I want a new drug

Posted on November 30, 2006

I’m now two weeks into a nasty, hacking cough that, despite my best efforts, just won’t go away. In addition to coughing my head off all day long, I can’t sleep when the evening rolls around. So, I’ve turned to cough suppressants just to make it through the night.

I started out with NyQuil, but I kept having an awful phantasmagorical dream of falling down a bottomless pit after taking it. It was the kind where you feel like you’re still falling when you wake up, and you do that weird full-body jerk in bed. Man, I hate that.

Then I moved on to a prescription cough syrup with codeine. The falling sensation was gone, but it was replaced by the distinct impression that a zombie was standing beside my bed and poking me with his rotting finger every time I closed my eyes. Not an improvement, per se.

Last night, I combined a little Benadryl with my codeine and inexplicably dreamt that I was working as a lab assistant to 18th-century French chemist Antoine Lavoisier as he devised the metric system. I have no idea what corner of my brain Monsieur Lavoisier was tucked away in, but I suppose it’s better than the falling or the touchy-feely zombie.

I think I’ll stick with the Benadryl/codeine cocktail.

I believe it’s what the kids call a “mashup”

Posted on November 29, 2006

YouTube: “Paperback Believer” is a pretty awesome mashup of the Monkees’ “I’m a Believer” and the Beatles’ “Paperback Writer.”

100 Facts in 100 Days: Fact 84

Posted on November 29, 2006

84. My favorite fashion faux pas is the trusty flannel shirt. I realize it’s not 1993 anymore, but I keep four or five flannels tucked away in the back of my closet, just in case they ever come back into style.

What, no slave girl Leia?

Posted on November 28, 2006

Counting down the twenty sexiest women in sci-fi. In my defense, only seven currently hold restraining orders against me.

A Very Apropos Christmas Playlist

Posted on November 28, 2006

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a nut when it comes to Christmas music, and with Thanksgiving now out of the way, it’s time for my meticulously assembled Holiday Mix ‘06. Here’s what we have spinning this season.

1. “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas,” Bing Crosby
2. “The Christmas Waltz,” The Carpenters
3. “Jingle Bells,” Bing Crosby & The Andrews Sisters
4. “Marshmallow World,” Dean Martin
5. “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” Barenaked Ladies & Sarah McLachlan
6. “Blue Christmas,” Elvis Presley
7. “Christmas Time is Here,” Vince Guaraldi Trio
8. “Sleigh Ride,” Arthur Feidler and the Boston Pops
9. “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,” Thurl Ravenscroft
10. “Deck the Halls,” Bing Crosby
11. “Jingle Bell Rock,” Bobby Helms
12. “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” The Jackson 5
13. “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” Andy Williams
14. “Santa Baby,” Earth Kitt
15. “The Christmas Song,” Nat King Cole
16. “Christmas Song,” Weezer
17. “Mele Kalikimaka,” Bing Crosby
18. “Holly Jolly Christmas,” Burl Ives
19. “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” Dean Martin
20. “White Christmas,” Bing Crosby
21. “Winter Wonderland,” Johnny Mathis
22. “Last Christmas,” Wham!
23. “Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy,” Bing Crosby & David Bowie
24. “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” Gene Autry
25. “Silver Bells,” Bing Crosby
26. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” Frank Sinatra
27. “Feliz Navidad,” Jose Feliciano
28. “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree,” Brenda Lee
29. “Mr. Snow Miser,” Dick Shawn
30. “Merry Christmas Darling,” The Carpenters
31. “Wonderful Christmastime,” Paul McCartney
32. “Home for the Holidays,” Perry Como
33. “All I Want for Christmas Is You,” Mariah Carey
34. “Here Comes Santa Claus,” Gene Autry
35. “Let It Snow,” Dean Martin
36. “The Chipmunk Song,” Alvin and the Chipmunks
37. “I’ll Be Home for Christmas,” Bing Crosby
38. “Frosty the Snowman,” Gene Autry
39. “We Wish You a Merry Christmas,” Bing Crosby

Ah…Christmas music. Did I leave any favorites off the list? Oh, and if you’re particularly daring, you can listen to my karaoke version of “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.” For what it’s worth, it’s not quite the sonic assault of my last karaoke offering.

Infinite Mario

Posted on November 27, 2006

Like Mario 3? How would you like to play…forever? Infinite Mario Bros. offers up a new set of randomized levels every time you play — right there in your web browser!

