Posted on February 8, 2008 @ 12:07 am
Welcome to Lost-vivor — all the mystery and adventure of Lost with an added dash of Survivor-style competition! Please note that the section ahead contains spoilers for last night’s episode of Lost. Proceed at your own risk.
Finally, we meet the crew of the H.M.S. Not Penny’s Boat! Somehow, I expected more of an elite paramilitary unit and less of a foursome of misfits and geeks. That being said, “Confirmed Dead” continued to build on the momentum established in the season premiere. It looks like the producers learned their lesson from last season’s snooze-fest of a debut, ’cause Lost is moving full-speed ahead at this point.
I spent much of last season lamenting the loss of Super Cool Jungle Locke, so I have to say that it’s a pleasure to see the character rehabilitated somewhat in these past two episodes. Also, I love Ben’s new role as the guy who talks smack and then gets his ass kicked a few times every episode. Pummel away, Lost-vivors! Oh, and it was a welcome change of pace to see Jack treated as a vaguely competent leader for the first time in forever. I know I give Jack a tough time here on Lost-vivor, but believe it or not, he’s one of my favorite characters on the show. It warms the cockles of my heart to see him do good every one in a while.
As for the Freighter People (a name that sounds decidedly less ominous than the Others), I really dug the actor they cast as Dan. His twitchy, spazzed-out performance was easily one of the highlights of the episode for me. I’m looking forward to finding out why they’re searching for Ben, as well as their mysterious connection to Oceanic Flight 815.
I’m so loving Thursday nights right now: Survivor and Lost, back-to-back. If I flip the channel quickly enough after Survivor ends, it’s like a real-life Lost-vivor right there in my television set. Which got me thinking…why not start doing something similar to Lost-vivor, only recapping Survivor: Micronesia instead? Since I’m switching things around, though, I suppose I’d be adding a little of the mystery of Lost to the reality competition of Survivor — kind of like writing a Lost-flavored fanfic to accompany Survivor. Who is the mysterious Jeff Probst, and why does he insist on making the castaways compete in his bizarre challenges? Who built this pristine obstacle course on a seemingly-deserted island? What really happens after the castaways’ torches are extinguished? Find out next week on…Surviv-ost!
Okay, maybe it’s not such a good idea after all. Enough stalling — let’s start doling out some of those sweet, sweet points!
|
Hurley:
Actually remembered where Jacob’s cabin is located. I’m impressed, Hugo: +2
Had to be a Chatty Cathy, started blabbing the castaways’ life stories to Charlotte: -1
Net gain/loss: +1
Current score: 108 |
 |
|
Daniel:
Unceremoniously shoved out of the chopper: -3
Wearing a tie. Good fashion sense is key to any rescue operation: +1
Forgot about the whole prearranged “tell my sister I love her” code: -1
Noticed that the light doesn’t scatter quite right on Lost-vivor Island. Is this dude high or something?: -2
Belittled repeated by Miles: -3
Net gain/loss: -8
Current score: NA |
 |
|
Sayid:
Along with Juliet, got the drop on Miles: +5
Performed a quick chopper diagnostic. Seriously, is there anything Sayid can’t do?: +2
Net gain/loss: +7
Current score: 111 |
 |
|
Locke:
Ooo…he’s doing that cool “standing in the rain” thing he always used to do: +3
Bonus point for predicting the passing of the storm: +1
Whoa…cool bullet hole, dude: +2
Saved Ben from additional pummeling by Sawyer: -1
Captured Charlotte: +2
Affixed Charlotte’s transponder to Vincent. At least I assume he did it. Who else in Locke’s tribe is smart enough to come up with a plan like that? Claire?: +3
Asked Ben about the Monster. Lost-vivors always gain points for that one time every ten or fifteen episodes when they actually bother to ask an important question: +5
Of course, Ben didn’t know the answer (or wasn’t telling if he did): -2
Net gain/loss: +13
Current score: 114 |
 |
|
Charlotte:
Found a polar bear skeleton in the desert — no easy feat: +2
Stuck hanging in a rather precarious position: -4
