I Get Comments: Avril Lavigne Edition
Posted on May 1, 2007 @ 10:32 am
I’ve always maintained that my regular readers here at Apropos of Something are far cleverer than I, and one need look no further than the site’s comments section for proof of that claim. Every now and then, however, one of my entries finds itself near the top of Google’s results for some random search string, thus bringing in an entirely new demographic of commenters — i.e. the flotsam and jetsam of the Web. That’s when it’s time for an installment of “I Get Comments!”
What follows is a series of unedited comments posted on an entry about Avril Lavigne’s recent single, “Girlfriend” (with my own snarky commentary interjected). After several regular commenters expressed distaste for the song, the Google onslaught began:
I love this song and I hope that you will sell millions of copies of this song! — Cassie
Thanks, Cassie! I had so much fun recording this album, and I’m glad that you enjoyed it. By the way, my husband Deryck says, “Hi!” Rock on!
i love it it is probly the best song i hav heard well that is my opinion. — Leanne
I’m going to go out on a limb, Leanne, and guess that you live in a primitive society where an airplane carrying nothing but CDs by the Pussycat Dolls and Fergie — and a copy of the “Girlfriend” single — crashed a few months ago, thus exposing you to “popular” music for the first time in your life. If so, I’m sure Avril’s “Girlfriend” probably is the best song you’ve ever heard. Next!
fuck uz all its the best song ever !!!!!!!!!!!!! — lina
This may very well be the best comment I’ve ever read. “Fuck uz all!” is going to be my new catchphrase.
avril lavigne is so so cool i have a cd of hers it is so awesome i wish i knew avril lavigne would be so cool she would be my best friend ever my favorite song is girlfriend it is so sweet.aaaahhhh — justice
Careful, Justice. I used to think if I could only meet my favorite celebrity that we’d be BFFs, too. Now, all I have to show for it is a restraining order and the poster of Ricky Martin that hangs over my bed.
The best song EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — Cheynell
I really need to set up a filter to weed out comments with more than ten exclamation points.
screw everyone who doesn’t like avril and the song “girl friend” She is the best person and that song rocks!I love the song sk8er boi to! who agrees with me on those comments? — sally
Good news, Sally! Our next commenter, “j dog” agrees with you one hundred percent.
hi it’s j dog again avril i am so sorry about poeple that don’t like you. you are the best ever. everybody can kiss my ass for all i care butthats only if you don’t like avril lavigne but i do — j dog
Of course, “j dog” posted his comment a mere ten minutes after Sally’s call to arms — and from the same IP address! What are the odds? Kudos for incorporating the word “butthats,” though.
are you really retirering avril??????If you are please dont! — ema
Don’t worry about me retiring, guys (and I pronounced that “aboot” since I’m totally Avril Lavigne). As long as the world wants faux-punk of the cute, prepackaged variety — and as long as there’s a clearance rack at Hot Topic — you can bet that I’ll keep churning out singles like “Girlfriend.” Thanks for listening! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go spit on some paparazzi. Peace out!
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Blickity-Blog, Pop Culture |
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Awesome. The interweb has been really popular for what, 10 years or so, and people still can’t get the hang of it?
And you know what? I still dig the song. My wife picks on me when she sees how excited I get when it comes on the radio as we cruise in our ‘01 Altima.
You know, sometimes I wonder what I’m missing (besides viagra spam) by turning comments off on old entries at 2 weeks.
Now, I know.
I feel like pointing at all those people and laughing like Nelson at them.
HA HA!
i’m scared to listen to any of her songs now. apparently being an avril fan means you can no longer use punctuation correctly, if at all. the internets have already affected my ability to capitalize so you can see why i’m worried. word.
proof, finally, that the cleansing of idiots from the world really is being cruel to be kind
@Chris: I just love the fact that a few of the comments suggest that the authors either think I’m Avril Lavigne or, at the very least, that Avril will actually read what they’ve written.
@Ruko: I’ll admit, I still have “Girlfriend” on my iPod too. My wife and I enjoy in-car sing-alongs when it shuffles up.
@Veronica: I used to shut down my comments after two weeks, but these are far too entertaining to miss out on.
Yes, it is amazing that you can write about a subject on the Internet and some people will automatically assume you are the subject. Or they’ll curse you out.
