I’ll get you someday, Soda Popinski!
Posted on October 24, 2006 @ 11:28 am
You know what’s depressing? After almost two decades of practice, I’m no better at video games today than I was as a ten-year-old.
When I was ten, one of my favorite Nintendo games was Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! I was never particularly good at the game. Success required good timing and the ability to discern your opponents’ patterns of attack — neither of which was my strong suit as a kid. No matter how many times I tried, I could never beat Soda Popinski (pictured right with his bubble-gum pink skin). After much frustration, I gave up and moved on to other NES games. But Soda Popinski still haunted me.
A couple of days ago, I decided I would take another crack at Punch-Out — just for old times’ sake. I was amazed at how quickly it all came back to me after almost twenty years. I worked my way up through the ranks until I finally reached my old archnemesis, Soda Popinski. BAM! He knocked me out in the first round. I tried again. And again. No luck. I still can’t beat Soda Popinski.
I’ve logged well over a thousand hours playing video games since I last faced Soda Popinski, and I still can’t beat him?!? And it’s not that I’m rusty; I zipped through the first eight or nine Punch-Out opponents in record time. I just can’t beat Soda Popinksi. With all that practice through the years, am I really not any better at video games than when I was a kid? What have I done with my life?
Hell, I’ve been trying to beat Soda Popinski for so long that the country he represents (the USSR) doesn’t even exist anymore.
I tried explaining the dilemma to my wife, and this is what she came up with: “Honey, why don’t you just play Galaga instead? You’re good at that, and it always makes you happy.”
Man, sometimes she just doesn’t get it.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Geek |
13 comments so far...
Leave a Comment
If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.
If you stand toe-to-toe with this bum, he’ll kill you. It doesn’t take a man to stand there and get your head beat off! He’s just a video game sprite, Jess, so be MORE video game sprite than him! Go get him; Eye Of the Tiger!
*cue training montage*
Whatever you do, DON’T TRY W.O.W. You’ll be addicted for life and your wife will divorce you. Seeing as how I just got married a month ago, I think it’s too soon for that.
I’ll wait one more month.
Datadog: In all fairness, though, Little Mac’s sprite is only about three feet tall and couldn’t weigh more than 60 pounds. What’s up with the lack of weight classes in the Video Boxing Circuit?
Celise: I’ve already gone to the WoW abyss and back. My wife and I were completely addicted for over a year. Thankfully, we broke the habit, but it was tough going for awhile there.
I don’t think I could ever even get by the Hippo guy. I installed an emulator a couple years ago to try again and, what do you know? I still suck.
In case you don’t read Perry Bible Fellowship, I thought you might like his take on Punchout.
After beating the three latest Need for Speed games more than once I thought I’d have a crack again at the very first Need for Speed.
I never could get very far with the tournament mode and I thought that my new driving skills would help me. No such luck.
And I worked out what the problem is too. Over the years, the AI has become more human. The new opponents sometimes make the same mistakes humans do. The NFS1 opponents were finely-tuned driving machines. They were infallible and I’m still a loser compared to them, almost a full decade later.
Jess, you are not going to like Mr. Sandman. All I am saying.
You are probably getting name-checked in my current entry BTW.
Dude. Give it up until I can be there to get you by him again.
Oh Lord, I have the WORST time with Soda. I promise that eventually you’ll get him. It takes REALLY sharp reflexes and you REALLY have to watch carefully for his pattern - all MTPO is is pattern recognition, really - and you WILL get him.
Then you have to re-fight Don, and Bald Bull, and Mr. Sandman, and Super Macho Man…
…I NEVER get past Super Macho Man.
oh i’ve never felt so much that we were brethren as right now my friend. for soda popinski haunts me as well. everything up to there is a cakewalk. piston honda? cinch. i laugh in the face of king hippo, and i’ve mastered that crazy punjabi’s magic punch years ago. but soda popinski still eludes me…*shakes fist in frustration*
How does this sound, Brandon?
Let’s just pretend that Soda Popinski is bugged and impossible to beat. When people assure us they’ve beaten Soda and gone on to defeat all the boxers who follow him, we’ll just assume they’re lying.
When my brother had Nintendo, he had the Tyson punch out game. He managed to reach and beat Tyson. I managed to beat Soda, reach Tyson, but I never could beat Tyson.
Soda Pop is easy.
Trick is to keep your guard up the whole time. Three out of four times he will crouch down into uppercut position and wait for you to drop your guard. Give him a low punch while he’s crouched and you’ll get a star. Put your guard back up immediately and repeat.
After a while he will try to give you a body punch (rather than crouch). They come in twos - so once the first one hits your gloves, dodge and the second will miss. Then punch him in the face once to stun him, than use your star and upper cut him.
Use this strategy and you will TKO him in round 2.
I was five when i first played punch out n i was 22 when i finally faced Soda.Soda is a man with great skill.One thing is certain, He can be defeated.I knocked him down twice, but never won.