Posted on March 13, 2007 @ 8:36 am
96. I’m a shallow enough person that when I see someone fall down — and I mean fall down spectacularly, preferably with arms flailing and maybe a cartoony “Whoa…whoop, whoop!” sound effect — I can’t help but chuckle on the inside. After all, I’m only human.
That being said, I briefly dated a girl in college who fell down all the time. I don’t know if she was just clumsy or if she had poor balance or what, but we literally couldn’t walk from the campus dining hall back to her dorm without her wiping out at least once. We’re talking full-scale banana peel, flat-on-your-ass falls, too. Fortunately (and somewhat miraculously), she never injured herself. Heck, I even caught her a few times. What can I say? I’m romantic like that.
At first, I have to admit that I felt really sorry for her. I’m sure the whole ordeal was embarrassing, not to mention painful. As the weeks went by, however, and I saw her fall down dozens of times with no injuries, it all started getting funnier and funnier. It was like I was dating one of the Three Stooges, only with a better hairdo. Before long, I found myself snickering every time I helped her back to her feet. Then giggling. Then laughing. Then, I believe the appropriate term is “chortling.”
Believe it or not, we stopped seeing each other not long after that. I think it had something to do with me being the worst human being on the face of the Earth. Sometimes, I think back on that relationship and it plays out like a montage in my mind — a montage of magnificent spills accompanied by a laugh track and the Benny Hill theme.
Then again, maybe she was put into my life for a reason. Instead of teaching me to be a more mature person, however, the relationship only shined a light on the fact that I’m a total sociopath.
Oh, well. I guess I can live with that.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under 100 Facts |