Review: ‘For Your Consideration’

Posted on November 25, 2006

Considering how much I loved Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, and A Mighty Wind, it’s only natural that I went into For Your Consideration, the latest comedy from Christopher Guest and company, with high hopes.

Sadly, those hopes — just like my hopes of someday growing up to be a famous ballerina — were cruelly dashed on the rocky shoals of reality.

The premise is solid. Home for Purim, the low-budget film-within-a-film, starts to generate unexpected Oscar buzz for its stars and, um, hilarity ensues. Only it doesn’t. Unlike Guest’s previous films, For Your Consideration just doesn’t bring the funny — unless you consider watching a bunch of actors with ridiculous haircuts the pinacle of comedy.

It’s not that the acting is bad, either. Jane Lynch, for one, gives a spot-on hilarious performance as the host of an Entertainment Tonight-style tabloid show, and Parker Posey is always an Apropos of Something favorite. I think the problem is in the barebones script the actors were given to improvise against. There’s just something lacking in the story department and it leaves For Your Consideration an underwhelming, unfunny mess.

The verdict: D+

100 Facts in 100 Days: Fact 83

Posted on November 24, 2006

83. If I ever become a club DJ, my stage name is going to be DJ Jessassin. You know, like “Jess” plus “assassin.”

It’s okay to be jealous.

Review: ‘Stranger Than Fiction’

Posted on November 24, 2006

So, we took my parents to see Stranger Than Fiction as our post-Thanksgiving dinner entertainment, figuring that a Will Ferrell movie was a safe bet. Personally, I liked the movie, but I can’t speak for the family as a whole. I’m don’t know if it was the tryptophan in the turkey or the movie itself, but an hour into Stranger Than Fiction, I heard my dad snoring just a few seats away in the theater. Ah, Thanksgiving!

Quick plot synopsis: Harold Crick (Ferrell) is a character in Karen Eiffel’s (Emma Thompson) latest novel, and she’s narrating his life — and imminent death. Of course, only Harold can hear her.

Ferrell’s dramatic turn is convincing, reminiscent of Jim Carrey’s in The Truman Show. Plus, I think I have a little crush on Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character, Ana Pascal — an adorable tattooed bakery owner who is the object of both Harold’s desire and the audit he’s conducting on behalf of the IRS.

Overall, Stranger Than Fiction feels a lot like a script by Charlie Kaufman (the writer behind Being John Malkovich and Adaptation), and that’s a good thing. It drags a bit toward the end and perhaps takes itself a little too seriously at times, but on the whole, its two hours of solid entertainment.

That is, unless you’re my dad. Then it’s 45 minutes, tops.

The verdict: B

‘Ripped from the Headlines’ starring Spider-Man

Posted on November 23, 2006

Spider-Man! Ripped from the headlines! Original image via Scans Daily! The Apropos Comics archive is here! Overabundance of exclamation points via Stan Lee!

Apropos of Music: Regina Spektor, Belle & Sebastian, Nellie McKay

Posted on November 22, 2006

Just an idea of what I’ve been listening to lately…

Regina Spektor, Begin to Hope

I first heard about Regina Spektor a year or so ago, but I didn’t bother to check out her music until I saw the rather charming video for “Fidelity” from her latest album, Begin to Hope. The music press describes Spektor as an “anti-folk” artist, but I have no idea what that means. Her songs are piano driven with quirky lyrics (”Summer in the city/Means cleavage, cleavage, cleavage!”) and a unique voice that practically works as an instrument itself.

Some of my favorite tracks from Begin to Hope include the aforementioned “Fidelity,” as well as “On the Radio” (a song that deserves to win this year’s Grammy for Best Reference to the Guitar Solo from Guns N’ Roses’ “November Rain” by a Solo Artist). “That Time” features Spektor’s wistful reminiscences from the standpoint of a relationship that has seen better days, and “Hotel Song” can’t help but get stuck in your head with lyrics like, “I have dreams of orca whales and owls/But I wake up in fear.” A few missteps here and there shouldn’t stop this album from becoming Regina Spektor’s much deserved big break into the mainstream.

 

Belle & Sebastian, The Life Pursuit

Speaking of musical genres that I’ve never heard of, Wikipedia claims that Scotland’s Belle & Sebastian fall under the heading of twee pop — “a type of indie pop that is known for simple, sweet melodies and lyrics, often combined with jangling guitars.” I suppose that fits.