Releases her safety harness, splashes down into water. I score it a 2 out of 10: +2
Captured by Locke: -3
Shot by Ben: -10
Survived! These Freighter Folk are tough to kill: +8
Net gain/loss: -5
Current score: NA |
 |
|
Sawyer:
Bestowed nickname on Locke (”Colonel Kurtz”): +1
Bestowed nickname on Ben (”Yoda”): +1
Kicked Ben’s ass: +3
Kicked Ben’s ass again, held him at gunpoint the second time around: +4
Net gain/loss: +9
Current score: 106 |
 |
|
Miles:
Got the drop on Jack: +2
Already knew that Naomi was dead: +1
He’s a professional ghostbuster. Who ya gonna call? Miles Straume!: +1
Scored some decent dough from that whole paranormal consultant gig: +3
Communed with Naomi’s spirit? I heard the mysterious island whispers, so I guess it worked: +2
Ambushed by Juliet and Sayid. Sayid, I understand. Dude is like Chuck Norris. But, Juliet? C’mon: -5
Threatened to break Dan’s fingers. Dude, dial it back a notch: -3
Net gain/loss: +1
Current score: NA |
 |
|
Jack:
Confronted Daniel about his gun: +2
Let Miles get the drop on him: -2
Successfully executed the old “I have friends in the jungle with guns pointed at your head right now” trick: +9
Pointed out to Kate that he “did the ‘wink’ thing”: +2
Net gain/loss: +11
Current score: 106 |
 |
|
Frank:
Crashed the chopper: -10
Narrowly avoided piloting Flight 815 on that fateful day. I guess Frank’s loss is Greg Grunberg’s gain. Or vice versa: +3
Oh, wait…he didn’t crash the chopper after all. My apologies: +15
Memorized flight manifest. That’s impressive, but Ben’s still better at the know-it-all game than you: +2
Is it just me, or does his voice sound eerily like Locke’s? Creepy: -1
Net gain/loss: +9
Current score: NA |
 |
|
Ben:
“Karl, if you’re going to sleep with my daughter, you can call me Ben.” I love this guy: +2
Played a few mind games with Sawyer, while pointing out that Sawyer is, in fact, a handsome dude: +2
Received ass-kicking number two of the season, this time courtesy of Sawyer: -3
Shot Charlotte. That’s what being a snooty, freighter-riding, helicopter-bailing social anthropologist will get you around these parts, missy: +6
And there’s ass-kicking number three, folks: -4
The Freighter People are here for Ben. Uh-oh: -5
Demonstrated why he always used to win when the Others would play a round of Charlotte Lewis trivia: +2
Oh, snap! Ben has a man on the boat: +8
Net gain/loss: +8
Current score: 105 |
 |
|
Vincent:
Yay! Vincent is in this episode: +2
Yay! Vincent helped execute the old “tie the transponder to the dog” trick: +3
Net gain/loss: +5
Current score: 105 |
 |
|
Juliet:
Along with Sayid, got the drop on Miles: +5
Net gain/loss: +5
Current score: 105 |
 |
|
Kate:
Started acting all jealous again when Juliet showed up: -2
Net gain/loss: -2
Current score: 101 |
 |
With the second week of Lost-vivor in the books, let’s check out the scoreboard:
- Locke (114) (+13)
- Sayid (111) (+7)
- Hurley (108) (+1)
- Jack (106) (+11)
- Sawyer (106) (+9)
- Ben (105) (+8)
- Juliet (105) (+5)
- Vincent (105) (+5)
- Kate (101) (-2)
- Bernard (101)
- Desmond (100)
- Jin (100)
- Sun (100)
- Claire (100)
- Rose (97)
Big gains all around this week, as Locke takes the lead and several other players cluster near the top. Personally, I’m waiting for Desmond — last year’s Lost-vivor fan-favorite — to do something interesting this season. Let’s see some future-gazing or nude jungle-running, brotha! Anyway, that’s it for this week. As always, thanks for reading Lost-vivor, and I’ll see you next time!
A couple things:
First, you don’t think Dan’s (or Charlotte, Miles, or Frank) going to become a regular character? We shouldn’t have points for him? Or did you establish earlier that only the Lost-ies are eligible for Lost-vivor?
Second, Locke came up with a plan. Not a plane.
Third, wow, I didn’t even realize Frank was the same guy as Parkman! Holy cow!
Lastly, Lost-vivor was the first thing I thought of when I heard Sawyer dole out those nicknames. Love it. Thanks for the entertaining writing.
Awesome job as always, and up quickly tonight, too! One thing…are you going to add the new Freighter Folks to the other Lostvivors on the scoreboard yet, or see if they last more than a week first?
