SLEET KENNEDY FOR PLAYBYTE: Well, Roger, this is truly an honor. You are almost as exclusive as Warrin Beady when it comes to interviews. Why is that?
ROGER WILCO: Well actually I called Okra and Silly Jessy to let them know I was free and they were all booked, so...
SK: So tell us, Roger, in all of your adventures, five to be exact, what was your most frightening moment?
RW: Well Sleet, I'd have to say...
SK: Was it in Space Quest II: Vohaul's Revenge, when you faced the ferocious Labion Terror Beast?
RW: Well, no, not real...
SK: Or was it in Space Quest III: The Pirates of Pestulon, when you foiled Awnoid the Annihilator by sic'ing the Pizza Pod monsters on him?
RW: Actually, Sleet, it...
SK: Wait, wait, I know. Space Quest I: The Sarien Encounter. There you were, trudging through the Keronian desert, trying to reach Ulence Flats when you encountered a fierce and deadly Orat. Not to be deterred, you valiantly killed and dismembered it, forging on to face an even greater menace: the vicious spider droid.
RW: Um...no...er, I mean...
SK: Ok, Ok. I've got it. Space Quest IV: Roger Wilco and the Time Rippers: Lost in Space Quest. There you are. In the future. Facing the complete devastation of your own beloved Xenon. That's gotta be it, right?
RW: Well, um, no, Sleet, but you are getting warm. My most terrifying moment was in Space Quest IV. It's a little embarrassing to admit, but I'd have to say the most frightened I've ever been was when I bought that cute little black number at the Galaxy Galleria and that great blonde wig. There I was strutting my stuff when all of a sudden I was overwhelmed.
SK: By the Sequel Police?
RW: No, I was overwhelmed by the feeling that maybe I have tucked the back of my skirt into my pantyhose and I was walking around like that in public and no one had the decency to tell me. Sleet, you're a woman. Don't you know that feeling?
SK: Oh my, where does the time go? It looks like we'll have to call it an interview. Thank you, Roger Wilco, for your time. And good luck in Space Quest V: The Next Mutation.
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This article is reprinted from InterAction Magazine, an
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