The Origin of Batman (As Told by a Packet of Bootleg Trading Cards)
Posted on August 26, 2008 @ 8:08 am
I find it vaguely disturbing that Batman’s — er, make that Spiderman’s — modus operandi is to “stroke all criminal activates and criminals everywhere.”
via Scans Daily
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Geek, Pop Culture | 8 Comments
Man of Steel: The Superman Movie I Want to See
Posted on August 23, 2008 @ 10:26 am
In the wake of The Dark Knight’s record-breaking box office haul, it’s no surprise that Warner Bros. has set ts sights on a complete reboot of the Superman movie franchise — more or less ignoring 2006’s disappointing Superman Returns.
My Superman reboot would take the franchise in a completely different direction. First up, I’d set the film in 1938, the year of Superman’s debut in Action Comics #1. Moreover, I’d use CGI to create a highly stylized Metropolis, evoking a retro pulp art aesthetic and harkening back to the Fleischer Superman cartoons from the 1940s. If you’ve seen Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, that’s very close to what I have in mind.
Lex Luthor would be the film’s villain — depicted here as a mad scientist who unleashes an army of giant robots on the unsuspecting citizens of Metropolis. Lois Lane is a tenacious reporter for the Daily Planet with a knack for finding herself in harm’s way. Meanwhile, Superman is something of a mystery — new to the scene, nobody knows where he came from or what he’s doing in Metropolis. I’d also scale back his powers a bit to bring them more in line with his early appearances (i.e. stronger than a locomotive, faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound). From there, the film basically writes itself: Superman smashes a few dozen robots, captures Lex Luthor, and rescues Lois Lane from certain doom.
Of course, I’m probably the only person on Earth who would want to see a retro Superman flick. As far as a more “box office friendly” reboot of the Superman franchise goes, I have a few suggestions after the jump.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Geek, Pop Culture | 8 Comments
The Adventures of a Girl Who’s, Like, Totally Old Enough
Posted on August 21, 2008 @ 1:01 pm
A play in one act, inspired by my most recent trip to the movies.
Box Office Worker: That will be fourteen dollars. And I’ll need to see your ID, please.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: My ID? Why?
Box Office Worker: It’s rated R. You need to be either 17 or be accompanied by an adult.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: Oh, well, I’m afraid I don’t have my ID with me today. [Turning to her friend, who's maybe 12, tops.] Do you have your ID with you?
Her Friend, Who’s Maybe 12, Tops: Um…no. Let’s just go see something else.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: I wish they would hurry up and mail me my new ID.
Box Office Worker: Who? Who do you wish would mail your new ID?
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: Er…the state. Like, the DMV. I’m waiting for my new ID that says I’m 17.
Her Friend, Who’s Maybe 12, Tops: Let’s just get out of here, Katie.
Box Office Worker: Look, would you like to buy a ticket for another movie? There are people waiting.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: [Whispering to her Friend, loudly enough that anyone in a five-foot radius could easily hear.] Let’s just get a ticket to something else and then, like, sneak into Tropic Thunder. [To the Box Office Worker.] Yes, since my new ID hasn’t arrived yet, I believe I will buy two tickets for…Pineapple Express.
Box Office Worker: That’s rated R, too.
Girl Who’s Obviously No Older Than 13: Fine! Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, okay?
Box Office Worker: That’s two tickets for Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. Enjoy your movie.
FIN.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Random Musings | 9 Comments
“Star Wars: The Clone Wars” Review
Posted on August 18, 2008 @ 5:05 pm
I remember the exact moment that I completely lost faith in the Star Wars prequels. It was during the climactic arena battle in Attack of the Clones, while R2D2 dragged C-3PO’s detached head back to his gold-plated droid body. That’s when Threepio groaned, in his inimitable manner, “This is such a drag.” Get it? Drag? Oh, George — you’re such a kidder!
Over the past few years, however, my opinion on the prequel trilogy has softened considerably. I’ve steadily grown to appreciate the intricacies of Palpatine’s grand plot to overthrow the Republic, Ewan McGregor’s charming performance as Obi-Wan Kenobi, the understated menace of Christopher Lee’s Count Dooku, the spectacular lightsaber duels, the gorgeous special effects…I’ve even made peace with Jar Jar Binks (almost). No, the prequels aren’t perfect. No, they don’t live up to the Original Trilogy. Nevertheless, there are some pretty decent Star Wars moments lurking in Episodes I through III.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars is Lucas’ latest entry in the Star Wars saga, a CGI-animated flick set between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. Essentially a theatrical pilot for the upcoming television series of the same name, The Clone Wars has been met with dismal reviews from critics and Star Wars fans alike. For instance, Linda Barnard of the Toronto Star raves, “Pretty much drives a stake into the heart of every loyal fan of the movies!”
