What am I going to do with all this garlic?
Posted on October 26, 2006 @ 1:50 pm
Good news! Just in time for Halloween, scientists prove vampires are a mathematical impossibility. No word yet on Frankensteins.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Asides |
11 comments so far...
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NO! Vampires are real
Unrelated but I can’t figure out why my cocomment plugin isn’t working on your site.. what did you break?
It works on other WP sites!
Hmm…I have no idea. As far as I know, I’m using the comment code from the default template. That being said, I hacked in the default code already because my theme has some wacky non-standard stuff interfering with normal operation. Maybe there’s something else lurking in there that’s causing cocomment not to work.
Any guesses? Perhaps you know more about this stuff than I do (since I actually hadn’t heard of cocomment until now).
P.S. I’m sorry, but you just can’t argue with the math. Vampires aren’t real. But, if it cheers you up at all, we definitely have the historical evidence that mummies are real.
Next I suppose they will be debunking the connection between the tooth fairy and the great quarter crisis of 02.
Of course, I doubt the math added the variable of slayings into the mix.
MC: Great point! Let’s see…if there’s one slayer every generation and she manages to kill roughly five vampires a week…
I was thinking more that a town is terrorized by vampires and a few of the villagers nip up to the castle during the day and wipe them all out… so they think.
And killing the head vampire does wonders for your previously vampiric population.
Vampires have their own population control too. Not EVERYBODY that gets bitten become a vampire. Some victims just die. The math is not solid enough to convince me, so there!
The cocomment thing works very poorly in general lol, so I have no clue either. Usually it loves wordpress sites though because they’re supposed to have seemless integration I thought. Or maybe I’m confused and it works with some other CMS. Don’t mind me.
i used to watch the old black and white vampire movies where the dracula would force someone to open a window and let him. every once in a while, late late at night, when i turn to face the window i sort of expect to see the pasty fellow with the awesome cape to be there, with those intense eyes, willing me to let him in so he can suck my blood.
somehow i don’t think this “proof” is gonna make that go away.
fact 2, day 1038.
Katie: That’s true…vampirism doesn’t have a 100% transmission rate like, say, zombism. I’m seriously starting to doubt the merit of this article.
Pea: I do the same thing, only with me it’s more like that episode of The Simpsons where Smithers imagines a naked Mr. Burns floating through his window and hovering over his bed.
More inconsistency on the vampire math! Being bitten by a vampire does not make you a vampire - you only become a vampire if they let you drink from their blood before you die.
Its true! Buffy said so!