Mousetrap

Posted on April 25, 2007 @ 8:19 am

I’m a little obsessive compulsive at times, and for whatever reason, it really flares up whenever I’m shopping for a new computer mouse. I just get totally fixated on finding the perfect mouse. Unfortunately, I have a cripplingly narrow definition of what qualifies as “perfect.”

First, it has to be corded. I don’t trust cordless mice; it just seems wrong somehow. Second, it has to have a clicky scroll wheel. Smooth scroll wheels drive me nuts. Third, the mouse can’t have any extraneous buttons. I don’t want to become reliant on some wacky feature that only my mouse has and then find myself frustrated every time I have to use a “normal” mouse without that special button. Fourth, I really prefer Microsoft and Logitech mice. I’ve had bad luck with every other company I’ve tried. Fifth, it can’t be too big. I have tiny hands (like a carny). Finally, it has to be cheap. I’m not paying more than $39.99 for a mouse. Ever.

In the words of Bill Cosby, I told you that story so I could tell you this one. My trusty mouse bought the farm yesterday. The left button jammed, and my best efforts to repair it — using the little built-in file on a pair of toenail clippers — failed. As usual, I immediately transformed into Obsessive Compulsive Jess and began the Great Mouse Hunt of 2007. My three hours (!) of shopping included stops at:

      1. Wal-Mart
      2. Target
      3. Circuit City
      4. Best Buy
      5. OfficeMax
      6. Office Depot
      7. Target (again)

At each store, I spent ten or fifteen minutes fondling their display mice, trying to find that perfect mouse. When my trek around town finally ended, I still didn’t have a mouse. In fact, I more or less gave up on finding one. Maybe I’d just wait a few months until new new models hit the shelves. In the meantime, I could practice my Windows keyboard shortcuts.

After ruminating on a mouseless future for a few hours, however, I decided to give it one more try. I went back to Best Buy and bought the opposite of my ideal mouse — a big, cordless Kensington mouse with all kinds of extra buttons. I figured it would be cathartic and maybe help me let go of this mouse obsession. So far, I’m pleased with the outcome. Of course, I cheated a little and still went for a clicky scroll wheel. There are some principles you just can’t compromise.

Oops! I almost forgot to blame my broken mouse for the dearth of new content here at Apropos of Something over the past two weeks. Yeah, broken mouse…that’s the ticket.

UPDATE: The “cathartic” mouse lasted less than 24 hours. My anal retentiveness, however, wasn’t the culprit. It seems the mouse tended to recognize right clicks as left clicks and vice versa. So, I exchanged it this afternoon for a Microsoft wireless mouse…which doesn’t work either. With the wireless receiver literally less than a foot from the mouse, it barely registers. So, now it’s back to Best Buy to make my second mouse exchange of the day. It’s a good thing I really have nothing better to do with my time.

UPDATE #2: I finally settled on a Logitech LX7 cordless mouse. I’m pleased with the performance, and all is right with the world. The Great Mouse Hunt of 2007 is at an end!

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