The Life Pursuit is Belle & Sebatian’s latest release, and while it doesn’t quite measure up to earlier masterpieces like Dear Catastrophe Waitress or If You’re Feeling Sinister, it’s a damn good album start to finish. It never ceases to amaze me that this band hasn’t had its major breakthrough in the US yet. When it comes to catchy retro pop, nobody does it better than Stuart Murdoch and company. Standout tracks from The Life Pursuit include the infectious “White Collar Boy,” the brilliantly cheesy “The Blues Are Still Blue,” and the R.E.M.-esque “To Be Myself Completely.”

 

Nellie McKay, Pretty Little Head

One thing is certain about Nellie McKay: her music defies categorization. Should we call her style hip-hop cabaret? Maybe disco folk? How about Latin lounge fusion? McKay is difficult to pin down because the answer changes from track to track. I’ve been a big fan of McKay’s music since her 2003 debut, Get Away From Me, and now, after nearly a year of delays, her follow-up has arrived. Pretty Little Head continues the trademark genre-hopping of McKay’s first album, at the same time offering her a chance to opine about some of her favorite causes. There’s an ode to gay marriage (”Cupcake”), as well as protest songs decrying urban gentrification (”The Big One”) and animal cruelty in the labs at Columbia University (”Columbia is Bleeding”). McKay also recruits k.d. lang and Cyndi Lauper for duets along the way.

The primary reason for Pretty Little Head’s delay was McKay’s dispute with her record label over the length of the album. She wanted a 23-track version spread across two discs, and Columbia Records wanted a leaner 16-track version. McKay eventually broke from Columbia and released the full album independently. Maybe she should have listened to her old label. In its current form, there are simply too many disposable tracks on Pretty Little Head — including a yodel and a song dedicated to pouncing “like a pussycat” — that don’t add in any meaningful way to the album as a whole. Still, bright spots like “I Will Be There,” “Long & Lazy River,” and “There You Are In Me” make for an album that, at the very least, never fails to surprise.

100 Facts in 100 Days: Fact 82

Posted on November 21, 2006

82. I have an unspoken rule against discussing movies I’ve just watched until after I have exited the theater lobby and I’m on my way to the car. I really get a kick out of critiquing movies — even movies that I enjoy — and I always feel like a pretentious jerkface discussing something like poor character development when the other people filing out of the theater are saying, “I liked the part where things blew up.”

Review: ‘Casino Royale’

Posted on November 19, 2006

I’m not what you’d call a James Bond fan. In fact, recent installments in the series have seemed so interchangeable as to blend together in my mind to form one giant film (GoldenEye is Not Enough to Die Another Tomorrow) where Pierce Brosnan shoots former Soviets turned terrorists with a bazooka while riding a surfboard off the coast of North Korea, wearing a tuxedo, and cracking lame jokes. Oh, and there’s a Bond girl named something like Lacy McThighs or Sahara River.

Casino Royale, the twenty-first installment in the series, takes major steps toward redeeming the Bond franchise. First, you can dismiss any doubts about Daniel Craig as 007. He’s the real deal — in my opinion, the finest since Sean Connery. The film’s darker, more realistic tone is also a welcome change. The jetpacks and other ridiculous gadgets are gone, as are the completely over-the-top action scenes (i.e. no car chases on giant frozen lakes). What’s left is basically a character study of a man with a license to kill, just starting off and learning to cope with the unique nature of his new career. In my opinion, it’s just what the Bond franchise needed.

The film isn’t perfect, however. It’s a half hour too long, the villains are less than compelling, and the high-stakes poker tournament that drives much of the narrative is anti-climactic. Nevertheless, Casino Royale is a solid action flick and definitely worth the price of admission.

The verdict: A-

I got chills, they’re multiplyin’

Posted on November 17, 2006

YouTube: Tenacious D joins forces with Gollum to perform “You’re the One That I Want” from Grease, live in concert!

Because nobody demanded it!

Posted on November 17, 2006

Behold the wonders of SingShot — free online karaoke!

Click here if the embedded player doesn’t work and you’re a glutton for punishment. Speaking of punishment, I also did an awful version of Alanis Morissette’s “Head Over Feet” (don’t ask).

You can blame Katie for introducing me to the site. Now that I’ve made a public spectacle of myself, I encourage all of you to do the same.

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