Posted on February 22, 2008 @ 12:20 am
Welcome to Lost-vivor — all the mystery and adventure of Lost with an added dash of Survivor-style competition! Please note that the section ahead contains spoilers for last night’s episode of Lost. Proceed at your own risk.
ADDITIONAL WARNING: Tonight’s installment of Lost-vivor was written under the influence of alcohol. Please excuse any grammatical, computational, and/or comedic errors.
“Eggtown” wasn’t the most riveting Lost episode in recent memory, but the show continues to boast a level of consistency that it lacked throughout much of Season 3. I’ve never been a fan of Kate-centric episodes, and courtroom dramas put me to sleep. That being said, the developments on the island were quite intriguing. I love that Locke is trying his damnedest to establish himself as the “new Ben” of Otherville. Of course, since he’s still easily-fooled, quick-to-anger John Locke, he’s not doing a terribly good job of it.
Meanwhile, anyone care to venture a guess about what was going on with Charlotte and Daniel’s card-guessing routine? Was it some kind of memory-loss thing or a psychic thing? Or was it incredibly obvious, and I just missed out on a piece of crucial dialogue?
I saw the “Aaron is Kate’s son” thing coming a mile away, and I suspect many other viewers did as well. It reminded me a bit of the “shocking” “revelations” that Claire was Jack’s half-sister and Locke’s dad was the original Sawyer. Does Aaron count as one of the Oceanic Six? Does Claire die, or does she stay on the island and let Aaron leave with Kate? I found Jack’s cover story for the crash quite interesting. Only eight people survived the crash, eh? Have I mentioned how much I love the whole flash forward concept overall? It really seems to have breathed new life into the show.
Speaking of new life, I was just reading earlier today that ABC has officially extended Lost’s season from eight episodes to thirteen. Not only am I thankful for the additional episodes, but I’m glad I won’t be crowning a Lost-vivor after a measly eight weeks. Sayid had to endure twenty-plus weeks of competition to win last season. This season’s winner (also likely to be Sayid) already has it way too easy.
Okay, I’m babbling. Let’s assign some points!
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Kate:
Apparently, Kate is this week’s guest star on Law and Order: Mysterious Island Unit: -4
On the bright side, she has one of the most recognizable face in America: +2
Totally “Scooby Dooed” Hurley. Whatever the hell that means: +2
Kate has a son? Hmm…as a rule, I oppose the continued reproduction of the hew-mon species, but I’ll make an exception in this case: +2
Busted Miles out of the boathouse: +3
Banished from Lockeville: -4
Scored a little make-out time with Sawyer anyway: +3
Jack lied under oath to defend her. Aww…that’s sweet: +2
Interrupted Jack’s testimony. Gee, Kate, are you sure that you’re clear on how this whole “defendant” thing is supposed to work?: -1
Jumped on that deal for ten years probation when the prosecutor was willing to keep bargaining. Reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer happily accepts the settlement for a lifetime supply of free coffee before Java World has a chance to mention the monetary component: -3
Turns out Jack was lying under oath when he said he didn’t love her. Nothing says “be mine” like perjury : +2
Kate named her baby after Claire’s baby? That’s unoriginal: -3
Oh, wait…she stole Claire’s baby! That’s a little more respectable: +4
Net gain/loss: +5
Current score: 99 |
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Hurley:
Fell for the old “Locke told me to bring Miles his dinner” trick: -2
Wait a minute…wasn’t Hurley the mastermind who managed to con the near-omniscient Sayid last week? Now Kate is running circles around him? I’m deducting an extra point for good measure: -1
Net gain/loss: -3
Current score: 112 |
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Daniel:
I’m not sure, but I think Charlotte just hustled him at three-card Monte: -1
Net gain/loss: -1
Current score: NA |
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Locke:
Woke up in a hospital bed. Thankfully, his remaining kidney still seems to be intact: +1
Prepared Ben a nutritious breakfast, including sliced DHARMA-lope, the official melon of Lost-vivor: +1
Threw a hissy fit, tossed Ben’s breakfast, stomped around Otherville, slammed doors, and generally made a scene: -2
“I just killed a chicken.” Ooo-kay, John. I think it’s time we talked about changing up your meds a little. Nevertheless, vaguely bad-ass: +1