Well, I’ve seen The Clone Wars…and it isn’t that bad. At least I didn’t think so. I’ll address some of the most common criticisms leveled at the film after the jump.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Geek, Pop Culture | 7 Comments
Do you take this…lobster-type thing to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Posted on August 17, 2008 @ 11:45 pm
Sometimes, seeing photos of another couple’s wedding makes me want to run out, book a venue, and renew my own vows. Case in point:
Just so we’re all on the same page here, that’s Admiral Ackbar of the Mon Calamari getting married to Rebel leader Mon Mothma. With Slave Girl Leia presiding. More details here.
Speaking of Star Wars, I should have my review of The Clone Wars posted tomorrow.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Geek, Pop Culture | 8 Comments
Apropos of Something: A year older, none the wiser
Posted on August 8, 2008 @ 9:14 am
Woohoo! Today marks the fifth anniversary of Apropos of Something’s glorious launch, and I wanted to invite everyone out there in Internet Land to join me in quaffing the celebratory beverage of your choice (as long as it’s not Mountain Dew).
As the site’s banner proudly proclaims, I’ve been dispensing two-fisted justice here at Ye Olde Blog since 2003 — primarily in the form of movie reviews, geeky countdowns, remixed comic book panels, and overly-elaborate TV show recaps. Even scarier, I just realized this morning that I’ve been consistently publishing on the Internet in one form or another (webzines, fansites, blogs) for the past thirteen years. Just imagine what a more socially responsible individual could have accomplished during that same amount of time!
Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone who’s followed the site through the years. When I started blogging back in ‘03, I never imagined anyone would be interested in reading my inane ramblings. You guys make it fun, and I appreciate that you’ve stuck around — even through my brief infatuation with blogging about Britney Spears back in ‘07.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m heading off on vacation for the next few days. Regular posting will resume soon. Arrivederci!
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Blickity-Blog | 9 Comments
Hello Kitty Contact Lenses
Posted on August 7, 2008 @ 8:52 am
Hello Kitty will swallow your soul.
(via TokyoMango)
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Pop Culture | 3 Comments
AproposLinkMy Top Ten Films of 2008 (so far)
Posted on August 5, 2008 @ 4:26 pm
With the summer blockbuster season drawing to a close, this seems like an opportune time to look back at my ten favorite films released so far this year.
9. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull — I didn’t hate Indy’s latest adventure, but how depressing is it that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull barely cracks my top ten?
8. Get Smart — A much better film than I ever would have expected. It was a treat to seeing Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway make Agents 86 and 99 their own rather than attempting to precisely replicate the tone of the classic television series.
7. The Incredible Hulk — A marked improvement over Ang Lee’s 2003 snoozer. It’s too bad that such an engrossing flick got lost in the shuffle amidst this summer’s instant superhero classics, Iron Man and The Dark Knight.
6. Hellboy II: The Golden Army — This sequel not only boasts a more compelling storyline than the previous film, but it also affords director Guillermo del Toro the opportunity to let his imagination run wild in crafting the bizarre, phantasmagorical monsters faced by Hellboy and company. Plus, Ron Perlman is about seventeen different kinds of awesome in the title role.
5. Cloverfield — It seems like ages since J. J. Abrams’ shaky-cam giant monster flick crashed into theaters, but the film’s visceral “you-are-there” action sequences still leave a strong impression months after its release.
4. WALL-E — Yes, I’m a total sucker for the WALL-E/EVE robo-love story. I’m not sure how Pixar has managed to assemble their team of the very best visual storytellers in the business, but it certainly pays off big time here.
3. Sex and the City: The Movie — I honestly couldn’t imagine a better film adaption of the HBO series. In fact, it’s one of the very few comedies I’ve actually enjoyed this year.
2. Iron Man — Without question, Robert Downey Jr. was the perfect choice to play billionaire industrialist Tony Stark. Throw in an intelligently reimagined origin story, amazing special effects, and solid performances from Jeff Bridges and Gwyneth Paltrow, and you have a recipe for one of the greatest superhero flicks of all time.
1. The Dark Knight — I’ve already raved about The Dark Knight enough here at Apropos of Something in recent weeks. Suffice it to say that it’s going to take one hell of a movie to knock Batman off the top spot by year’s end.
Although the summer is winding down, there are still plenty of flicks I’m looking forward to in 2008, including Pineapple Express (August 6), Tropic Thunder (August 15), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (August 15), Hamlet 2 (August 22), Burn After Reading (September 12), Zack and Miri Make a Porno (October 31), Quantum of Solace (November 7), and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (November 21).
What are your favorite films of 2008 so far, and what releases are you still anticipating?
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Pop Culture | 7 Comments
“Help! My house smells too delightful!” (Intervention)
Posted on August 4, 2008 @ 9:19 am
I’m afraid my obsession with scented candles has finally spiraled out of control. The tipping point may very well have been this phone call I received yesterday.
Mark: Hi! This is Mark from Yankee Candle. May I speak with Jess, please?
Me: This is Jess.
Mark: Oh. <slight pause> Hi, Jess! I just wanted to call and let you know that Yankee Candle will be debuting its new autumn fragrances in a few weeks. We’re throwing an in-store party to celebrate, and since you’re a frequent customer here at Yankee Candle, I wanted to invite you to join us.
Me: Uh…okay. Thanks.
