How TiVo Made Me Fierce: A Cautionary Tale

Posted on February 10, 2008 @ 11:15 am

Fierce!So, I signed up for more my cable company’s DVR service a few months ago, and it didn’t take long for me to realize that with the great power of digital video recording comes great viewing responsibility. Unbound at last from the strictures of a rigid television schedule, I soon discovered that I will apparently watch anything and everything that comes on television. After all, with my shiny new DVR box, why should I ever miss an episode of Real Housewives of Orange County or Real World/Road Rules Challenge? Oh, excuse me for a moment while I program in a season pass for Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.

Unfortunately, things got out of hand about a month ago. VH1 aired an America’s Next Top Model marathon around New Year’s, showing all nine seasons in sequence. I’d seen a few episodes here and there, and in a television landscape decimated by the writers’ strike, I figured, “Where’s the harm in recording a few episodes of Top Model?”

By “a few episodes,” of course, I mean roughly 112 hours of Top Model. All on my DVR. Just waiting to be watched.

If I ever wanted to have enough space on my TiVo to record another program again, I was going to have to start clearing out episodes of Top Model. So, I did. I started watching the episodes — one by one, season by season. After a month’s time, I had watched every single episode of America’s Next Top Model. Seriously, I’m an expert now — from Adrianne to Saleisha. Just quiz me.

That being said, something scary happened around Cycle 4. It was around that time that, for some bizarre reason, Tyra Banks and her merry band of misfit judges actually started making sense to me. That’s when I knew I had flown to close to the sun on wings of poorly-produced reality television.

Tyra would say something like, “In this photo, you were like ‘uh-uh-UH!’ when you should have been more ‘uh-UH-uh!’” and I would somehow know what she was babbling about. Pretty soon, I was watching the show and thinking, “Jaslene is fabulous, but she really needs to smile more with her eyes,” and “Yoanna is so working that gown, but her walk is still a little too bouncy,” or “CariDee has what it takes for commercial work, but can she handle editorial?” It seems my TiVo has made me fierce, and I’m not quite sure how I feel about that.

Oh, and if ANTM started me down the road to fierceness (ferocity?), Christian from this season’s Project Runway sealed the deal. Omigod — so fierce!

Posted by Jess | Filed Under Pop Culture |

8 comments so far...

  1. courtney February 10, 2008 1:21 pm

    you make me laugh.

    i love that you’re back.

  2. pea February 10, 2008 1:48 pm

    I’d never seen the first few seasons of ANTM prior to that marathon. It was interesting to see how the show has evolved and how Tyra’s gotten more comfortable with her role. New season starts at the end of this month. Can’t wait.

    Oh, and I can’t stand Christian.

  3. yoshi February 10, 2008 2:29 pm

    I think I can safely say that I haven’t watched enough of Top Model to say I understood everything they said, but I totally understand you. LOL

    And yes, DVR’s make you want to record everything. I just upgraded mine to a 500gb hard drive and ok, that’s a lot of tv shows. LOL I think we really need to watch them.

  4. Chris February 10, 2008 3:47 pm

    Never got into ANTM, but I can say that thanks to DVR I am not fully knowledgeable about the universe of Degrassi: The Next Generation.

  5. Chris February 10, 2008 3:48 pm

    Oops, I meant “now” instead of “not.”

  6. Thom February 11, 2008 10:25 am

    At this point I refuse to DVR any reality TV. Because I am not going to get into anymore heated debates about mediocre singers that threaten to end my marriage!

    However, if you were to start a Model-vivor category, I’d probably be forced into following along…

  7. Jessica February 12, 2008 3:45 pm

    Welcome to the dark side! *cackles*

    I am a shameless devotee to ANTM and PR, although I don’t have a DVR.

  8. Trint February 13, 2008 3:51 pm

    Ahem. Excuse me, sir. I’m going to have to take your man-card now. I’m dreadfully sorry, but you’ve left me no other recourse. *rip* *rip* *rip* There. You may now legally breastfeed in public and claim hormonal imbalance as a valid defense. If you raise the hood of your car for any reason, I will have to see to it that you’re grossly overcharged by your mechanic. Oh, and please stay away from any hardware or sporting good stores from now on. Carry on.


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