It seems Locke is setting himself up as El Presidente of Otherville. Better him than Claire, I suppose. When Locke says “dinner at six,” you damn well better believe he means it: +2
Barged in on Kate and Claire without knocking. Manners, John. Manners: -1
Stuffed a live grenade in Miles’ mouth. Hardcore. Seriously, that’s like a 9.3 on the Jack Bauer Scale of Violent Awesomeness: +6
Net gain/loss: +8
Current score: 126 |
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Miles:
Locked up in the boathouse: -2
Brokered deal with Kate to bust him out: +3
Yikes…$3.2 million. Dude drives a hard bargain: +2
Recaptured by Locke, downgraded to hanging from ceiling of boathouse by a chain: -3
Introduced to the unique flavor of live handgrenade: -8
Net gain/loss: -8
Current score: NA |
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Sawyer:
Found some clothes belonging to a deceased Other that just happen to be Kate’s size. I guess that almost counts as sweet. In a Sawyer kind of way: +1
Kate isn’t moving in with him. Are you kidding? Sawyer, Kate, and Hurley sharing a cabin is the best set-up for a sitcom since Hugo and the Ghost Hobbit: -2
Rocked the reading glasses. That’s old school Sawyer, yo: +1
Broke out the boxed DHARMA wine. That Sawyer is one smooth operator: +1
Saw through Kate’s attempts at manipulative island seduction: +3
But agreed to help her bust Miles out anyway: -1
Played on Locke’s love of backgammon. Remember when Sawyer — not Kate — was the island’s resident conman? I miss those days: +2
Bestowed nickname on Miles (”Bruce Lee from the Freighter”): +1
Bestowed nickname on Hurley (”Montezuma”): +1
Got hot and heavy with Kate. I hear the only thing better than make-up sex is pre-banishment sex: +4
Oh, wait…make that pre-banishment cuddling: -2
Called Kate on the “wait ’til you get pissed at Jack and bounce right back to me” thing: +2
Slapped by Kate for bringing up the aforementioned “bounce right back to me” thing: -1
Net gain/loss: +10
Current score: 119 |
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Claire:
Apparently, Claire has been put in charge of making the coffee, doing the laundry, and taking care of the baby. I’m surprised Locke didn’t make her take off her shoes and cook everyone dinner while she was at it: -2
Hmm…Aaron is off with Kate in the future? Somehow, I can’t imagine that bodes well for Claire: -2
Net gain/loss: -4
Current score: 96 |
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Ben:
Downgraded from rec room to basement: -1
But it seems the basement suite comes with a complimentary breakfast: +2
Mentioned Locke’s inability to find Jacob’s cabin, provoked John by saying he was “more lost than you ever were.” I see what you did there: +1
Complimentary breakfast offer rescinded: -2
May or may not be worth $3.2 million: +5
Net gain/loss: +5
Current score: 116 |
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Juliet:
Convinced Charlotte to call the freighter’s emergency number. Is it just me, or has Juliet’s role been significantly downgraded this season?: +1
Net gain/loss: +1
Current score: 108 |
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Sun:
Actually had dialogue this week. Congratulations! Welcome to Lost-vivor: +1
Net gain/loss: +1
Current score: 101 |
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Jin:
Hey, look! That guy who barely speaks English and hangs out with Sun all the time is back, too: +1
Net gain/loss: +1
Current score: 101 |
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Jack:
Surprise witness!: +2
Lied under oath to help Kate. Oh, Jack will gladly lie for Kate in court, but he wouldn’t even bend the truth for his own father in some silly malpractice suit a couple of seasons ago? For shame: -1
What does Jack have against Aaron? Isn’t he Jack’s half-nephew? Is there even such a thing as a half-nephew?: -1
Net gain/loss: 0
Current score: 106 |
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With episode four in the books, here are the current Lost-vivor standings:
- Locke (126) (+8)
- Sayid (121)
- Sawyer (119) (+10)
- Ben (116) (+5)
- Hurley (112) (-3)
- Juliet (108) (+1)
- Jack (106)
- Vincent (105)
- Desmond (103)
- Bernard (101)
- Jin (101) (+1)
- Sun (101) (+1)
- Kate (99) (+5)
- Claire (96) (-4)
- Rose (97)
It figures that they’d have to take Sayid off the show for a week for someone else — in this case, Locke — to seize the number one spot. That being said, there’s a tight race forming near the top between Sayid, Locke, Sawyer, and Ben. At this point, I think it’s anybody’s game. So, that’s it for this week’s Lost-vivor. Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next time!