Mark: Great! Hope to see you there!
I think it’s safe to assume that Mark’s conversational pause was due to his surprise that, of all the “frequent customers” he’d been asked to call, I was the first one who turned out to be a dude. And with such a misleading name, too!
Nevertheless, the call speaks to a deeper problem — my aforementioned obsession with scented candles. In response to the escalating nature of the situation, I’m officially declaring a personal six-month moratorium on all candle purchases. For the next six months, I won’t buy any new candles and will only burn existing candles from my (admittedly substantial) stockpile. That’s unless somebody gives me a Yankee Candle gift card for Christmas — you know, because then it would be rude not to spend it.
Hmm…so, what does one wear to a candle-sniffing party?
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Life in a Nutshell | 8 Comments
AproposLinkBowser’s Minions
Posted on August 1, 2008 @ 10:59 am
It’s about time the foes from Super Mario Bros. 2 got their due!
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Geek | 5 Comments
Review: “The X-Files: I Want to Believe”
Posted on July 31, 2008 @ 4:38 pm
What I liked about X-Files: I Want to Believe…
• The Mulder/Scully Chemistry: David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson always brought an oddly compelling chemistry to their roles, and it’s still alive and well fifteen years after The X-Files first premiered on television.
• The Standalone Storyline: Kudos to series creator Chris Carter for pursuing a standalone plot rather than relying on the convoluted mythology of the series (long forgotten by all but the most dedicated X-Philes).
• It Was Creepy: Always a plus when it comes to the X-Files.
• Amanda Peet: I’ve been an Amanda Peet fan ever since the criminally underrated Saving Silverman, and I enjoyed seeing her pop up here as the FBI agent who enlists Mulder and Scully’s services. That being said, I couldn’t help but wonder if she and Xzibit were stand-ins for Agents Doggett and Reyes from the show’s later seasons.
What I didn’t like about X-Files: I Want to Believe…
• Mulder and Scully’s Ambiguous Relationship: Yes, the show was always evasive when it came to pinning down the status of Mulder and Scully’s relationship, but I Want to Believe seems to go out of its way to make the whole thing as confusing as possible — especially for casual viewers who barely remember where the series left off back in 2002. Oh, and their son William? Written out completely.
• The Jokes That Fell Flat: I Want to Believe tries its best to get a few laughs out of a former priest who was defrocked due to charges of pedophilia, and it comes across just as awkwardly as you might expect. Meanwhile, I’m still trying to figure out what Chris Carter was going for when the camera lingers for a few moments on portraits of J. Edgar Hoover and George W. Bush hanging in FBI headquarters while we hear the familiar opening notes of Mark Snow’s X-Files theme playing ominously in the background.
• The Low Stakes: After nine seasons of aliens, government conspiracies, super soldiers, and evil bees, I Want to Believe’s plot feels a little mundane in comparison. I won’t spoil the plot here, but I’m pretty sure they lifted it directly from Sensational She-Hulk #3.
• Scully is a Magical Doctor: The series portrayed Scully primarily as a forensic pathologist, but all the sudden she’s performing highly experimental neurosurgery in I Want to Believe. I guess she’s one of those magical “omni-doctors” from television and the movies who specializes in everything. Oh, and what does Dr. Scully do when she needs to do some research on stem cell therapy? The same thing any Stanford-graduated physician would do — she Googles it.
• The Post-Credit Scene: Be sure to stick around after the credits to see a downright mortifying bit of fan service.
X-Files: I Want to Believe wasn’t nearly as bad as many reviewers made it out to be, but it was still underwhelming in the sense that it didn’t live up to many of the series’ most fondly remembered episodes. In turn, I can’t help but wonder, why now? Why this project? Six years after the television series ended and ten years after the first X-Files movie, what was it about I Want to Believe that compelled Anderson and Duchovny to return to the roles that made them famous in the first place? Now, that’s a mystery worth investigating.
The verdict: B-
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Pop Culture | 4 Comments
AproposLinkTelephonic invasion
Posted on July 29, 2008 @ 9:25 am
As I’ve mentioned before, my wife and I are among the few remaining people on Earth who don’t own a cell phone. In fact, at last count, I believe it’s down to us, a handful of off-the-grid survivalists in Montana, and a stubborn Kalahari Bushman named O’wa.
I realize that it’s a little out of the ordinary for a iPod-toting, blog-authoring technogeek like myself not to own a cell phone, but it occurred to me the other day that I barely even use our landline. I often go four or five days at a time without speaking to another human being over the phone. Apparently, my beef isn’t with cell phones, per se; it’s with the entire concept of telephonic communication.
If I had a time machine, I’d probably travel back to 1876 and punch Alexander Graham Bell in his smug, beardy face. Then, while I was there, I’d do whatever I could to prevent Colorado’s admission to the Union (but that’s an altogether different story).
To recap, I’m not just a Luddite. I’m actually an antisocial, unpopular Luddite. With a grudge against Alexander Graham Bell. And Colorado. Just so we’re clear.
Posted by Jess | Filed Under Random Musings | 12 Comments
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