9:47 am

      So the real question I have is…who would win in a throw down Sayid or Keamy??? Tough call.

    14. Jess May 9, 2008 10:29 am

      @Matt: That’s an easy one. The answer to any “Who would win in a throw-down, Sayid or X?” question is always Sayid. :)

    15. julia May 9, 2008 10:37 am

      sayid. he breaks necks with his legs.

      i predict a win for locke this season. it’s his season.

    16. RZ May 9, 2008 11:05 am

      How about giving Richard Alpert some points for never aging?

    17. Randy Peterman May 9, 2008 11:20 am

      re: Apparently sees dead people. With nosebleeds: +5

      Do the nosebleeds relate to Desmond’s time-jumping problem? The guy is 12 years in the future - but knew about it. What if Jack and Claire’s dad, Christian, is also a time-jumper? What if we all jump in time? Is that like moshing? Could we go to a hip-hop concert and engage in some House of Pain style jumping?

    18. Randy Peterman May 9, 2008 11:23 am

      Yes, Chalupa shirt please.

    19. Michael May 9, 2008 12:37 pm

      Yeah, I echo RZ’s comment: the best moments of the episode were seeing Richard Alpert and realizing that it’s true - he really doesn’t age. That guy rocks. I want more Richard!

    20. Rose May 9, 2008 12:54 pm

      I thought Keamy had dropped the bag to the Losties - kinda “round them up”and then kill them sort of thing.
      1 Chalupa, please. :)

    21. Sessy May 10, 2008 9:46 am

      funny stuff! LOL–yeah wtf is up with Claire?! Still any episode with Locke & Ben is a good episode!

    22. Aly May 10, 2008 9:57 am

      Kate’s a fickle ~ROFL!!!

    23. lostnerd May 12, 2008 10:03 am

      i would so buy that shirt!
      chalupas are awesome!
      did anybody see the comercial for next episode damn it was awesome!
      we get to see them gettin off the island yeah!
      im guessin claire isnt comin back bye bye to her
      so i guess sawyer savin her and all was like pointless
      and i agree with martha
      jack maybe you need to sit and think about it before u go trekking off in the jungle! quit actin on impulse!
      and seriously juliet if you actually think hes goin to listen to you and rest then you dont know jack at all!
      and go richard! richards nickname should be adam maybe theyll put that in the script
      if they do sawyer needs to get some points!

    24. David May 12, 2008 11:55 am

      Who else thinks that Keamy will soon meet a slow, miserable death? I think alot of us would cheer if its Sawyer that gets to do the deed.

    25. Jess May 13, 2008 1:10 pm

      Hmm…maybe I’ll hit up CafePress and see if I can make that Chalupa shirt a reality. ;)

    26. lostnerd May 15, 2008 3:13 pm

      please do make it
      im buyin it
      once it hits the stores!

    27. Leah May 15, 2008 3:40 pm

      ROFL the whole time I read your blogs…as usual! Love the use of the word “blase” (okay, the software will not let me correctly accent that). Also love the C. Norris reference. Jess, you rock!

      I just wish this show would start answering questions. With every show, NEW ones pop up. Of course, I love that. It is amazing. The writers are truly gifted.

    28. Danny May 15, 2008 5:29 pm

      I would buy the chalupa shirt in a heart beat!


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