Posted on March 1, 2007 @ 1:37 am
Welcome to Week Ten of Lost-vivor — all the mystery and adventure of Lost with an added dash of Survivor-style competition. Here’s the deal: after each week’s Lost, I’ll award and deduct points from the characters based on their actions during the episode. I’ll tally up the Lost-vivor scores as the season progresses, and, at the end, we’ll declare a Lost Season Three champion! You can catch up on the action so far at the Lost-vivor archives.
Please note that the section ahead contains spoilers for last night’s episode of Lost. Proceed at your own risk.
Well, it seems I wasn’t the only one who thought last week’s Jack-centric episode of Lost was a major disappointment. If the comments I received last week are any indication, you folks didn’t like it that much either. While far from perfect, I felt “Tricia Tanaka Is Dead” was at least a significant improvement over learning the shocking secret of Jack’s tattoo. Jorge Garcia is a charming guy, and it’s hard not to enjoy any episode in which he’s featured prominently. Plus, the scenes with Sawyer, Jin, and Hurley working on the van together added a much-needed dose of levity to what’s been a fairly somber season so far. On the other hand, I could do without the slow-motion closing montages we’ve seen two weeks in a row now. Come on, producers — that’s just corny.
Hey, now that the Lost-vivors have a working van, is anyone else hoping Sayid will outfit it with a bunch of debris from the plane wreckage and turn it into a tank, A-Team style? No? Just me? Fair enough.
Let’s check out this week’s scores, shall we?
| Sayid:
Grilled Kate for useful information on the Others. Hey, if these people keep asking questions, they’re liable to actually figure out something sooner or later: +3
Tracked down Kate in the jungle: +2
Net gain/loss: +5
Current score: 93 |
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| Paulo:
Dutifully keeping track of the island’s DHARMA oatmeal bar supply: +1
Dumped on Hurley’s scheme to repair the van in front of the entire camp. Yeah, it’s pointless, but cut the big guy some slack, dude: -3
Net gain/loss: -2
Current score: 97 |
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| Locke:
Tracked down Kate in the jungle: +2
Has a crazy-ass plan to find Jack using the bearing carved into Eko’s stick: +2
Net gain/loss: +4
Current score: 139 |
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| Vincent:
Yay! Vincent’s back: +1
And he found a skeletal hand: +1
And it’s holding a lucky rabbit’s foot key chain: +1
Yay! Guess who gets to go on a van ride: +2
Net gain/loss: +5
Current score: 105 |
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| Hurley:
Dude, his dad is Cheech: +3
Too bad Cheech is a deadbeat: -2
Kept Libby apprised of current events on the island: +1
Managed to keep pace with Vincent while chasing him through the jungle: +1
Found the DHARMA hippie van: +2
Became the proud owner of his very own Mr. Cluck’s: +3
Until it was hit by a freakin’ meteor. Cluck you, Tricia Tanaka: -5
Accidentally knocked off Roger Workman’s head: -1
Required earphones to drown out the sound of parental boot-knockin’: -2
Visited a clothing-optional psychic: +2
But it turned out Cheech paid the psychic to dissuade Hurley from traveling to Australia: -2
Hurley totally figured it out, though: +2
At a cost of $10,000: -3
Smacked the mopey, emo rock hobbit: +2
Bestowed nickname on Sawyer (Redneck Man). Don’t quit your day job, Hurley: +1
Started van’s engine with his squinty Hiro powers: +6
Net gain/loss: +8
Current score: 113 |
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| Kate:
Played Androcles, pulled dart out of Sawyer’s paw: +1
Successfully found her way back to camp: +3
Recruited Rousseau to rescue Jack instead of, you know, Locke or Sayid: -5
Net gain/loss: -1
Current score: 121 |
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| Sawyer:
Stepped on a mysterious jungle dart: -3
Successfully found his way back to camp: +3
Bestowed nickname on Charlie (Oliver Twist): +2
Bestowed nickname on Charlie (The Munchkin): +2
Bestowed nickname on Hurley (Snuffy): +2
Bestowed nickname on Roger Workman (Skeletor): +2
Bestowed nickname on Hurley (International House of Pancakes): +2
