Posted on February 1, 2008 @ 12:11 am
Welcome to an all-new season of Lost-vivor — all the mystery and adventure of Lost with an added dash of Survivor-style competition! Please note that the section ahead contains spoilers for the Lost season premiere. Proceed at your own risk.
Gee, has it really been eight months since the third season of Lost ended and Sayid was crowned Lost-vivor champion? In a television landscape decimated by the writers’ strike, Lost couldn’t have returned at a better time — even if it’s only for eight episodes. Overall, I thought “The Beginning of the End” got Season Four off to a solid start. I was hoping we’d learn more about the mysterious people on the H.M.S. Not Penny’s Boat, but there’s plenty of time for that in future episodes. For now, I’m stoked about the new status quo — Jack leading one plucky band of Lost-vivors and Locke the other. Hey, now that we have two tribes living on opposite sides of the island, why not have them meet up for weekly immunity and reward challenges? Personally, I’m pulling for Team Locke.
I’m also digging the mystery of the Oceanic Six. What kind of cover-up and/or sacrifice did they have to make to get off the island? I’m guessing Hurley is just bummed out that he had to leave his hippie wagon behind.
Anyway, it’s great to have Lost back, and I’m pleased as punch to officially kick off the new season of Lost-vivor. The rules work the same as last season; everyone starts out with 100 points and then has points awarded and taken away based on their actions each week. Whoever ends the season with the most points is crowned Lost-vivor champion. Can Sayid bring home the prize two seasons in a row? Will Jack manage to achieve negative points this season? Is there really any point to including Claire in the rankings? We’ll answer all these questions and more, this season on…Lost-vivor! <cue spooky Lost sound>
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Hurley:
Sweet Camaro, dude: +3
After crashing through some papayas (?), earned a standardized 2.4 out of 5 on the Bo Duke Car-Jumping Scale: +4
Caught by the cops, tried unsuccessfully to flee on foot: -4
Totally snubbed Ana-Lucia. I never liked her either, Hugo: +2
Turned down cop’s offer of a donut. Dude, donuts are delicious: -1
Experienced psychotic underwater interrogation-room episode. Cuckoo, cuckoo: -3
Super happy cannonball fun-time: +1
Threw walkie-talkie into the ocean. Sure, you can buy a new one after you’re rescued, Hugo, but not everybody on the island is worth $150 million: -2
Unfortunately, Hurley is back in the nuthouse: -5
On the bright side, he’s winning at Connect Four: +1
Turned down opportunity to upgrade to a nicer nuthouse: -2
Asked “Oceanic representative” for his card. Hurley’s pretty sharp for a psycho: +3
Got lost in the jungle: -3
Discovered Casa de Jacob and actually saw Jacob. Then again, Hurley sees lots of things that aren’t really there: +2
Broke the bad news about Charlie to Claire: +2
Check out those mad igloo-paintin’ skillz, yo: +1
Saw Charlie’s ghost. I smell a sitcom spin-off…Hugo and the Ghost Hobbit! Coming to ABC, Fall 2010: +2
Slapped by Ghost Hobbit. That’s the kind of slapstick comedy viewers can expect to see each week on Hugo and the Ghost Hobbit! Coming to ABC, Fall 2010. For more behind-the-scenes news, mobisodes, and ringtones, visit ABC.com: -1
Delivered a great speech about listening to Charlie and staying on the island: +5
Demonstrated mad nuthouse ballin’ skillz versus Jack (who, in his defense, had probably been drinking): +2
Net gain/loss: +7
Current score: 107 |
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Charlie:
ZOMG! Charlie is still alive: +100
Oh, wait. Hurley’s insane. I forgot: -100
Net gain/loss: 0
Current score: NA (deceased) |
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Naomi:
ZOMG! Naomi is still alive, too: +100
Alive enough to leave a fake trail that, of course, Jack is more than happy to follow: +15
Jumped Kate: +5
Never mind…she’s dead again: -100
Or is she?: +100
Yeah, I’m pretty sure she is: -100
Net gain/loss: +20
Current score: NA (deceased) |
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Sayid:
Smart enough to realize that their communications are likely being monitored: +2
Brought up the whole “Locke destroyed the sub” ordeal. Oh, yeah…Sayid totally went there: +2
Net gain/loss: +4
Current score: 104 |
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Locke:
Ouch! Slugged by Jack: -4
Good plan, going to the barracks. Team Locke rocks: +5
Net gain/loss: +1
Current score: 101 |
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Sawyer:
Oh, geeze…we’re back to Mr. Nice Guy Sawyer. “You just holler if you need me, Hugo”: -3
Net gain/loss: -3
Current score: 97 |
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Bernard:
Words of wisdom: “Hurley, you wanna do a cannonball? Cannonball”: +1
Net gain/loss: +1
Current score: 101 |
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Jack:
Let Kate steal his satellite phone after totally ignoring her advice about tracking Naomi: -4
Knocked the ever-loving crap out of Locke: +3
And then tried to shoot him! Whoa, there…let’s dial it down a few notches, Jacko: -5
Also addressed the “Locke keeps blowing important stuff up” issue: +2
Visited Hurley in the nuthouse: +2
Left before finishing his game of H-O-R-S-E. Dude, you can’t stop at H-O: -3
Net gain/loss: -5
Current score: 95 |
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Rose:
Engaged in thinly-veiled, creepy sexual innuendo regarding Claire and Charlie: -5
Bestowed nickname on Bernard (”Rambo”): +2
Net gain/loss: -3
Current score: 97 |
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Ben:
Still looks like crap from his Season Three beating: -2
Slugged by Rousseau: -3
Still reigning King of Sarcasm on Lost-vivor Island. I loved his line about the “big bundle of firewood” Naomi must be out gathering: +2
Net gain/loss: -3
Current score: 97 |
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Kate:
Lifted the satellite phone from Jack: +3
Demonstrated those mysterious island tracking skills they never really explained when/how she learned to find Naomi: +3
Kinda got her ass handed to her by Naomi: -3
Net gain/loss: +3
Current score: 103 |
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Okay, let’s take a look at the scoreboard after one week of Lost-vivor action:
- Hurley (107) (+7)
- Sayid (104) (+4)
- Kate (103) (+3)
- Bernard (101) (+1)
- Locke (101) (+1)
- Desmond (100)
- Jin (100)
- Vincent (100)
- Sun (100)
- Claire (100)
- Juliet (100)
- Ben (97) (-3)
- Rose (97) (-3)
- Sawyer (97) (-3)
- Jack (95) (-5)
No huge gains by any contestants this week, but there’s already some familiar trends afoot (i.e. Jack near the bottom and Sayid near the top). As always, thanks for reading Lost-vivor, and I’ll see you next week!