“…take Sayid off the show for a weak”, eh? Maybe you should refrain from alcohol on Thursday nights.
Kate doesn’t get new points for finally getting a new outfit? I mean how long was she in that shirt?
By the way just so you know, I LOVE THIS BLOG!
I think Kate deserves a point for having a mini-mansion. If that’s what you get for committing fraud, murdering family members and being a fugitive then sign me up! I’m guessing that’s all on Oceanic’s dime.
So when she said to Jack “he’s waiting,” in the flash forward from last season, she was referring to the baby? At the time, I thought it was Sawyer she was referring to but the baby makes more sense now.
C’mon, you have to give Daniel some points for having 2/3rd ESP…
I really enjoyed this episode of LOST. Poor Sawyer, denied by Kate numerous times in this episode…does he need to move on?
@Andy: Oops! Fixed it. Thanks for the heads-up.
@pea: Good point on Kate’s house. She probably deserves at least a point for that place.
@Jeff: 2/3 ESP is the best idea ever. It’s like being half-invulnerable.
DHARMA-lope!!! ROFLMAO–seriously tears of laughter!! and the box o’Dharma cabernet. Actually isn’t boxed wine a fairly new thing? Are there other food drop sites? Would the “modern” boxed wine indicate anything?
keep up the intoxicants–yer funny!
Good episode and great recap! The questions I came away with is who will be the two that survived but didnt become part of O6 from their “cover up story”. Claire? Locke? Does Aaron qualify as part of O6? and why 3.2 mil? Is that a code to Ben meaning something else perhaps? Kate looked pretty darn good in her undies!!
I live for LOST-vivor! Seriously, do you watch the epi, then re-watch and take notes? How do you catch all this stuff? Rock on!
1/2 nephew!!
*bows homage to LOST-vivor*
@Jeff - The pop-up video rerun of “Confirmed Dead” identified the woman who asks Daniel why he is crying about Oceanic 815 as his caretaker. Some sort of Memento-style memory syndrome seems like the most likely explanation.
@daye - According to Wikipedia, box wine was patented in 1965.
Jess adds an extra point to Ben’s total under the influence of alcohol: -1
The test Charlotte gave Daniel is very similar to a test given to diagnose Alzheimer’s Disease. Patients are given a set of things to remember–usually objects with one syllable names. The doctor will then ask questions in between to get them thinking of something else. After a certain amount of time, they’re asked to recall the three objects mentioned before. Inability to recall those objects shows a loss of short term and working memory, one of the early symptoms of Alzheimer’s. I’m not a doctor, but I guess early onset Alzheimer’s could be a possibility in this case.
Although, I suppose the Island’s Magic Voodoo powers could possibly make it better. That would be interesting.
What, no points for Hurley finding a Xanadu tape?
And how about some points for both Hurley and Sawyer for being Lost’s version of the ‘Odd Couple’.
The Jack Bauer comment made my day. Can’t wait for 24 ‘09.
Hey, really liked that episode of LOST!!! And i also think that finally Juliet must play a little more in the episodes… I mean Hello… why hace you forgotten her, her charakter is so interesting and i want to see some action….
Dude, Jack didn’t save his father during that malpractice thing because the woman was pregnant. Did you miss that bit?