Bestowed nickname on Hurley (Jumbotron): +2
Bestowed nickname on Charlie (Jiminy Cricket): +2
Totally busted for watching Little House on the Prairie: -15
Net gain/loss: -1
Current score: 170 |
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| Nikki:
Was she in this one? She looks like all the other female extras to me: -1
Net gain/loss: -1
Current score: 97 |
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| Charlie:
Actually shown shaving on screen, solving the longstanding “Why is Desmond the only castaway with a beard?” mystery. And people say this show never answers any questions: +4
Bit Desmond’s style yet again by calling him “brotha”: -1
Volunteered to ride shotgun in the hippie van of death: -4
Actually survived another week. Suck it, universe: +5
Net gain/loss: +4
Current score: 92 |
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| Jin:
Refused to practice English with Sun, but got hooked on phonics with Sawyer: -1
Brought Sun a flower from the jungle. He’s learning: +2
Net gain/loss: +1
Current score: 111 |
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| Jack:
Kate has set into motion her plan to rescue him: +2
Kate’s plan involves recruiting the crazy French lady who lives in the jungle and speaks with an Eastern European accent: -1
Net gain/loss: +1
Current score: 81 |
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Hurley is the week’s big mover, posting a respectable eight points and climbing up a few notches in the rankings. Vincent also made his triumphant return and racked up five points, catapulting (or should I say dogapulting?) everyone’s favorite Labrador ahead of a whiny single mom from Australia, a former drug addict/rock star/hobbit, a spinal surgeon, an Iraqi interrogator, and a couple of annoying, tacked-on latecomers. Good boy, Vincent!
After ten pulse-pounding weeks of Lost-vivor, here are your standings:
- Sawyer (170) (-1)
- Desmond (142)
- Locke (139) (+4)
- Kate (121) (-1)
- Hurley (113) (+8)
- Jin (111) (+1)
- Sun (107)
- Vincent (105) (+5)
- Claire (104)
- Nikki (97) (-1)
- Paulo (97) (-2)
- Sayid (93) (+5)
- Charlie (92) (+4)
- Jack (81) (+1)
That’s it for another installment of Lost-vivor! Sayid apparently takes center stage in next week’s episode, “Enter 77.” Can he capitalize on the spotlight and finally start making some headway in Lost-vivor? Tune in next week to find out!
couple of things
1)hurley should get at least 20 points for straight up pimp slapping the emo hobbit
2)where is delenn…i mean rousseau on the chart? any episode with delenn…screw it she’s delenn…in it is good IMO.
3)Soylent Green ist mensch fleisch.
Having been here from the beginning, I have to say, maybe my favorite Lost-vivor yet. Especially Sawyer racking up the points just to get shot down for little house. It was like watching a 4 year old get screwed over playing chutes and ladders.
By the way, I like the Androcles reference. I’m an actor and my college is doing Androcles and the Lion as we type. Crummy production, but still a good reference.
Wow I’m surprised Vincent didn’t rack up more points, honestly.
Not much else to say, except that I watched this episode from bed and didn’t last through the whole thing.
Totally agree with Daniel here - good one on Sawyer. Also, I liked “Started van’s engine with his squinty Hiro powers”
Also, I think all four should have got something for having a fun beer-induced van ride in the jungle…
Brandon: At some point before the season began, I decided I’d only include the main group of castaways in the rankings. As a result, Rousseau and the Others didn’t make the cut (I added Paulo and Nikki since they fit the “good guy castaways” model more closely). Since I started out on that path, I figured I’d keep going along those lines for the rest of the season — mainly because I don’t want to retroactively score Juliet or Ben. That being said, I might make the change and include a more diverse group if there’s another season of Lost-vivor.
Daniel: Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it. I chalk it up to the heavy dose of Benadryl I took before writing the recap. Reading over it this morning, I don’t recall writing significant chunks of it.