As I said in the previous post, super-glad to have you back. I would just feel strange watching Lost and not looking for Lost-vivor right away afterwards. However, a small correction: Hurley didn’t throw the sat phone into the sea, instead it was a mere walkie talkie.
Also: wow, a lot of Hurley events in this episode.
Thanks for the heads-up on the walkie-talkie. It’s been corrected.
Hugo and the Ghost Hobbit!!! Thank you! I don’t want to sound too creepy, but I’ve missed you.
I’ve missed the weekly installments of ‘Lost’ and ‘Lost-vivor’.
Although I think Sawyer should gain points from being all adorable and nice. But I’m probably biased, given that he’s my Secret Island Crush. I also think Claire should get points for crying and being really moving instead of kind of irritating. I like Claire, but sometimes she just needs to turn off the waterworks. But that’s just me.
Please, if it had been anyone else but Jack aiming a gun at Locke those points would be a gain instead of a loss. Call me a stubborn blind fool but Jack is still my favorite and Locke is creepy and I don’t trust him.
pea: I dunno…if Rose had tried to murder a fellow Lost-vivor on the eve of their rescue, I think I would have docked her points, too. Punching the dude is one thing; making an honest effort to shoot him seems to take it to a whole ‘nuther level.
I hate Ben, but you should give him credit for his other great sarcasm line, too. “Jack, with your permission I’d like to go to the barracks” or something like that. ZOMG! Brilliant!
And good to have you back - stop it with these long ass breaks!
LOSTVIVOR IS BACK! It’s just a notch below Lost itself being back.
Did anyone watch the “we-want-you-to-keep-watching-our-network” ad for Oceanic? They showed the plane’s wreckage underwater, so I’ll be interested to see what part Oceanic Airlines has to play in all this.
Sooo glad you are back, Jess!!! Looking forward to this…
Check your math: Hurley is plus seven by my count.
Kate learned how to track from her father when they went hunting together.
Jonathan is right, Hurley is +7
Desmond should get a neg 2 for not supporting Hurley’s speech about Charlie…I would have popped Jack with neg 20 for pulling the trigger…anyways, awesome reading your scoring!!
ANyway to get Christian a score for relaxing in Jacob’s rocking chair?
Oops! My bad on Hurley’s point total. It’s now been corrected. Thanks for the heads-up!
What about Danielle?
It seems as though Jack should get some points for having Hurley appologize for going w/ Locke. Jack’s group seems to end up as the better group.
Thank goodness Lost-vivor is back, owe how I missed thee! And as brilliant as ever!
[...] Yes, it’s finally returned. That ultimate achievement in television culture that ties us together as we try to figure out what could come next. What mystery or secret will be revealed next. What trials will the characters face that will determine their survival. And, of course, how many points will they score. That’s right, Jess has returned to present us with another season of Lost-vivor! [...]
It’s incredible to have you back! Awesome job! But no points for Locke for having an unloaded pistol or for Danielle for smacking the heck outta Ben?
Is it just me, or did Sawyer sound Scottish when he said, “Doin what I always do…survivin”
I personally think we should add Penny as a ‘virtual cast member’ to this blog.
Great to have you back!!!
Yay! Lost-vivor!
I think I like the direction they’re taking Hurley’s character. It would be interesting to see if he’s a contender for this year’s championship.
Okay, okay, something has bothered me since the finale of last season. When Ben sends Ryan down to the beach to collect the survivors’ pregnant women, Ryan says that he’s going to “take 10 of my best men” — implying that eleven Others go down to the beach. However, when Mister Friendly talks to Ben on the walkie, he says that 7 people were killed, and you can clearly see three Others are left (including Ryan). What’s up with that?
[...] Lost-vivor is Back! February 5th, 2008 Random | [...]
It’s good to have you & your awesome commentary back. I’m happy LOST & LOST-vivor are back! Thanks for putting this together.
I didnt want to get my hopes up that Lost vivor would be up, but hecks yea, here it is!!!! What an awesome episode, tons of clues tons of clues toooooons of clues! Im glad there are more patient people in the world than me, so I just have to look them up online!
I am so happy Lost is back… and so happy Lost-vivor is back. Let the game begin!
[...] wife and my sister are going to play ‘Pantry Survivor!” It won’t be as funny as Lost-Vivor, but it will be educational. The goal is to buy a very minimal amount of produce and staple type [...]