T.J. McFakerson’s: All Your Favorites Under One Roof

Posted on April 16, 2007 @ 2:51 pm

I had a great idea for a new restaurant this morning. I’d call it T.J. McFakerson’s, and the entire menu would be made up of “loving tributes” to the signature dishes already offered at other popular restaurant chains. Just think of it as a “greatest hits” compilation of all your favorite restaurants. Can’t decide where to go for lunch? Come on down to T.J. McFakerson’s, where we proudly offer all your favorites under one roof!

T.J. McFakerson

Here are just a few of the menu items we’d offer at T.J. McFakerson’s:


Thank God It’s Artichoke Dip: You don’t need to wait until Friday to enjoy our cheesy spinach and artichoke dip! Served with a bottomless basket of tortilla chips.
Owl Wings: Nobody knows spicy chicken wings like these hooters! Served with a side of blue cheese dressing by our lovely Owl Girls. They put the “fake” in McFakerson!
Unlimited Salad and Breadsticks: What’s even better than basket after basket of our way-too-buttery, way-too-garlicky breadsticks? How about family-sized Italian salad topped with olives straight from our garden?
The Boomerang Blossom: An Australian favorite. Just like a trusty boomerang, the taste of these deep-fried onion petals will keep coming back to you all day long!


The Big Ron: Two predominantly meat patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. Have a supersized appetite? Don’t be a clown — try a Big Ron!
Jared’s Submarine Sandwich: It’s low fat, so who cares how it tastes? Just 8 grams of fat (not including bread, meat, vegetables, or condiments)!
T.J. Chang’s Chicken: Lightly breaded chicken in a tangy General Tso’s glaze, served with a side of white rice. One taste and you’ll agree that this chicken is “P.F.” — pretty fantastic!
Full-o-Chick Chicken Sandwich: A Southern-style chicken breast filet, deep-fried and served on a toasted bun with two pickle chips. Not available on Sundays.
T.J.’s Baby Back Ribs: You want your baby back, baby back, baby back? You want your baby back ribs? Try T.J.’s secret recipe! Served with a side of chili.
Treasure Island Seafood Platter: Alaskan whitefish! Shrimp! Clam strips! Hushpuppies! French fries! All fried in the same oil, so they only differ in shape and texture! Captain Silver’s favorite, served with a side of deep-fried coleslaw.


Count Fudgula’s Death by Brownie: The same warm chocolate brownie and vanilla ice cream served by every other restaurant on the planet! Only this one has a different name!

I think this idea has legs! What other menu items would you recommend?

Posted by Jess | Filed Under Random Musings |

11 comments so far...

  1. Fuzzball April 16, 2007 9:48 pm


  2. rjlight April 16, 2007 10:28 pm

    Sounds great, when ya opening? I was trying to think of another one—too tired to be funny… this is a great post!

  3. Jessica April 16, 2007 10:47 pm

    hehehe I like this! My ideas:

    “Sorry, we’re cheapasses!” Chips - unlimited tortilla chips and salsa, just like your favorite mexican restaurant! Only it’s not free. Sorry, folks.

    ZOMG Best Steak Ever - The same 9 oz sirloin you get at every other restaurant on planet earth. But ours comes with a baked potato!

    Giant Burrito - This is a burrito super-stuffed with all your favorite toppings! And we had to wrap it in foil just to keep it from spilling out all over your nice sunday clothes.

  4. Phollower April 17, 2007 8:06 am

    I love how the Full-o-Chick Sandwich isn’t availble on Sunday. That’s a riot.

  5. Thom April 17, 2007 10:28 am

    Brilliant. I’d be there everyday of the week. But you need more entries that are made of “predominantly meat” products. Or if you can fit in the term “traditional meat product animal” that would be great.

    I’d suggest an appetizer based on southwestern eggrolls (It’s nothing like a real eggroll, but we can pretend, can’t we?) and add a wrap (Is it a sandwich? Is it a burrito? The world may never know.) and sizzling fa-JI-tas (Of course they come out on a scalding hot iron skillet that can maim you. They wouldn’t be fajitas otherwise) for entrees. If you do a breakfast menu it must also include a traditional breakfast burrito (Just like real Mexicans make - if they work in an American restaurant)!

  6. Trint April 17, 2007 1:30 pm

    Friggin’ brilliant! Add the guac and bacon burger from Red Robin’s and the seven layer burrito from Taco Bell and I’d eat there every day of the week.

  7. Trint April 17, 2007 1:34 pm

    Oh, and don’t forget the “Pizza Crepe Taco Pancake Chili Bag” from TACO TOWN!!

  8. Nicole Sikora Heschong April 17, 2007 2:26 pm

    I am getting in the car.
    I am driving to where you live.

    Please have the restaurant open and a booth with a view ready for me when I arrive.

    I’m springing for a round of appetizers for all! (And you probably should add some sort of bacon faux-cheesy fries sort of thing here. Everybody loves those darn things.)

  9. David April 17, 2007 6:50 pm

    Philly Steak & Cheese - Even though we’ve never been to Philly we make ours like the original.

  10. Dave April 18, 2007 1:34 pm

    Jared and his sandwiches needs to be stopped. and I must stop him… pardon me… I’m off to see the wizard

  11. YMG April 22, 2007 3:51 pm

    HA. I would order the Seafood Platter myself. I have been known to eat the crusty little deep fryer droppings they give you in a basket at Long John Silver’s. Mmmm, life-shortening.

    Did you have quesadilla’s? Pronounced “Kaysa-dill-ah’s” of course. And what about Pizza Shooters or Extreme Fajitas***???

    **Shameless Office Space reference.

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