Qapla’!
Posted on August 23, 2005
A list of Klingon fairy tales, including such favorites as “Goldilocks Dies With Honor at the Hands of the Three Bears” and “Old Mother Hubbard, Lacking the Means to Support Herself With Honor, Sets Her Disruptor on Self-Destruct and Waits for the Inevitable.”
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Asides | Leave a Comment
The First Day of Class with Professors Goofus and Gallant
Posted on August 19, 2005
A student introduces himself and says that he is originally from Canada.
Professor Gallant says: “That’s excellent! I really look forward to hearing your perspectives on the topics we’ll cover this semester.”
Professor Goofus says: “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll speak slower.”
Just call me Professor Goofus.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Tales from the Classroom | 8 Comments
Now, if someone could just do this for Usher’s “Confessions”
Posted on August 10, 2005
Something Awful serves up Cliffs Notes on R. Kelly’s five-part opus “Trapped in the Closet.” I see this song achieving a cultural relevance rivaling that of Bob Dylan’s “Blowin’ in the Wind” or John Lennon’s “Imagine” in a few years.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Asides | 4 Comments
Two years of the finest in mediocrity
Posted on August 8, 2005
Imagine, if you will, a world without Apropos of Something. A world where this blog doesn’t exist. No tales from the classroom. No weird news. No celebrity gossip. No comics strips with wacky new dialogue. Nothing. Well-intentioned surfers are instead left with little choice but to read one of the literally millions of other blogs available to them on the Web (many of which are funnier, more informative, better designed, and/or updated more frequently).
As utterly frightening as it sounds, such a world existed until two years ago today.
On that fateful day, however, Apropos of Something sprang forth from my head, fully formed like the goddess Athena. Well, fully formed except that it launched under a different name. And with a completely different tone. And that it ran on different blogging software. Otherwise, though, it was fully formed. Trust me.
Since then, it’s been a fun ride, and I deeply appreciate everyone who checks in regularly to peruse my inane ramblings. Things have been a little quiet around here lately, but I’m working on getting back into the saddle (as soon as I find a saddle blanket that matches my stylish bandana and cowboy hat).
Now, let us celebrate the second blogiversary of Apropos of Something with much joy and merriment! Feel free to quaff the beverage of your choice to mark the occasion. Unless it’s Mountain Dew. That’s just gross.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Blickity-Blog | 20 Comments
Domestic Definitions: Basket case
Posted on August 7, 2005
basket case
n.
2. Domestic definition. What my wife wants to transform my bookcases into by replacing most of the actual books with cutesy baskets purchased for five bucks a pop at IKEA: “My wife is making me a penniless basket case by insisting that we turn my bookcases into basket cases.”
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Life in a Nutshell | 5 Comments
I pity the fool who wrote this song
Posted on August 2, 2005
Mr. T reminds us to treat our mothers right — in song! [via]