Just wonderin’…
@Michael: I’m holding out before I include the Freighter Folk in the rankings. If they stick around and become major characters, I’ll go back and tally their past scores and rank them accordingly. As for Frank, he’s not the same guy as Parkman. Greg Grunberg was the pilot of Flight 815; he showed up on-screen during the news report Frank was watching (as well as in the aptly named pilot episode of the series).
Very nice installment! I love how Vincent walks away from this episode with more points than Claire. Stand aside Losties! Vincent’s gonna win this thing!
(At least walking around the jungle with Locke and Sawyer gives Claire a little screen time. But still nothing to do but carry Aaron.)
Great job! This season of LOST is turning out to be incredible! I love it!
Jess, I think Hurley should have gotten some points for knowing where Jacob’s cabin was…and then denying it! Hurley, Locke knows…no need to lie! I also loved Sawyer’s comment about the taller Walt. Sawyer is definitely one of the best characters on the island. I am glad he is kicking a** this season rather than having his kicked! And Ben…you are always one step ahead of everyone else…even if I hate you…I love the fact you are so smart!
I look forward to your blog each week! First thing I do every Friday morning…it definitely makes my Friday better!
@Jeannie: Thanks for the kind words. You’re right about Hurley remembering the location of Jacob’s cabin. I had a note on my score-sheet about it, but I forgot to award it when I starting writing this week’s installment. I think I’ll go back and throw a couple of points his way…
Hi, I just love Lost-vivor first of all!
I think that somebody should lost points for Vincent defecting as unofficial ‘mascot’ for Team Locke! I don’t think it should necessarily be Vincent as I’m sure he didn’t just volunteer to have a transponder strapped to him. I mean, c’mon, couldn’t Locke just as easily strapped the thing to a boar or something?
carry on, job well done
I think we should give +15 points to the author of Lost-vivor for using the phrase “…warms the cockles of my heart…” Classic! Once again great job on the summary. I love it!
How come Sawyer gets more points for beating up Ben than Ben loses when he gets beat up? I mean, I’m cheering when Sawyer is beating the snot out of the guy, but mathematically where do the other points go?
Great write up! Keep up the good work.
Dan’s comment about the light scattering strikes me as one of those subtle hints behind the island’s secret. I think he deserves a little compensation for noticing something the other Lost-vivors haven’t noticed in three seasons. For all we know, this could mean the island’s trapped in some kind of sky dome (ala Truman Show.)
@Karen: I’m running under the assumption that it takes more effort to kick someone’s ass than to get one’s ass kicked, hence the discrepancy in points. Plus, if I started deducting too many points from Ben every time he gets beat up, he’ll be in negative points before this mini-season hits episode six.
Frank is Jeff Fahey (Lawnmower Man), Parkman is Greg Grunberg.
@Stevie: Yep, I know that Frank isn’t Greg Grunberg. Greg Grunberg did, however, play the actual pilot of Flight 815 (and had a cameo in last night’s episode on the newscast). That line was causing way more confusion than I intended, so I’ve tweaked it a little.
Yay, another great round. Although I have to say, only 2 points for Locke’s awesome bullet wound? He deserves more for having the presence of mind to give away his kidney to his conniving father in case anyone tries to shoot him through the left side of his abdomen…
I think the Colonel Kurtz reference was Sawyer’s best line since he offered to make Kate a mixtape.
This episode was much better than the premiere - not that last week was bad, but this week had so much more to offer. And my friends are happy that all of the side games and web tie-ins are finally paying off. Meanwhile I’m stuck reading Lostpedia to figure things out!
I think Datadog’s got a really good point here! I was struck by the line as well, and not at all in the negative sense that you were talking about Jess.
LOST-vivor rules!! I read your blogs sporadically (”Clueless” reference) throughout the year, but it is on my favorites list during LOST seasons. Well done! I love all the detail and recaps…helps me remember stuff I didn’t note during the epi. Thanks!
Hey, did ya’ll notice the frame around the picture of the dead grandson is different before (carved wood) and after (silver) Miles does his ghostbuster scene?
Who threw out the people from the copter? My first theory is that Frank (the pilot) is Ben’s inside man. He threw the people out so that he could safely land the copter and do something before the others found him…
Great work Jess - glad to have you back!