This is the personal diary of Ambassador Beatrice Wankmeister. These entries have been released to the public for the sake of further chronicling the life of the intergalactic hero, Roger Wilco. Please note that some sections have been edited in order to reflect the personal interests of Ambassador Wankmeister.

Stardate 1873.21

Dear Diary,

    Today was the big day!  I finally graduated from StarCon Academy--and at the top of my class, no less.  I've already  received an offer to come aboard the SCS Goliath as an ensign, but I think I'm still going to go through with my plans to enter the diplomatic corps.

    I received this diary today as a graduation gift from my parents.  I'm going to write in it every day and be sure to record all my deepest thoughts and feelings.

Bea

Dear Diary,

    Nothing exceptionally exciting happened today. I spent the night at my parents' house while waiting to ship off to Lexus LX to start my training in the diplomatic corps. But, I did promise to write in here everyday and I'm determined to do it!

Bea

Dear Diary,

    It's been a while since I last had the chance to write in you. Actually, I guess it's been about ten years now. Since then, a lot of things have changed in my life. For one, I was promoted up to full Ambassador with the Star Confederacy just over a year ago. Now, I've been assigned to track down the so-called Sludge Bandits that are spreading gunky pollution all over the galaxy. Frankly, they disgust me and I plan to put a stop to their polluting ways.

    I have just been temporarily transferred to the SCS Goliath, captained by the legendary Captain Raems T. Quirk. To be perfectly honest, the man doesn't impress me all that much at all. He strikes me as little more than an overblown windbag with a bad hairpiece. Of course, that's only my humble opinion. If half the stories I've heard about him are true, he would still be an intergalactic hero.

    Speaking of heroes, I met a rather obscure character today--Roger Wilco, the chap who saved the universe from the Sariens a few years back. It appears he is currently busy making his way through StarCon Academy. Although he didn't make the best impression when he stumbled into our executive officer meeting this afternoon, I have to admit he's kind of cute--in a janitorial kind of way, of course.

Ambassador Beatrice Wankmeister

Dear Diary,

    The Goliath pulled out of the Space Dock today on our way to investigate the nefarious Sludge Bandits. In other news, I understand that Wilco--the man I met yesterday--scored perfect on his SAT and was given his own ship on the spot! Obviously, he hides a certain intelligence under his... less-than-intelligent exterior.

    On an unrealted note, I noticed something a little odd this afternoon. I went to see Captain Quirk about the details of our investigation. When I walked into his quarters, I noticed he quickly shut down his communications terminal, almost nervously. I don't know why this struck me as being so odd, but I can't get it out of the back of my mind. I'm sure it's nothing, though.

Ambassador Beatrice Wankmeister

Dear Diary,

    I just can't seem to shake the feeling that something very strange is going on around here. I found out from an ensign today that Quirk has ordered all communications back to StarCon jammed. So, I'm totally cut off! I think it's time that I do something about this. I have an intuition about these things.

Ambassador Beatrice Wankmeister

Dear Diary,

    I've had it! Quirk has just been acting too oddly. Believe it or not, he actually has me confined to quarters now! I think I can sneak out of here, though. If I can manage to make it to the shuttlebay, I'm going to try to stow away in an escape pod and contact StarCon somehow. I don't know what Quirk is up to, but I'm willing to bet it's not on the up and up.

Ambassador Beatrice Wankmeister

Dear Diary,

    Do I have a story for you, diary! I was absolutely right about Quirk; he was actually allied with those no-good Sludge Bandits! I guess I should start this whole thing at the beginning, though.

    I managed to escape my quarters and escaped down to a nearby planet by escape pod. However, Quirk (actually, some of his mutant cronies) followed me down. I was about to be captured when Roger beamed down and saved me. In the process, though, I ended up getting a dose of Quirk's mutagenic slime on me. From what Roger tells me, he took me back to his ship and put me in cryo-sleep while he worked to find a cure for my condition.

    In a nutshell, Roger managed not only to save my life, but also to stop Quirk before he spread any more of his slime throughout the galaxy.

    Diary, I'm not sure if I'm rushing into things, but I think I might be falling for Roger. I've never met anyone so heroic--so simple. He cares for me, too--I'm sure of it. Who knows how things might work out. For the time being, he has invited me to join him on leave on Daventron V. I need to get out to the Galaxy Galleria and get myself a new bathing suit. For some reason, Roger refuses to come shopping with me there.

Ambassador Beatrice Wankmeister

Dear Diary,

    You will not believe what StarCon did to Roger! They brought him up on charges for destroying the Goliath and consorting with me, of all things! The man saved the galaxy and now they brought him in front of Admiral Toolman and the rest of the High Council.

    Basically, Roger has been busted down from Captain back to Janitor Second Class. It just doesn't make sense to me. He's shipping off tomorrow aboard the Deep Ship 86 for an undetermined tour of duty. He's leaving Spike with me, so I guess I'll be taking care of the little guy while he's gone.

    Diary, I don't want Roger to be away. For some reason, though, Roger keeps telling me that we'll end up together in the end anyway. I don't know where he draws his confidence, but I definitely hope he's right.

Ambassador Beatrice Wankmeister

Dear Diary,

    I just got news from Roger today! From what I understand, he stopped Sharpei from carrying out a dastardly plot involving transferring her mind into the body of some Corpsman. Roger promised he would tell me more about it the next time I see him.

    I'm so proud of Roger; it seems like he has a penchant for ending up in the right place at the right time. Or, maybe it's the wrong place at the wrong time.

    Roger still has a few months before the Deep Ship comes in for refitting. I'm looking forward to getting a chance to see him again. I miss him so much, diary! I just hope that maybe sooner or later we'll be together for good.

Ambassador Beatrice Wankmeister

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