An open letter to Jack Bauer
Posted on April 30, 2007 @ 12:13 pm
Dear Agent Bauer,
First, allow me express my sincere gratitude for your unwavering service to this country — specifically, saving President David Palmer’s life, preventing a nuclear bomb from detonating in Los Angeles, stopping a Mexican drug cartel from unleashing a deadly biological weapon on the United States, rescuing the former Secretary of Defense and his daughter from terrorists, exposing a conspiracy within the Logan administration to transfer nerve gas to Russian separatists, and your recent efforts to recover the suitcase nukes smuggled into the U.S. by Abu Fayed. You, sir, are a great American, and your efforts have been indispensable in our country’s war against fictional terrorists hailing from unspecified Middle Eastern countries.
That being said, I am writing to inform you that, while I remain a devoted fan of your show, I will no longer be tuning in to 24 on Monday nights. I don’t know if you’re familiar with NBC’s Heroes, but it’s one of the best new shows on television this season. Unfortunately, it also airs opposite 24. It is with a heavy heart that I inform you I’ll be tuning in to Heroes instead of 24 for the remainder of the season.
Don’t get me wrong — 24 is a great show too, and I’ll still be downloading new episodes from the iTunes Store. Yes, each episode of 24 is an action-packed thrill ride that puts many Hollywood shoot ‘em ups to shame, but I’m afraid it’s basically the same thing season after season. You uncover a plot against America, put a stop to it (against all odds), find out that the interchangeable bad guy you thought was behind the whole thing is actually working for someone else, and then you track that bad guy down and save the day. Oh, and there’s a CTU mole in there somewhere. Sure, it’s great entertainment, but I’m starting to feel like I’ve seen it all before. Heroes, on the other hand, offers engaging characters and exciting plot twists that consistently keep me coming back for more.
In closing, I trust that you will accept this difficult decision on my part even if you don’t agree with it. Moreover, I hope that you will find it in your heart not to torture me as a result of this missive. Please, I don’t know anything. I swear!
Sincerely,
P.S. It was really awesome when you killed a terrorist earlier this season by biting through his jugular vein. Seriously hardcore, dude. And not at all crazy.
P.P.S. Once again, please don’t torture me.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Pop Culture |
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Jess, I agree for the most part. I’ve never seen Heroes, but I share many of the same sentiments about 24. You forgot to mention the part where someone who was thought to have been dead shows up as being alive again. Pretty cool, but it kinda feels like Night of the Living Dead if it happens every season. Also, I don’t think Jack will torture you. You said you don’t know anything, so that’s probably good enough.
P.S. Jack, I really think your show still rocks, and I’ll continue to watch.
P.P.S. I don’t know anything either. Really.
Wow Jess, are you brave. My coworkers LOVE 24, and I haven’t watched it yet, but I’ve heard how very impressive Jack is. You sure you want to admit not watching him? I mean, first you admit to watching other shows, next you admit to being the CTU mole…
HAHAHA! I KNEW we’d bring you over to the Heroes side! Victory is mine!
It was nice knowing you.
Can I have your site traffic once you’re killed in some unfortunate incident?
Whoo-hoo! Another convert. Fantastic! Glad to have you aboard.
I’ve never watched 24 nor do I want to. Give me Heroes and Lost any day of the week…
Mwahahaha! Heroes claims yet another another victim!
I feel bad for Kiefer Sutherland now. They should do an episode on Heroes where they call in CTU to stop the exploding man.
So far, so good…I’ve watched Heroes two weeks in a row now, and Jack Bauer still hasn’t shown up at my house to pistol whip me and demand to know who I’m working for. Still, I’m buying episodes of 24 on iTunes just to cover myself in case he does appear on my doorstep one day. That’s $1.99 per episode, Agent Bauer; it’s all those freeloaders who watch it on cable you should be torturing, not me.