The return of Fedora-and-Pipe Guy?
Posted on June 27, 2006 @ 9:43 am
Probably the single question I’ve been asked most since I returned to blogging last week is whatever happened to my old archnemesis, Fedora-and-Pipe Guy (see here, here, and here). By way of an update, it’s now been over a year since I last spotted FPG. I don’t know if he graduated, went underground, or just stopped wearing a fedora and smoking a pipe, but I haven’t seen him. Nevertheless, I had a chilling Fedora-and-Pipe Guy related experience just last weekend.
I had arrived fashionably early at a friend’s party, and her husband was giving me the grand tour of their house. Now, I already knew that her husband occasionally smoked a pipe. I don’t have a problem with that. Nor do I have a problem with college-aged people who wear fedoras. What makes Fedora-and-Pipe Guy my archnemesis is the fact that he double-dips from the gimmick bowl, wearing a fedora and smoking a pipe. That’s just not right.
So, we’re on the tour. Oh, lovely wine rack. Ooo, inlaid bookcases! Did you build that coffee table yourself? Very nice. Then we reach the master bedroom, and I see it ominously sitting there atop his dresser.
A fedora!
Now, barring extensive plastic surgery, I’m confident my friend’s husband isn’t the Fedora-and-Pipe Guy, but I find it no less disturbing that he’s a fedora-and-pipe guy. Are there more of them? Are they acting independently or in support of the original Fedora-and-Pipe Guy? Most importantly, how do I fit into their schemes?
Needless to say, I spent the rest of the evening inconspicuously spitting hors d’œuvres into a napkin rather than swallowing them. You can’t be too careful with these fedora-and-pipe people.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Random Musings |
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I wear a fedora. I wonder, if I start smoking a pipe will the organization furtively contact me, or will I have to actively seek them out?
Holy bloody crap-on-a-cross! I am that man. Or at least I am, displaced by space and time! I’m sorry sir, but it seems that there is not so much
Umm, I just read your earlier posts… Yes, I wear a fedora during the summer. Yes, I wear a Russian hat during the winter. My usual pipe is a calabash (also known as a Sherlock Holmes pipe). And on occasion, I do enjoy a cigar. I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve stumbled upon something. Either you’ve found your nemesis, or an undercover ally….
Feel free to get in touch with me for more disturbing info…