100 Facts in 100 Days: Fact 96

Posted on March 13, 2007 @ 8:36 am

96. I’m a shallow enough person that when I see someone fall down — and I mean fall down spectacularly, preferably with arms flailing and maybe a cartoony “Whoa…whoop, whoop!” sound effect — I can’t help but chuckle on the inside. After all, I’m only human.

That being said, I briefly dated a girl in college who fell down all the time. I don’t know if she was just clumsy or if she had poor balance or what, but we literally couldn’t walk from the campus dining hall back to her dorm without her wiping out at least once. We’re talking full-scale banana peel, flat-on-your-ass falls, too. Fortunately (and somewhat miraculously), she never injured herself. Heck, I even caught her a few times. What can I say? I’m romantic like that.

At first, I have to admit that I felt really sorry for her. I’m sure the whole ordeal was embarrassing, not to mention painful. As the weeks went by, however, and I saw her fall down dozens of times with no injuries, it all started getting funnier and funnier. It was like I was dating one of the Three Stooges, only with a better hairdo. Before long, I found myself snickering every time I helped her back to her feet. Then giggling. Then laughing. Then, I believe the appropriate term is “chortling.”

Believe it or not, we stopped seeing each other not long after that. I think it had something to do with me being the worst human being on the face of the Earth. Sometimes, I think back on that relationship and it plays out like a montage in my mind — a montage of magnificent spills accompanied by a laugh track and the Benny Hill theme.

Then again, maybe she was put into my life for a reason. Instead of teaching me to be a more mature person, however, the relationship only shined a light on the fact that I’m a total sociopath.

Oh, well. I guess I can live with that.

Posted by Jess | Filed Under 100 Facts |

14 comments so far...

  1. amber March 13, 2007 8:55 am

    I think you dated my doppleganger.

  2. Chris March 13, 2007 8:58 am

    No, you’re not a total sociopath. A total sociopath would’ve pushed her down for laughs. So you got that going for you, which is nice.

  3. patricia March 13, 2007 11:20 am

    Up through my mid-twenties, I was a constant faller, caused by a combination of always walking too fast and a silly need to buy silly shoes. I only once caused serious damage. After a while, you sort of learn to brush off the humiliation and laugh things off. I did anyway. To me, it actually was sort of interesting to see people’s reactions. Once the initial, “Oh my god, are you okay?” reaction passed, the tendency is to laugh. You’re not unique in that. Sorry!

  4. yoshi March 13, 2007 11:33 am

    I think everyone laughs a little bit on the inside. But I’ve known a couple of people who fall a lot as well. I just blame it on dorkiness. I myself have almost taken many spills, and have earned the “i do all my own stunts” t-shirt.

    That’s funny though. I think I would have laughed as well.

  5. Phollower March 13, 2007 1:52 pm

    Laughing when your girlfriend falls makes one a sociopath?

    Color me guilty.

  6. Robin March 13, 2007 2:31 pm

    What I learned from watching Telly Tubbies: When someone falls down and doesn’t get hurt, it’s okay to laugh. Then it’s time for a ‘big hug’.

  7. Becca March 13, 2007 9:09 pm

    I had a friend in highschool like this. Anytime she pissed me off I would give her a little push in the right spot and she would go tumbling down to the ground. Damn it made me smile everytime.

    Needless to say we are no longer friends.

  8. Jess March 14, 2007 7:36 am

    Amber: You didn’t attend college in northeast Tennessee during the late 1990s and go by a different name, did you?

    Chris: You have no idea how much better that makes me feel. Knowing I’m only mildly sociopathic is at least a step in the right direction.

    Robin: Did that Teletubbies lesson t involve the sun with a baby’s face superimposed over it? ‘Cause that thing creeps me out!

    Becca: I probably would have resorted to that myself if she wasn’t kind enough to oblige me by falling on her own accord so regularly.

  9. MsMaizun March 14, 2007 10:19 am

    Oh that’s Laugh Out Loud funny in my books.

    I once witnessed my best friend “accidentally” back over her boyfriend’s foot as he was trying to get into the backseat of the car. My girlfriend & I laughed (in hysterics) all the way to the hospital and then once in the emergency room a nurse told us we were being increadibly insensitive… which made us laugh even harder.

    Talk about sociopath!!

  10. jmanna March 14, 2007 4:05 pm

    I am a clutz. I am capable of walking over flat ground and tripping over air. I have the grace of a pregnant water bufflo on ice skates.

    And when I trip or fall I will laugh out loud _at myself_.

    If I have the ability, I will sometimes leap up afterwards and declare ‘Tah-dah!’ with my arms spread over my head like Mary Lou Retton after perfectly sticking a landing.

    I have yet to really injure myself. Worse I’ve done is turned an ankle.

  11. Zencat August 29, 2007 12:24 am

    Hi, I found your blog when doing a
    three stooges search. I guess it was because of your mention in passing.

  12. fishboy September 9, 2007 6:59 pm

    heh, thats not all bad, when one of my friends told me that one of his friends died of an extacy overdose (it later turned out he survived, but only just) i burst out laughing, i just couldnt stop. needless to say i was ostricised (i know i cant spell) for a while.

  13. Stef October 5, 2007 12:29 pm

    I think it’s hilarious when people fall…And everyone should have the right to laugh a little..On the inside.
    I don’t get how she could fall so much? Maybe one leg is longer than the other..?

  14. Leah March 13, 2008 4:09 pm

    I’m here early today…just excited about LOST later..and was nosing around. LOVE the 100 things! Every one is like a little treat, and I get 96 at once!! As Napoleon Dynamite would say, “Yessssssssssss!!!!!!!!!”


Leave a Comment

If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.

Name (required)

Email (required)

Website

Comments


© Copyright Apropos of Something • Powered by Wordpress • Using Eye Candy theme by Brian Gardner.