Lost-vivor: “Par Avion”

Posted on March 14, 2007 @ 11:34 pm

Lost-vivor

Welcome to Week Twelve of Lost-vivor — all the mystery and adventure of Lost with an added dash of Survivor-style competition. Here’s the deal: after each week’s Lost, I’ll award and deduct points from the characters based on their actions during the episode. I’ll tally up the Lost-vivor scores as the season progresses, and, at the end, we’ll declare a Lost Season Three champion! You can catch up on the action so far at the Lost-vivor archives.

Please note that the section ahead contains spoilers for last night’s episode of Lost. Proceed at your own risk.

“Par Avion” seemed like a rather uneventful episode of Lost. Of course, the big news is that Claire is Jack’s half-sister. Sure, I predicted it before the season started (along with a million other Lost fans), but I secretly hoped Charlie would turn out to be her brother instead — just to recreate that creepy Luke/Leia vibe from Star Wars. Only this time with a hobbit.

Aside from the big revelation regarding Claire’s father and the twist at the end with Jack tossing around the old pigskin with Mr. Friendly, not much else happened this week. Somehow, I doubt we’ll see any payoff in the near future on Claire’s bird-o-gram. Desmond saved Charlie’s life again, but what else is new? Meanwhile, Locke continues to act seriously sketchy. In fact, I’m starting to wonder if Locke secretly hopes the Others will accept him into their ranks at this point. Perhaps his recent penchant for exploding/imploding DHARMA stations is a misguided attempt to impress them. I don’t know; I’m just grasping at straws to explain his strange behavior in recent episodes.

Alright, let’s take a look at this week’s scores.

Claire:
 
  • Claire was so totally emo back in the day: -1
  • Oops! She wrecked the car: -5
  • Devised a sensible plan to get off the island — the first useful thing she’s done since the crash eighty days ago: +10
  • Sent the rock hobbit packing: +3
  • But reconciled with him by the end of the episode: -3
  • She’s Jack half-sister. Let’s hope poor Lost-vivor performance isn’t genetic: -2
  • Wrote a really touching note to attach to the bird: +2
  • Only she forgot the parts about the polar bears and the mysterious Hatches and the crazy French ladies living in the jungle and the Smoke Monsters and the four-toed statues: -1

    •  
    Net gain/loss: +3
    Current score: 107
    Charlie:
     
  • Surprised Claire with a fruit plate and picnic. Hey, Charlie is acting normal for a change: +2
  • No, wait…he’s acting all weird again, dissing Claire’s bird-o-gram stratagem: -4
  • Dumped by Claire. Don’t worry, Charlie; she’ll take you back next time Aaron needs a sitter: -3
  • See? You already patched things up before the end of the episode: +3
  • Survived another episode, thanks to Desmond: +5

    •  
    Net gain/loss: +3
    Current score: 95
    Sayid:
     
  • Stopped Kate from getting up close and personal with the Sonic Pylons of Death. Sayid does more babysitting than Charlie lately: +2
  • Discovered Locke’s secret C-4 stash: +2
  • Found Otherville: +4

    •  
    Net gain/loss: +8
    Current score: 120
    Locke:
     
  • Tried to blame Kate and Sayid for the destruction of the Flame: -3
  • Threw Eyepatch Guy into the Sonic Pylons of Death, killing their best source of information and potential bargaining chip for Jack’s life in the process: -8
  • Knew about the C-4 in the Flame Station after all, suspiciously stowed some away in his backpack, and then acted like a jerk when Sayid discovered it: -4
  • Found Otherville: +4

    •  
    Net gain/loss: -11
    Current score: 110
    Kate:
     
  • Questioned Eyepatch Guy, revealing a few tidbits of information about “the list” and the Others’ mysterious leader: +1
  • Wanted to run up and touch the Sonic Pylons of Death before Sayid stopped her: -2
  • Devised a plan to circumvent the Sonic Pylons of Death. Gee, it’s a good thing the sonic death field didn’t also extend vertically from the pylons: +3
  • Found Otherville: +4

    •  
    Net gain/loss: +6
    Current score: 132
    Desmond:
     
  • Dropped in on Claire and Charlie’s picnic uninvited: -1
  • Spoiled Claire’s bird trap by taking a shot at an imaginary boar: -2
  • Captured bird using precognitive abilities. ESP — is there anything it can’t do, brotha?: +4
  • Saved Charlie’s life, yet again: +10

    •  
    Net gain/loss: +11
    Current score: 153
    Sawyer:
     