Jessica: I thought it was so cute that Vincent just hung around while they repaired the van. My favorite scene this season may be Hurley, Charlie, Jin, and Sawyer looking out over the valley right before they try jump starting the car, and then Vincent pokes his head in and joins them.
Jeff: Far be it from me to pass up a Heroes reference.
I rather liked this episode. It didn’t really answer or ask any important questions, but it did have a bunch of guys drinking beer and fixing a van with a dog and a dead body. Then they went coasting down the hill of death which was probably the most action-packed sequence of this whole season. Plus, a building exploded.
I loved seeing Vincent riding around in that thing. He’s such a happy puppy!
And I hope Roger Workman becomes a regular character. There’s so much a group of castaways could do with a rotting corpse for the sake of comedy.
Yeah, I rather enjoyed the episode, its probably been the hardest I laughed at a Lost episode ever. The scenes with Sawyer and Hurley were the most funny. I liked how Sawyer was so pre-occupied with getting his stuff back that he forgot that Hurley and Jin hadn’t even seen he was back yet when he started going at them. I also liked when he was drinking beers with Skeletor. High comedy. It looks like next week though we may get some answers as we find the eye-patch hatch man.
No rankings on Desmond this week? I thought he should get some negative points for not coming clean to Charlie and acting like what he said was drunken rumblings.
Just dropped by to say hello and tell you how much I have enjoyed reading all about you and your posts. Thanks for choosing me as your “landlord” this week, I have a post up about you and I hope it brings more traffic your way.
By the way, was that YOU that bit my kid back at the World’s Fair??? lmao
How can you subtract points for recruiting the crazy French woman??? That might be the first smart thing anyone’s done. She’s lived there for 16 years and she has motivation (Alex). She is the best chance they have at finding the Others’ homes.
Datadog: I came this close to adding Roger as a Lost-vivor competitor. After all, he’s more interesting than Nikki or Paulo, right?
Adam: Yeah, it was nice to just have a fun episode of Lost after all this time. Seeing Sawyer interact with someone — anyone! — other than Kate was a treat, too.
Dariana: Thanks for accepting my bid — not to mention the warm welcome over at your place!
Jennifer: I figurde the “crazy” factor outweighed the “island familiarity” part.
Maybe Rousseau will prove me wrong next week.
I am a devoted reader over at Dariana’s, “Charmed & Dangerous and she posted a great review of your blog. I agree, you have style. I will make a point of coming back.
Oh and I am a Lost fan and actually enjoyed it last night. It was light heated and the script wasn’t all over the place. I laughed my butt off when I saw Hurley’s dad was Cheech!
The Hippy mobile was a fun touch also but it must have a hidden meaning of course. Did Mr. Workman die from a DUI or was he trying to escape his captors. Hmmmm?
seriously dude. stop calling Delenn Rousseau. It mocks her intergalactic awesomeness.
also, I think vincent is one of the Others. discuss.
I think Charlie is okay, but he should get some more points for getting in the van with Hurley. I mean, if someone told you that you were going to die and they couldn’t do anything about it, would you be that eager? I noticed a couple people already made the comment I was going to about his “Hiro powers”. Good stuff.
This blog is brilliant and incredibly entertaining.
That is all.
Kaitie: Thanks for the kind words! I’m glad you like the site.
Hey! Back on episode “Not in Portland”, you said about Sawyer’s nicknaming that “Maybe I’ll set up a system of diminishing returns from now on; the first nickname gets +2, and it’s +1 for every nickname thereafter.” and that was just for giving 4 nicknames in one episode, this episode had 7. Now, I’m glad he had the points removed due to “little House”, but he is definitely racking up too many points for what is obviously a severe memory problem where he honestly can’t remember people’s names. This is a serious medical condition, and he should consult his physician (once he gets rescued).
do all of Sawyer’s nicknames garner 2 pts? Some are way sweeter than others; “Freckles” for example?
again thanks, your efforts are appreciated.