My personal favorite comment is “She is the best person”. Not only does she rock, but she’s actually the best person in the world. I wonder if reading that would make Bono cry - I mean, he’s been lobbying for that title for… what?… the past decade?
Quite a few years ago I started a website about Howie Long (hetero mancrush that I’m over now). I got so many emails from people thinking I was him that I had to post a section explaining I wasn’t. Didn’t help.
AN OPEN LETTER TO AVRIL LAVIGNE
Avril Lavigne, I’m sorry, but you can’t be my girlfriend.
Seriously, what’s your beef? Why don’t you like my girlfriend? Going through your lyrics, I can only assume you don’t like her because she’s “like whatever” and “so stupid.” You don’t even know who you’re talking about! And how do you know you’re really any better? All the feelings you have for me seemed to be based around lust and a silly teenage girl crush, which is terrible groundwork for a stable relationship. The next time you feel anything about me, let’s talk first before you record a million-dollar pop hit and make yourself sound like an idiot on every radio station over and over again. Otherwise, it just wouldn’t work between us.
Also, you look like a breeding ground for STDs. Please take a shower.
Once again, I must mock those people.
HA HA
1.) I had no idea that people felt so passionately about Avril Lavigne. A small part of my faith in humanity has died.
2.) I am so enamored of the fact that you get so many random comments. If only my site could get that kind of exposure to complete strangers with little interest in the actual content of my site
3.) Which isn’t to say you don’t also have throngs of adoring readers that are specifically interested in your content.
4.) Like me.
PS. Once, for like 3 seconds, I heard that one single from Paris Hilton’s album and I said, “What is this song? It’s not completely terrible.” I regret nothing! But I have vowed never to turn on an FM radio ever ever again.
5.) I am so anal that upon reading my comment and finding there is no EDIT button, I have to add that I meant to say:
“I am so enamored WITH the fact that yadda yadda yadda”.
Thanks.
“avril lavigne is so so cool i have a cd of hers it is so awesome i wish i knew avril lavigne would be so cool she would be my best friend ever my favorite song is girlfriend it is so sweet.aaaahhhh — justice”
They say justice is blind, but now I know she’s deaf as well!
Sorry it had to be said.
Good thing Avril’s not sXe or something. You might cause the intarweb to implode.
Avril is da best
OMG I LOVE YOU AVRIL!!!! ME AND MY BFFL JOCELYN ARE YOUR BIGGEST FANS EVER WE SPEND ALL DAY ON THE COMPUTER AT CAMP AND ALL WE DO IS LOOK UP AVRIL LAVIGNE ALL DAY LONG !!!!OMG MY FAV SONG IS HOT I LOVE IT’S ALL WE LISTEN TO AND HERE IS ONE OF YOUR QOUTES IN A SONG”SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TODAY DUDE YOU WANT TO CRASH A MALL NICE” OMG THAT IS A GOOD SONG TO OMG IT’S COMPLICATED I CAN’T WAIT TILL YOU COME TO NORTH CAROLINA!!!! ME AND MY FRIEND HAVE OUR OWN LITTLE FAN CLUB AND EVERY TIME YOUCOME TO CONCERT WE DO WHATEVER WE HAVE TO DO RAISE ENOUGH MONEY TO GO TO YOUR CONCERT !!!WELL WE LOVE YOU AVRIL !!!!PLEASE COME BACK TO NORTH CAROLINA!!!!1
Hey Avirl my name is Jocelyn and I just wanted to say that I love your style, I love your, songs, your music videos, and your husband Deryck sounds really nice! I think you guys make a fantastic couple. You married a great guy. I have heard rumors about you being pregnant but I do not think you are so are you? Me and my friend have done nothing the past 4 weeks but watch your videos, listen to your music, talk about you, think about you, and look you up and do everything with your name in it and that talks about you. Why do you let those people say bad words on your site. Doesn’t that bother you? Well I got to go I hope you reply to my comment. And I luv ya like a sister (lylas). I hope me and my friend can make it to your concerts.
That would be sweet to go see Avril Lavigne in concert in Beijing China. Her tour date says it’s October 6th. After watching the olympics, I really want to visit Beijing now.