  • Shut down by Sun before he had a chance to bestow a nickname on Claire: -2
  • Would have been better off reading Paulo’s bathroom copy of Guns & Ammo than Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead:: -2

    •  
    Net gain/loss: -4
    Current score: 163
    Jin:
     
  • Built a bird trap that looked like it could double as a soccer goal: +3

    •  
    Net gain/loss: +3
    Current score: 122
    Sun:
     
  • Got stuck on chum duty: -2

    •  
    Net gain/loss: -2
    Current score: 110
    Jack:
     
  • Seemingly joined up with the Others. Under most circumstances, this would result in a loss of Lost-vivor points, but in Jack’s case, I think it’s time he tried something different. What’s the worst that could happen? He can’t be any more in last place: +3

    •  
    Net gain/loss: +3
    Current score: 84

     
    Like last week, Sayid continues to make significant gains while Locke falls farther down the rankings. Who would have thought Locke would be tied with Sun after twelve weeks of Lost-vivor? Meanwhile, the big story this week is Desmond. If Sawyer’s nickname ban lasts another episode or two, the magic Scotsman may very well take the lead. Don’t count out Kate, either; she’s been making slow but steady gains throughout the season. Oh, and look out Paulo! As the newest member of the Others, Jack is gaining on you — fast!

    With twelve weeks of Lost-vivor in the books, here are your standings:

    1. Sawyer (163) (-4)
    2. Desmond (153) (+11)
    3. Kate (132) (+6)
    4. Jin (122) (+3)
    5. Sayid (120) (+8)
    6. Hurley (118)
    7. Locke (110) (-11)
    8. Sun (110) (-2)
    9. Claire (107) (+3)
    10. Vincent (105)
    11. Nikki (97)
    12. Charlie (95) (+3)
    13. Paulo (93)
    14. Jack (84) (+3)

     
    That’s it for this week’s installment of Lost-vivor! Next week, we’re getting another sure-to-be-tragic Locke flashback in “The Man from Tallahassee.” The promos suggest this will be the episode where we finally learn how Locke lost the use of his legs. Unless the story involves throwing knives, I personally don’t see his Lost-vivor prospects improving. Oh, well — at least it’s not a Paulo flashback. See you next time!

    Posted by Jess | Filed Under Lost-vivor |

    10 comments so far...

    1. Jeff Schiller March 15, 2007 12:20 am

      I liked this episode, it was a natural progression up to next week’s presumably confrontation episode between the Others and the Survivors and did reveal some interesting tidbits about leaders, lists, and Locke’s actions. And it did put one of the least interesting characters in a somewhat interesting light.

    2. Veronica March 15, 2007 2:22 am

      So… did they just use a twist tie and a piece of paper on the bird note?

    3. Jess March 15, 2007 7:39 am

      Veronica: I’m guessing “yes.” So, as long as the bird doesn’t fly through a storm or, like, brush its leg up against something, I’d wager they’re off the island in a week. Maybe two, tops.

    4. Datadog March 15, 2007 8:41 am

      Let’s just hope there’s someone on a nearby island capturing random seabirds and inspecting their legs. And that the seabird doesn’t frollick in the water before it gets to them.

    5. Babs March 15, 2007 10:35 am

      Might the Others be the ones doing research with the birds? That is, they tag them, let them fly around the island, have them spy on the Losties, etc.? I’m sure Ben and Co. will shed a tear after reading Claire’s note.

    6. mon March 17, 2007 3:05 pm

      I thought for sure Locke would gain some points for frying eyepatch guy, I thought it was awesome. Ooops. I blew up yet another “hatch”. Ooops, I fried a guy to death. I can’t wait to see what he is really up to!

    7. Thom March 19, 2007 2:54 pm

      Boy am I glad to be caught up with Lost again, just so I can keep reading Lost-vivor!

      But seriously, I thought Locke frying that guy was the best part of the show. I would have easily given him +15. You know if they kept him alive this week’s episode would end with all 4 of those numnuts in captivity and eye-patch guy doing shots with Ben.

    8. jmanna March 19, 2007 2:58 pm

      Thank you. You have warped the show forever for me. See, now I watch Lost and think ‘Oooo damn, that should /so? get Hurley some points.’ or ‘Hey look, Locke’s being a dumbass. Again. That’s 5 demerits, Locke! Cripes, you want to lose to Jack or something?’

      I remember when I used to watch the show for plot.

    9. daye March 29, 2007 11:06 am

      You are hilarious. I am laughing so hard I have tears running down my cheeks. THANK YOU!

      PS- My money is split between Vincent and Sawyer.

    10. zaur July 16, 2007 1:45 pm

      i like this movie


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